The Skunk Whisperer

Jake got skunked last night.

It wasn't his first encounter with mephitis mephitis or common striped skunk. A few weeks back, he woke me at 3:00 a.m., wanting to go out to the back yard. Upon releasing him through the sliding glass door to my patio, he ran right to a dark patch in the yard and then sprang back. That was a bad sign. I flipped on the patio light, only to see a good-sized skunk running right toward me. If I closed the door, Jake was stuck outside with the polecat. If I didn't, the critter either sprayed me or ran inside the house or both. I gave Jake a stern call and he ran right past the skunk and into the house. I slid the door shut and turned off the light. Even through the closed windows, I could smell the animal's fetid stench all night.

But, no one got sprayed and the smell went away after a day or so. No harm, no foul and luck was felt all around. For a while, I flipped on the light before letting him out, but eventually allowed myself to be lulled into believing Stinky moved on to greener pastures. Or at least, someone else's back yard.

Last night, around 10:00 p.m., I let Jake out for his usual last potty break of the evening. Again, he ran to a dark corner even further out in the yard and jumped back. A quick flick of the light switch revealed that LePew had struck again. And once again, he was running right toward me - fast!

Jake refused to come this time. I could already smell the acrid odor expelled from the damn skunk's anal glands. I guessed Jake had already gotten a dose. Repeated and increasingly stern calls went unheeded. He followed the skunk from a respectable distance. And the skunk was advancing on me. It finally stopped at the edge of the patio and just stood there, looking at me.

One last, desperate cry got Jake's attention and he bounded into the house. The skunk just stood there, sniffing the air and sizing me up. Quickly, quietly but without panic, I closed the glass door and turned to Jake to assess the damage.

He actually wasn't sprayed too badly. He obviously had gotten a few drops on his nose, but as far as I could tell, that was it. Several baths later (one each with dog shampoo, people shampoo, tomato juice and liquid hand soap) and he still smelled pretty bad, though a teensy less pungent. At around 3:00 a.m. I gave up, toweled him off and tried to get a little sleep.

That smell just keeps coming back at you. I never prayed for olfactory fatigue so much in my life.

This morning, I got ready for work, thinking the smell had largely dissipated. After a trip to my car, I realized my mistake upon re-entering the house. The smell almost knocked me over. So, I dropped Jake at daycare, put in a couple of hours at the office and came home to scrub carpets and upholstery and wash towels and linens.

The smell is a little less intense, but still present. I managed to decontaminate Jake this evening and a few furnishings using a mixture of peroxide, baking soda and hand soap I found on Wikipedia. Every time I walk outside and come back in, I'm reminded that all my efforts have yielded limited results.

Now, both times I encountered this skunk, it ran to me without a threatening posture. This has caused me to postulate that either the critter's name is Jake and he's just being really, really obedient, or my secret skill is being a Skunk Whisperer.

Just my luck...