CeltTim's BlogSpot

The rantings and life stuff of an ordinary guy with an extraordinary vocabulary.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Thoughts on Father's Day

It is Father's Day in America. This normally goes almost unnoticed for me. I am not a father. My relationship with my biological father is almost entirely absent. Yet today, I was thinking about the state of my life as it pertains to fatherhood.

The chances of my specific genes being perpetuated are practically nil. However, thanks to my brother, my family's genetic markers will succeed. One of my three nephews has already procreated twice and I'm confident the other two will do likewise at some point.

No, children aren't my ticket to immortality. That ship sailed long, long ago.

I haven't created offspring. Instead, I invested my parenting drive in obtaining and nurturing relationships with canines. My dogs Buddy, Max and Jake have been my kids. And while I'm sure none of them considered me a parent, they at least acknowledged my as the leader of their pack, their alpha. I made sure they were fed, doctored, exercised and had good lives. They will never carry my name or regale others with tales of my parenting, good and bad. But I anthropomorphize that they cared for me as well.

The thing that got me thinking about fatherhood and dogs was the time I spent yesterday with my friend Ryan and his dog, Libby. Libby is approximately three years old. Ryan adopted her from a shelter last October. She is a sweet little mutt of mixed lineage with ears like Dobby the Elf from the Harry Potter movies.
Libby has issues. Most of these seem to revolve around her food aggression. Anyone coming near her food is met with growling, teeth baring and a nip, if not an outright bite. When she gets over-stimulated, like by seeing Ryan at the end of the day after having been cared for by strangers all day, she jumps and yips and can lapse into the same aggressive behaviors. Watching Ryan correct her and love her and generally try to understand her made me realize that Ryan is, for all intents and purposes, her father. Just as I am to Jake now and Buddy and Max before him.

When I leave this realm, there will be very little to mark my passing. I am surprisingly okay with that. I have known the love of other creatures and I am better for it.

Monday, June 01, 2015

Employment Advice from a Burned Employee

There is plenty of advice online for creating a resume, responding to interview questions and handling pre-employment testing. I have seen very little information to help someone decide if he or she should take a position once it has been offered.

I guess the assumption is that if you applied for a job and it is offered to you, you should automatically accept it if the offer meets your salary and benefit expectations. Take some advice from someone who saw all the red flags but decided to ignore them and take a position that turned out to be very, very different from the one offered.

Warning Sign #1: Time Management

The person who conducted my first interview with the new company kept me waiting 45 minutes past my appointment with nary an apology. After all, I was at his mercy if I wanted a job, right?

If a potential employer keeps you waiting more than 15 minutes, walk away. If the job is something you ache for, tell the person monitoring you that you have another appointment, but you are still interested and will contact the employer for a more convenient time. When you leave, be prepared that the offer might expire. That might not be such a bad thing.

Here is the unvarnished truth: if the company or hiring individual does not respect your time before you are on their payroll, they certainly won’t respect it any more once they control your livelihood. In my case, the person who hired me needed everything ASAP, expected me to cancel or work through vacations and put in “as much time as required” despite working only 3-1/2 days per week himself.

Warning Sign #2: Title Change

Pay attention to the position title for which you are interviewing and if it changes, ask why.

I interviewed for a Product Engineer position. During the interview, the position was referenced as “Sales and Training Manager” and my offer letter came with the title “Customer Service Manager.” When I asked, I was told that because the company was new, Management was still deciding who would do what. "It means the same thing, " I was told. "We just call it that."

Bollocks. I found myself hired as the Customer Service Manager with the responsibilities of four full-time positions (CSM, CSR, Training Manager and Data Analyst) and the pay of one. The company I hired into was an offshoot of a long-established company, so Management had a good idea of how many qualified people they needed. They were just trying to get the “best bang for their buck.” Now, 2+ years after I took the job, the company employs 3-1/2 people to cover those functions.

Warning Sign #3: I Ask All the Questions Here

As I said, the company I interviewed with was an offshoot of a company that previously employed me. To be specific, a European company with a long history purchased part of my previous employer. To prepare for my interview, I researched the European company, took notes on their product lines and, since I thought I was interviewing for a technical position, prepared questions on how their products compared to the ones with which I was familiar and how their manufacturing methods differed from ours. Altogether, I had a couple of pages of notes, questions and printouts from the European company’s website. That’s what all the interview coaches tell you, right?

At the conclusion of my interview, I was asked if I had any questions. I brought out my notes and asked the first question only to be completely shut down. “I don’t know anything about these products, you’ll have to get in touch with a techie. We’re done here. Thanks for coming in.”

If the person interviewing you cannot answer your questions, whether the questions are about the position, the pay, the benefits, the product, whatever, they should be able to immediately put you in touch with someone who can. If they don’t (or can’t) consider the organizational implications of such a failure. Chances are, the company has communication struggles and/or has a regimented “silo” structure of departments/individual kingdoms and you should expect battles for control. Again, if you can walk away, do so.

Warning Sign #4: Pay No Attention to the Man behind the Curtain

If your interview is conducted by Human Resources or by members of Upper Management, ask to talk to someone currently working in the position’s department or at the position’s equivalent level. If the interviewer says no one is available, ask to set-up an appointment.

I recently interviewed with another company. The picture painted by my interviewer was so rosy and so perfect, I began to get suspicious. I was given a carefully guided tour and introduced to as few people as possible. When I asked to speak candidly with someone with experience in the position, I was strongly discouraged. I did manage to contact one of the people I met through LinkedIn who advised me to run, not walk, away from the employer. He ended by asking me if I knew of any job openings he might fit. Yeah.

My current employer keeps trying to recruit former colleagues into their nefarious ranks. To my shame, I actually recommended some of them join. Watching one of them flame out spectacularly convinced me to stop playing the “corporate” game. I no longer volunteer to sit in on interviews. I have candidly revealed my struggles to several former co-workers, away from the prying ears of interviews.

Take it from someone who has been on both sides of the interview table: good, qualified employees are hard to come by these days. If you are one of them, you are a precious commodity. Be sure the company, the position, your supervisor and your team are what YOU need to succeed before taking a position.