VA Prom: Never Say Goodbye

Kevin Smith's View Askew prom was 10,000X better than my own prom ever was. I spent the entire evening with people I genuinely liked, drank to my heart's content (and my wallet's lament) ate fantastic food, danced and genuinely had a blast.

I rented a vintage, light green tux at Mr. Fun's, as shown above, which garnered a good deal of interest. Thing was, it was mostly polyester and hot as a sauna-suit. Ah, the things we do in the name of fashion.

Everyone was greeted as they entered prom by Kev, his lovely wife, Jen, and adorable daughter, Harley. The Grand Ballroom at the Holiday Inn was decorated in a Hollywood theme (what else?). Attendees had the option of getting professional photos taken. Dinner was a fantastic buffet -- one of the best I've ever sampled. And trust me, I've sampled a lot. Kevin announced that the Mister Softee truck was parked behind the ballroom and soft serve was free for the next two hours. The hotel also provided dessert -- a selection of cheesecakes, pastries and a cupcake tree with little "37's" on the cupcakes.

Then the dancing began -- totally 80's style. After several hours of dancing, karaoke was served up hot and delectable. I will never forget my friend Zeta's singing or Malcolm's version of Elvis.

I snuck away a couple of times with Dave & Dave (Captain Whacky and Mr. Plough) the Beeftrain Incident guys, for Irish Car Bombs. When the prom shut down at 1:00 a.m., we went back to the room for more drinking and B.S.ing until the wee hours. I have no idea what time I finally staggered back to my own room.

I awoke the next morning still pretty buzzed and dehydrated, but needing to start the long drive home. Thank God for Big Finish audio.

Honestly, I'm still basking in the afterglow of the weekend. I can't remember having a better time -- possibly ever. I know that makes me sound like I've lead a sheltered, uneventful life, but that's not true. This was just one helluva kick-ass weekend!