CeltTim's BlogSpot

Prettiest. Hippies. EVER.

2012-01-22T11:01:00.002-05:00

HAIR was the next show in our Playhouse Square package and I'll confess to being a bit dubious. I've seen several productions of the 60's musical and while always fun, it feltlike a show that is short on plot, basically a collection of songs. However, I was curious to see if this production featured the lone nude scene or if it got toned down for the sake of the bluehairs that most often attend these kinds of touring shows.

First things first: this was the most physically beautiful cast I have ever seen in musical theater. And I'm not just saying that because I got to see them naked. Yes, the nudity remained and Ye Gods, was it fun to see!

Exhibit A:

Not only was the cast GORGEOUS, they were the most tuneful, playful, interactive cast for this show I have ever seen. I loved every minute of this show and that is entirely a credit to the cast. The handsome guy in the center of the photo above is Steel Burkhardt (swear to Goddess, that's his name) who managed to be sexy, ethereal, yet earthy as central character Berger (I prefer Banana Berger).

Ryan Link's "Woof" (far right bottom corner of the photo above, kneeling) was a scene-stealer. Phyre Hawkins' ("Dionne") version of Aquarius gave me chills. Sara King delivered an impressive "Sheila." But, it was difficult to take my eyes off this:

Tribe member Marshal Kennedy Carter is just so gosh-darned fit. He also has an incredible voice, as exhibited when he sang "What a Piece of Work Is Man."

Sadly, none of the beautiful people joined us at Bricco after the show. Missie and I gave the performance two thumbs up and both agreed that if the hippies in the 60's were actually this pretty, the Summer of Love would never end and right now, we would be a multi-racial culture of gorgeous second-generation free-lovers.

Year End Lists: 2011 in Personal Review

2011-12-31T12:52:00.003-05:00

Media loves condensing events into lists, and nevermore than at year-end. So, here are my lists for seeing 2011 out the door...

The Top Five Worst Things for CeltTim in 2011:
#5 - I lost an old friend, Carolyn Beck. We became estranged some years ago and now that can never be made right. Still, I will forever treasure her quirky, sparkling wit and voracious intelligence.

#4 - I was not always as financially responsible as I would have liked. My only defense is that the medical bills spawned by suckage #1 made this especially difficult.

#3 - Frustration at work made me waste far too much time being angry and whiny. Time lost with negativity is never recaptured. Move on. No Day But Today.

#2 - The economy. I'm tired of watching friends lose jobs and lose homes and suffer upheaval and not be able to do something about it. Occupy Washington with non-politicians. Muzzle the Religious Right. DO FRIGGIN' SOMETHING!

#1 - Being hospitalized last January rocked my world and not in the good way. Accentuating the positive, I saw medical professionals at their best and learned who my real friends are. Clarity counts for something, right?

The Top Five Best Things for CeltTim in 2011:
#5 - (Those of you with delicate sensitivities should move on to #4. Really. Nothing to see here.) I got my freak on way more than anyone of my age, size and general appearance should ever have the right. Wowser. And for this, I thank the Almighty Electronic Gods and Goddesses.

#4 - I remained gainfully employed for the entire year, frustration notwithstanding. I still love my job, generally, and enjoy the people who work with me. I even manage to have a couple of good, real friends from there.

#3 - My auditory and optical nerves absorbed some damn fine entertainment this year: Doctor Who, Captain America, Thor, Glee, et al. Comics continue to be a passion and even "The New 52" turned out pretty good. But the thing that moved me the most started in a real theater, acted out by real human beings and then became an electronic obsession: next to normal. I miss the mountains.

#2 - Jake. 'Nuff said.

#1 - I got to spend some quality time with good friends in 2011. My friend Tammy both came to Akron to see me and I got to go to Chicagoland to visit her. Missie is my partner in crime and musical theater. Time spent with Lisa & George always makes me feel good about myself. Mike, Kiehl & Tim are family. Jim brings me joy on so many levels. Bob & Beverly are my surrogate parents. I am well and truly blessed.

So long, 2011; farewell; auf wiedersehen; adieu. Welcome 2012. Show me what you gots.

Will 51 Be Tons O' Fun?

2011-11-24T07:12:00.003-05:00

At 4:10a.m. I turned 51. Today, like that day over five decades ago, is Thanksgiving. I will be spending it with my dog and later, with friends.

I should probably have insightful, witty things to say on this occasion. Sadly, I do not. Maybe something will occur to me later.

Take care of yourselves, y'all. I am thankful for every sparkling day on this planet. UB2.

Broadway Series #2: Opening the Door to La Cage Aux Folles

2011-11-13T21:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, my friend Missie and I went to Cleveland Playhouse to see the touring production of La Cage Aux Folles starring George Hamilton and Christopher Sieber. It was a rollicking good time.

I've seen other productions of La Cage, but this one played up the comedic aspects of the source material to a fantastic, almost slapstick degree. Sieber's Albin and strong voice did the role proud. His delivery of gay anthem "I Am What I Am" was heart-wrenching.

George Hamilton's performance as Georges was understated. His voice was tuneful and his dancing on target. His performance made any age considerations disappear.

Also worth noting was Billy Harrigan Tighe's performance as Jean-Michel. His clear, bright voice on "Look Over There" brought a tear to my eye.

I ran into some friends during intermission who seemed less enthused about the performance. Their primary criticism dealt with the sparse drag costuming, unaware that this tour was the minimalist 2010 revival production.

The cast did some fund-raising after the show for Broadway Cares. My only regret was not having cash to get a signed program. Missie and I hustled to the nearest ATM and back, but we were too late. I'm tempted to go back and try again.

After the show, Missie and I went to our regular hangout, Bricco, and had drinks while the parking deck cleared out. Once again, the restaurant was frequented by members of the cast. It's always interesting to see actors off-stage, interacting with the real world.

Next in our package: Hair in January. I can't wait!

Shenanigans: McDonald's Monopoly Game "1 in 4 Instant Winners"

2011-11-06T07:23:00.002-05:00

I pass a McDonald's on my way to work after dropping Jake off at daycare. So, for good or ill, on those days when I want a quick breakfast or an easy dinner, I all-too often use their drive-thru.

The annual Monopoly game has traditionally been a pleasant diversion. I usually end up with a handful of instant winning tickets and had garnered a few online prizes, though nothing life-altering. However, this year I noticed a distinct change in the number of winning tickets. Once I realized there was a change, I started keeping track.

For 2011, the game started in restaurants in late September and ended yesterday, November 5, although most outlets ran out of game piece-bearing packaging sooner. According to the promotional pieces, the chances of winning are 1 in 4 with 125 million winning game pieces being distributed. Normally, I get enough instant winners to not give these statistics much thought. This year was different.

Over the course of that one-month-plus, I gathered 38 game pieces. (Keep in mind that most food items have more than one game piece, many have as many as 4 pieces.) Of those, I uncovered 1 instant winner. One. Singular. My actual winnings were 1 in 38.

I play the online "second chance" game and had 6 online wins. This brought my stats up to about 18%, still pretty distant from the supposed 25% winning rate. Five out of the 6 online wins were for Coke Rewards points, with the remaining prize being 20 free photo prints on Snapfish.

So, I'm calling shenanigans on McDonald's monopoly game this year. If I didn't take the time to play the online game, my disappointment would be much greater. Even with the online prizes, I suspect something is amiss. Anyone else notice?

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November

2011-11-05T12:33:00.003-04:00

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
- V for Vendetta

Photo Essay: McDonald's Halloween Bucket Collection

2011-10-30T12:28:00.009-04:00

I have a collection of Halloween treat buckets issued off and on as Happy Meal containers by the McDonald's fast food chain since 1985. I've shown some of these in previous blog posts, but I thought I would take some photos of the entire collection, since MickeyD's issued the most lame versions yet this year.

Also, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to SydLexia's fantastic photo essay of these kitschy gems. It was discovering her web page a few years ago that inspired me to fill out my collection. Check out her page. 'Tis awesome.

The first two photos are my entire collection:

The first plastic Happy Meal buckets were issued on a trial basis in 1985. They were all orange pumpkin recreations. The same set was reissued in 1986 with slightly smaller faces. The 1985 versions had some regional name variations. In some places, McPunk'n was named McPunky, McGoblin was aka McJack but McBoo was McBoo everywhere, as far as I know. The 1986 versions were reissued in 1987.

There were no Happy Meal buckets for 1988, but in 1989, the buckets got away from the "pumpkin only" theme, keeping McBoo and adding McGhost and McWitch. These versions still had the handle incorporated in the pail and had plastic lids. McWitch's pointy hat lid make stacking the pails for storage a bit more difficult, but no matter. The following year used similar pail designs, but in BRIGHT day-glo plastic except McBoo which did the glow-in-the-dark thing.

On eBay this year, I found a variation of the day-glo McWitch with an "M-shaped" handle. I have to say, I think McDonald's missed a cool marketing opportunity by not issuing all the pails with this kind of handle. Genius.

McDonald's stopped issuing pails every year. The 1992, 1994 and 1999 pails incorporate cookie cutters in the lids. The handles were now part of the lids, rather than the pails. Again, this made the lids difficult to stack. With the 1999 set, they abandoned pails with faces, and had wrap-around scenes instead. They also scaled the offering from three variations to two.

The twentieth century witnessed another major change to the Happy Meal pails. McDonald's stayed with two designs, but scaled the pails to a slightly smaller size, saved some plastic by putting the handle back on the pail, turning it into a cool "bat-wing" design and using a cardboard circle instead of a lid. Both designs used the wrap-around graphic.

The two most recent Halloween Happy Meal pail designs use stickers to complete the wrap-around graphic. Both are the smaller size, use snazzy handle designs and stiff-paper lids which carry the stickers. The 2010 versions were based on Mr. Potato Head with two different creepy skull- or Jack O'Lantern-shaped handles. This year's versions are essentially blank canvases, needing the stickers to be anything other than orange or green plastic. Bummer. But they have nifty cat-shaped handles. So, there's that.

And there you have it -- my complete collection of McDonald's Happy Meal Halloween buckets or pails or containers, choose your own term. It's been a fun project to collect and document. I sure hope the next time they issue a set, they rethink the sticker thing and give the "toys" a re-infusion of personality. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their attempt to incite creativity and individuality, but stickers don't last. And one of the real benefits of these kinds of toys are that you can pick them up again as an adult and display them proudly. And remember Halloweens past.

Broadway Series #1: Million Dollar Quartet Rocked!

2011-10-16T15:37:00.002-04:00

I went to Million Dollar Quartet with a bit of trepidation. Last season's "tell the story with the songs of" show, Jersey Boys was a decent show, but not my favorite.

However, the Saturday matinee Missie and I attended was energizing and fun. The show, a recreation of a studio session at Sun Records with Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash and the lone show-created female character, Dyanne. Most of the songs were familiar and all of the performances were expertly delivered. In the introduction to the show, the announcer immediately sets the expectation that the actors are also musicians -- there is no pre-recorded music in the show.

Of particular note was Derek Keeling's performance as a young Johnny Cash. He beautifully recreated Cash's deep, soulful voice and added a degree of sexiness I had never considered in the "real" Man in Black. Cody Slaughter's Elvis was also especially convincing and soulful. Even Christopher Ryan Grant's performance as Sun's founder Sam Phillips was thoroughly enjoyable.

The onstage smoking surprised me, although it was perfectly in keeping with the the show's 1956 setting. The show is performed in a single act without intermission, making it seem even faster than the most upbeat of the show's tunes.

This is one of the highest compliments I can give a show I have never watched before: I would happily see it again. Well done, MDQ!

Next show in our package: La Cage Aux Folles.

Ruminations on the End of Summer, Comic Conventions and Autographs

2011-09-05T13:38:00.006-04:00

It's Labor Day in the U.S., the "official" end of summer. (Okay, there's that whole Autumn Equinox thing a couple of weeks from now, but as paid holidays go, we're screwed until Thanksgiving.) My pumpkin patch has been wildly productive this year, but at least two of my largest gourds have rotted on the vine with some sort of nasty mold. I'm hoping to get at least a few survivors, after several years of huge vines producing nothing. (Welcome back, bees!)

I never got the call to be an extra on the Avengers movie. Bummer. But whilst driving past the set on the Megabus en route to Chicago, I caught a glimpse of filming. The thought that the Chrises (Evans and Hemsworth) were so close yet so far away was torturous. And yet, I survived.

When I got back from that trip to Wizard World's Chicago ComicCon a few weeks back, I intended to write a lengthy blog about my experiences at the con and visiting my friends Tammy & JR. Alas, "He who hesitates is lost," and I procrastinated long enough to no longer feel the urge to relive. Instead, I want to electronically ponder the phenomenon that is buying autographs from celebrities at such gatherings.

When I first started attending comic book conventions, media guests were few and far between. Occasionally, you'd see D-list actors from old TV shows, and you could pay them some nominal fee to sign a photo (usually one they provided) and/or have your photo taken with them.

Sci-fi conventions, on the other hand, often featured actors and actresses signing memorabilia or photos, most often for free. Long lines for Star Trek actors meant spending hours standing, then having a few precious seconds to blurt out your admiration while getting an action figure or model signed.

I have a wall of signed photos in my dining room. And not only photos of sci-fi and comics actors, but magazine covers from home improvement programs, signed posters of bands, and Playbills from performances where I patiently stood outside the stage door with a Sharpie and hope. I even have a signed photo of Ron Jeremy that reads, "To Tim, thanks for the nice words... I hope you get some lipstick on your dipstick."

In recent years, the practice has gotten more and more commercialized. The fees for standing in line and getting a signature have skyrocketed. Most of the time, I just sucked it up (love that cliche!) and paid the money. But an experience in Chicago may have changed that forever.

In preparation for my pilgrimage to the Windy City (actually Rosemont, but cut me some creative licensing slack here, willya?) I filled my Justice League backpack with books and comics and action figures to get signed. Several actors from Torchwood were on my agenda, as well as actors from The Guild, The Boondock Saints, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Firefly/Serenity. I also brought along hard sought-after bottles of an English cider drink named Strongbow I planned to present to the Welshmen on my list, since one of them expressed a preference for the drink on Twitter.

Most of the celebs were friendly enough. The routine goes like this: usually, you queue up, then when it is your 'turn", the celeb's "handler" takes your money and turns you over to the famous person, who greets you and asks if you want their photo personalized or just signed. Prices now range from $25-$50! Still, I brought plenty of cash to Chicago (they only take cash) and had my debit card when that ran out.

One of the celebs, a TV actor with guest roles on several science fiction series, looked at me after I paid my fee and complained that the line should have already been capped so the actors could leave. (This was well before the close of the show that day.) I actually didn't deplete this person's resources at all, just had her sign a book I brought myself. She was pissy and probably tired, but it permanently colored my perception of her.

Worse, one of the actors I most wanted to meet refused to interact with me at all. While I paid his handler, he turned away and drew graffiti on the poster behind him. The handler took my money and asked my name and then repeated it to the actor, who inscribed his photo and nearly forgot to sign his own name. When I asked if he would also sign a book I brought with me, his handler quickly asked for another $30, which I regretfully paid. After seeing this actor at a panel mention he had CD's for sale, I hurried to his table to get one, where a stack of the things sat with a handmade sign stating that CD's were $10, signed by the band for $20. I decided to get one signed, and the handler asked for $40 -- $10 for the CD, $30 for the signature. Again, like an idiot, I forked over my hard-earned cash. And again, the actor made minimal eye contact, spoke to me not at all and pushed the CD across the table, then turned away.

A friend of mine recently said that it is our support of their filmed projects that earn these people their real paychecks. Unlike the D-listers reliving their glory days, these folks don't depend on this kind of income. My friend rails at spending money for signatures, saying "they" should consider themselves lucky "they" get to meet, or have, fans at all.

I'm not that hardcore. I completely understand paying for a photo or comic if you didn't bring one. I think a more reasonable practice would be to charge something affordable, say a $10-$15 one-time fee, and then limit the number of signatures (i.e., three) for items a fan brings with them. But $25-$50 per signature? Do they really need to make $100 off a schmuck like me? I believe most celebs in current/ongoing promotions have their expenses (airfare, rooms, meals) compensated by the organizers of the convention. Why make so much profit off people who adore them?

In contrast, the comic creators in Artists Alley were delightful to talk to, signed whatever you gave them and genuinely seemed appreciative of the support fans gave their creative efforts. In Chicago, Patrick Gleason, to drop a name, not only signed my Blackest Night books, he was afraid one of his signatures wouldn't stand out enough and signed the book a second time, using a different color marker.

But because of the prices and the attitude, most of the items in my backpack returned to Akron unsigned. I think I'm done getting signatures from "media personalities." I will continue attending conventions, and enjoying my glimpses of the "famous" without directly interacting with them. It makes me sad.

And I will continue to buy and support good, well-written, expertly illustrated comic books. Because the creators of those project still show me they care about my support.

Oh, and I won't be hanging in my dining room the photo of the actor described above. I no longer consider myself a fan. I am, however, selling his action figure on eBay. For cheap.

Summertime Super-Heroes Mach II

2011-08-05T21:18:00.001-04:00

My previous post discussed how the summer's three major comic book movies were similar, conveniently forgetting X-Men First Class, which was AWESOME, but didn't fit my lone-hero theme.

This time around, let's look at how Thor, Green Lantern and Captain America were different. Each had a unique plot, of course, and delved into two different universes, Marvel's (Thor and Cap) and DC's.

The critical reaction to the three films were dramatically different. Rotten Tomatoes currently has Thor rated at 77% on the tomatometer with an 80% audience approval rating. Their snapshot review reads, "A dazzling blockbuster that tempers its sweeping scope with wit, humor, and human drama, Thor is mighty Marvel entertainment."

Captain America: The First Avenger is currently rated 79% on the tomatometer with a 78% audience rating. RT said, "With plenty of pulpy action, a pleasantly retro vibe, and a handful of fine performances, Captain America is solidly old-fashioned blockbuster entertainment."

And then, there is Green Lantern. GL has a 27% tomatometer rating and a 52% audience approval. Ouch. RT said, "Noisy, overproduced, and thinly written, Green Lantern squanders an impressive budget and decades of comics mythology." Double ouch.

By necessity, so much of GL was CGI, that it was easy to overproduce. Personally, I think it was a mistake to focus on the sweeping, universal implications of the Guardians of the Universe and the GL Corps, rather than the wonder of one man being presented with the most powerful tool/weapon in the cosmos. Have Hal Jordan (played by the always-delightful Ryan Reynolds) learn the uses of the ring on his own, stumbling, awkward, Earth-bound and ultimately heroic for the first movie. Then, drag the cosmic stuff in for the sequel. And seriously, another cloud-like, world-destroying villain? Did we learn nothing from the Galactus debacle of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?

Other than the Batman revamp, DC hasn't had much luck with bringing their properties to live action media. Superman Returns was considered by many to be a disappointment. Wonder Woman couldn't make it on NBC. Jonah Hex failed to generate any significant interest.

When Green Lantern failed so spectacularly, some critics hailed it as the end of the super-hero movie genre. But then Captain America came along and knocked Harry Potter 8 off the top of the heap and proved them wrong. The Avengers (aka "Group Hug") starting filming today in Cleveland under Joss Whedon's (my master) direction. I have high hopes for it.

Apparently, there is talk of a GL sequel, despite the disappointing return on investment. I didn't hate the movie. I just hope that next time around, the writers, producers and director can focus on story, not dazzling special effects. Fantastic SFX are de rigeur now (with or without 3-D enhancement). But at the heart of every successful film is a tale to which viewers can relate. Sinestro looks to be the villain for GL2. Let's hope fear can bring audiences back to theaters.

A Tale of Three Heroes

2011-07-30T06:54:00.009-04:00

The Summer of 2011 can easily be called the Summer of the Super-Hero. Audiences got three movies about three heroes starring three hunks based on decades-old comics published by two different companies. There have been scores of reviews of these films, so there seems little reason for me to bother. So, how about a little comparing and contrasting, eh?

If you read my blog, you know I'm a comics geek. I have been reading comics for more than four decades. (Yup, I'm ancient.) I have always read a variety of comics from different publishers; DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, independents, you name it. As a kid, I was drawn to DC comics; Justice League of America, Green Lantern, Legion of Super-heroes, Justice Society, and so forth. When I was in my teens and twenties, I shifted to reading more Marvel books: X-Men, Captain America, Avengers, Invaders, and more. Today, I buy some of each.

So it was with great interest that I awaited the opening of the Big Three summer super-hero movies: Thor, in April, starring Aussie Chris Hemsworth; Green Lantern, in June, starring Canuck Ryan Reynolds and most recently Captain America starring the formerly-fantastic-now-hyper-pumped Chris Evans. First, let's look at how they were similar:

Warning: Abandon hope all ye who wish to avoid spoilers

Similarity: Origin Stories
All three films show how their respective protagonists become heroes, either by birthright (Thor) or by selection (GL and Cap). All three chronicle how lesser beings (Thor is made mortal, Hal Jordan is a cocky pilot, Steve Rogers is a skinny wimp) earn their right to wield power.

Similarity: Romance
Thor meets and woos Jane Foster (a nurse in the comics, an astro-physicist in the movie -- talk about an upgrade!) while Hal woos Carol Ferris (no change from comics) and Cap falls for Peggy Carter (made British in the film). Heroes must be heterosexual, thank Odin!

Similarity: Dual Villains
Every hero needs foe. It seems an unwritten rule that super-hero movies need at least two villains and this batch was no different. Thor faced Loki and the Destroyer. GL fought Hector Hammond and Parallax. Cap faced off (heh) against the Red Skull and Arnim Zola.

Similarity: Sidekicks
Thor got assistance from the Warriors 3.5 (including Sif), while GL confided in Tom Kalmaku (aka Pieface in the comics) and Cap fought alongside an adult Bucky and the Howling Commandos (without Sgt. Fury).

Similarity: Armies
Thor featured the Norse pantheon of gods and goddesses, Green Lantern witnessed the entire alien freaking GL Corps and Cap had the U.S. Army.

Similarity: Father Figures Who Empower the Hero
Thor had Odin; GL had Abin Sur (although Martin Jordan gave him his ability to overcome fear); Cap had Dr. Erskine.

Similarity: Cool Weapons
All three heroes used iconic weapons. Need I elaborate? Okay: Thor - Mjolnir; GL - Power Ring; Cap - Vibranium Shield. Honorable mentions: Casket of Ancient Winters; Yellow, fear-powered ring and cosmic cube.

Similarity: Setting up Sequel after Credits
Thor set up Loki and the cosmic cube as the origin for the Avengers movie. GL had Sinestro looking fondly at that yellow ring the Guardians created. Silly blue dudes! And Captain America: The First Avenger was essentially a prequel to the Avengers movie. (I didn't especially mind this, but I am sorry that there seems to be no room for additional WWII Captain America stories in the film's continuity. No Invaders, despite the cameo of the original Human Torch at the World's Fair. Sigh.)

Similarity: Muscular, Smooth-Chested Hotties
Apparently, super-heroes can't have hairy chests this year (sorry, Wolverine). All three movies have scenes of their hunky leading men shirtless: Thor, out of the shower; GL out of bed (and in his tighty whities on an exam table); Cap out of his rebirth chamber. I don't know if Hemsworth normally has furry pecs, but Reynolds normally sprouts some chest hair and Evans is naturally hirsute, except in these roles. Does chest hair scare kids or something? Sheesh. At least they allowed Thor to have a beard.

Similarity: CGI
World-class special effects are an expected part of the super-hero movie genre. Thor used 'em. GL overdosed on them. Cap used plenty as well.

Next time, I'll discuss how the three films were different, especially their critical and popular reception and box office numbers. Here's a hint: one did well, one did not and one did very well. Can you guess which one critics announced proved that the comic book movie was a dying genre and which other proved them wrong?

Roadside Tale

2011-07-02T15:06:00.004-04:00

12:06
This is a brand new experience for me. I am typing this blog entry on my cell phone, while waiting for a tow truck. The waiting for a wrecker part isn't new. I wish. The blogging from my mobile computing/communications device is. We'll see how it goes.

I was giving my friend Mikey a lift to work this morning. As we pulled out of his driveway, we heard a loud crash, got out of my Explorer and saw the flat. I pulled back into his drive and called AAA while Mike called for another ride. Mike offered to let me wait on his place and lock up, but I insisted I could wait on the porch. Right after he left, Triple-A called and said the tow truck might take two hours. And so I wait and blog...

12:37 Update
The tow truck actually took only about an hour from when I originally called. The driver, a friendly guy whose name I never got, took good care of me. Now I sit at National Tire & Battery, a $300 estimate swimming in my cranium. Again, the guy at the counter here was friendly and personal. He also happens to be the manager, Mike Pharion.

Let's see how the whole affair plays out.

3:06 Update 2
It's just after 3:00 p.m. and I just got home from NTB. Apparently, the sway bar in my front end has been loose for some time and every time I turned, it dug into one of my front tires. I had to have both tires replaced and the sway bar repaired, to the tune of just over $400.

The guys at NTB were awesome. At 1:30, after learning that the repairs would take at least another hour, I went next door to Eat'n Park and had lunch. As I left, I picked up a dozen of their "Smiley" cookies to give to the guys at the garage. Always take care of the people who take care of you, sez I.

I also learned that I need rear brakes and a right-front ball joint replacement. Joy. Oh, and the shocks are on their last legs. Those things will have to wait for another day. For this holiday weekend, I no longer have any disposable income, so I guess I'll just hang out with Jake and chill. There are worse fates.

It's amazing how running into nice, upbeat people can make a dreadful situation seem, well, less dreadful. I'm home, I'm safe and other than being poorer, I'm no worse for the wear. The tow driver from Phil's Towing and Mike from NTB kept me from getting angry or frustrated. I wish every bad situation could resolve like this one.

Blown Away by Next to Normal

2011-06-18T09:30:00.004-04:00

Last night, I watched my second performance of the Broadway musical Next to Normal in as many weeks at Playhouse Square in Cleveland. I was so emotionally blasted by the first performance that when an opportunity popped up to see the show again, I jumped at the chance.

Next to Normal tells the story of a seemingly "normal" family. There's the high-strung mother, Diana, on a quest to be the perfect wife and mother. Her hard-working, long-suffering husband, Dan, is intent on keeping the family functioning and on track. Oldest son, Gabe, is an all-American, almost-eighteen specimen of physical perfection, a bit of a cad but loving to his mother and distanced from his father. Daughter Natalie is a caffeine-addicted musical genius, vying for her parents' attention in the shadow of her perfect brother.

There's just one problem. Diana is mentally ill. After the show's first song, she has an small psychotic episode and Dan hustles her off to the doctor to try new drug regimens. But the drugs and their side effects wear on her and with Gabe's encouragement, she flushes her meds and spends the next several weeks faking normality in the manic phase of her bipolar disorder.

Then, at dinner when Natalie's new boyfriend, Henry, is in attendance, Diana brings out a birthday cake to celebrate her son's ascension to manhood. Alas, Gabe has been dead since he was eighteen months old -- before Natalie was even born. His presence in his mother's life is a delusion. Only she sees and hears him. Only she interacts with him. He exists solely for her.

We learn that her inability to stop grieving for her son has dramatically affected the rest of her life and the lives of her family. When Natalie was born, Diana couldn't even hold her infant daughter. Natalie grew up receiving only the affection her mother could spare from within the delusional love for her perfect son, poignantly voiced in the song "Superboy and the Invisible Girl." Dan spends each day at work wondering when he will get the call that his wife is acting out again in some bizarre way.

Gabe comes to symbolize not only Diana's mental illness, but everything wrong with the family: he tempts Natalie into experimenting with drugs and eventually becomes his father's despair. Color, of the wonderfully innovative staging and of the clothing selected for Gabe, offers up another symbolic clue to his role in the story.

Toward the end of Act One, Diana has been in drug-free therapy with a new doctor but still cannot give up interacting with her deceased son and, led by a tuxedo-clad Gabe, attempts suicide by slashing her wrists. The doctor recommends ECT - Electro-convulsive Therapy. With Dan's encouragement, feeling that this might be their last resort for finding peace, she consents to the procedure.

A small aside before I continue with the story: I have written previously about my relationship with my mother and her struggles with mental illness. Like Diana, she attempted suicide several times -- never with cutting, only with pills. Like Diana, she was given numerous "shock therapy" sessions. But unlike the family in the show, I never had the mitigating presence of a father. I first went to this show completely ignorant of the plot and by the end of Act One, I was crying to the point of weeping. I couldn't stop crying during the intermission. Hell, I'm starting to cry now, just typing this. I told my musical theater buddy, Missie, that they should post a sign in the lobby stating: "If you grew up with a paranoid-schizophrenic mother who attempted suicide, please carry extra tissues. You'll need them."

Anyway, in Act Two Diana undergoes the procedure, Dan tries to hold things together at home and Natalie drags Henry to clubs and makes him watch as she delves deeper into drugs while keeping herself emotionally distant from him. The ECT gives Diana a newfound clarity, but at a cost -- most of her memories of the last 19 years, including all memory of her marriage, her son and daughter, are gone.

Dan tries to lead her through memories of the good times they shared, while carefully avoiding the bad or anything to do with Gabe. He thinks that by carefully editing their history, he can create a better present. Of course, Gabe's djinn won't stay bottled. When he reemerges, Diana flees the family home and seeks counsel from her doctor. The doctor, as they so often do, suggests that a relapse was always a possibility (though never forewarned) and that she should try more ECT combined with more drugs. Diana refuses this option. She has a wonderfully lucid moment of clarity and reconciliation with Natalie, suggesting that while they can never be normal, perhaps they can try for something like it. Natalie agrees that "next to normal" would be good. Diana then encourages her daughter to go to the school dance with Henry.

Another aside: at one point, Natalie expresses to Henry her fears that she might go crazy someday, like her mother. I know that fear. I've lived that fear. My brother and I talk about it from time to time, wondering if the genetic predisposition could still strike us or one of his children. I wept for Natalie and for myself.

At home, Diana packs her things and tells Dan that she needs to try to beat her illness on her own, without his constant support. Left alone, Dan gives into the vision of his son, finally and for the first time saying his name; Gabriel. The show ends with Natalie and Dan forging ahead at home, Natalie doing homework with Henry, Dan surreptitiously asking the doctor how his wife is doing and learning that she is trying and understands the risks. For her part, Diana seems free of Gabe, although his presence is always onstage.

Photo by Ryan Miller/Capture Imaging

The Cast:
Curt Hansen's performance as Gabe was athletic and frenetic in both performances. His movements were sharp, almost superhuman and he managed to convey and eerie blend of loving and menace. He was brilliant. Emma Hunton's Natalie had the perfect blend of innocence and bluster. Asa Sommer's turn as long-suffering Dan was pitch-perfect, both vocally and emotionally.

Last Saturday, the role of Diana was played by the understudy, Pearl Sun. Physically, she seemed a bit young to be a mother of teenagers, but her voice was fantastic and moving.

I admit to feeling a little disappointed because I really wanted to see Alice Ripley in the role she originated. I know Ripley from my other favorite oddball musical, "Side Show." (Last night, I took the score to Side Show and the CD set of the N2N Original Broadway Cast album with me, just in case I got an opportunity to get something signed. I didn't.) I have to admit to being a bit disappointed by Ripley's vocal performance. Her voice was a bit ragged and unlike the smooth, soaring lilt I'm accustomed to hearing. Her acting was flawless and her performance was still stellar, but it sounded like she needed to give her larynx a rest.

Next to Normal is a moving, emotional experience I'd recommend highly to anyone and everyone. If you want to experience the musical theater equivalent of independent cinema, buy a ticket to this show. Bring tissues. Lots of 'em.

It's Sprung

2011-04-23T17:13:00.000-04:00

I took Good Friday off to do some spring cleaning in my Geek Room. I managed to make a dent, but didn't get far enough that I could move to cleaning my bedroom. Today it unexpectedly didn't rain, so I took advantage to the "partly cloudy" to mow the existing grass, put down grass seed and straw and just generally do yard work.

I have to admit that the longer days and generally warmer weather are bolstering my spirits. Now, if I could just get the damn birds to stop eating my grass seed!

Tomorrow is Easter. I no longer have any religious connection to the holiday, but I might have to venture out to get something ham-related...

Dreaming of an Old Friend

2011-03-25T17:14:00.001-04:00

For the last two nights, my dreams have been filled with visions of my old friend Tim Broadhacker. I wake, my thoughts overflowing with memories of our time together, now long past. I wonder what brought him into my dreams? I wonder what his life is like and where he is spending it.

I miss him.

This Makes Me Happy II

2011-02-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

Enough with the whining already! Good things have happened this year, too. I got a raise at work. Unrelated, but I also got asked to head up a high-profile, national project. Also, my new next door neighbor is a good friend of mine. The third series of the Sarah Jane Chronicles finally came out on DVD.

And then, there's this:

Darren Criss is the best thing to happen to Glee, which already had a lot of good things going for it. I fell in love with his version of Teenage Dream.

The Suckage Gets Worse

2011-01-22T07:45:00.000-05:00

After my visit to the ER, the fever never went away. My throat improved a bit, but every day, and worse, every night, I faced either drenching sweats or bone-jarring chills. Then on Wednesday (three days after my ER trip) my left leg started to swell. By Thursday, I was having trouble walking on it. The fever never subsided. My appetite disappeared, although I was constantly thirsty. On Friday, I noticed a rash on my left calf. A week of 100+ degree fevers had me run down and, quite frankly, feeling like I wanted to die. I decided to go to the doctor.

Actually, I haven't had a family physician for years. So, I called a friend who is a nurse and asked for recommendations. I didn't hear back for hours. When he did finally respond, it was with a string of names, but no way to contact them. While I was waiting, I called my brother, who gave me the name, address and phone number of his doctor. That doctor saw me the same day.

When he looked at my throat, he said, "You got a strep in there!" I explained that the hospital did a strep test and it came back negative. He shook his head. When he looked at my leg, even I was surprised. The swelling had increased dramatically -- my left foot was about twice the size of my right. And the rash now encompassed my entire calf, ankle and foot. The doctor told me it was cellulitis, infected skin, probably caused by the strep infection, and he feared there might be a blood clot lurking beneath it. He wanted me admitted to the hospital ASAP.

Before I could check into the hospital, clot or no, I had to do something with Jake. So I drove home, picked him up and dropped him off at the kennel, stopped to get that week's comics and drove to the hospital.

The hospital stay is a blog unto itself, but long story short I was hospitalized for five days of IV antibiotics, a midnight ultrasound that confirmed I did not have a blood clot, a seemingly infinite number of blood draws, tests, pokes and prods. A few friends visited, notably my friend Mike who saved me by stopping at my house and getting my cell phone charger; Kiehl, who drove my truck home for me when I was discharged; my co-workers Ingrid, who saved my sanity by bringing me magazines and puzzle books, and Brian who offered to bring me non-hospital food; Duane and Tim, who hosted the New Years Eve party where I probably caught the strep (not their fault, of course) and my brother.

I was finally released on a Tuesday evening. I stopped on the way home to pick up the numerous prescriptions for oral antibiotics and glucophage. Kiehl and Mike kept me company that first evening, ordering pizza and watching TV with me. Wednesday we had yet another blizzard and I was afraid of hobbling into the office through the ice and snow. My left leg was still swollen and sore. Thursday I went back to work. Friday after work, I picked Jake up at the kennel. I seemed to be on the mend. Seeming ain't believing.

Friday night I started itching. By Saturday morning I had a rash everywhere: the palms of my hands, the inside of my mouth, everywhere. I called my doctor who sent me back to the ER for evaluation. A few hours later, I was admitted again due to an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I've never had a drug reaction in my life. First time for everything, I guess.

Because Jake was at home, I had to arrange a way to get him to the kennel. The AWESOME folks at Alta-Vistah offered to pick him up if someone could let them in the house. My friend Mike agreed to meet them and get that handled. He once again brought me my charger and a stack of comics I had already picked up.

This hospitalization was shorter -- filled with just as many IV's, needles and tests, but only over the course of Saturday, Saturday night and Sunday. I was given different antibiotics, steroids and drugs to help alleviate the itching from the rash. Sunday afternoon I was discharged, though only through the efforts of my valiant nurse. Again I stopped at the pharmacy with prescriptions for new antibiotics, including one that cost $130. Ouch.

I haven't missed any more work and my doctor said yesterday that I am definitely on the mend. Tomorrow is my last day of antibiotics and steroids. The rash is greatly diminished, but still present and still itchy. I've lost 25 lbs.

So, 2011 is still The Year of the Suck But Not-In-A-Good-Way.

So Far, 2011 Sucks

2011-01-03T11:29:00.001-05:00

/engage whine
So, I started the new year with a throat infection. Saturday morning I had a scratchy throat and felt a little achy. By night, the scratchy had been replaced with incredibly sore and achy morphed into shaking chills and a 101 degree fever. I figured it was just the flu and spent most of Sunday hydrating and sleeping. The sore throat progressed to the point that swallowing anything, even water, was painful. And worse, my uvula was swollen, making talking difficult and creating an ongoing gag reflex. Lovely. Still, I hate doctors so much, I figured I could tough it out. I ate nothing all day; it was just too painful.

Sunday night when I tried to sleep, I felt like I was choking. I started to worry that I might have strep throat and I know that's nothing to fool around with. So, a little before midnight I went to the ER at Akron General.

I was woozy during the drive, but when I arrived there was a sign saying they had free valet parking for ER patients. Great! That would save me a walk in the cold. When I pulled up, a security guard told me to park my vehicle myself in the parking deck a block away. So much for that.

I stood at the intake desk for probably 10 minutes before a nurse finally came to take my form. To his credit, he got me into an exam room pretty quickly. Of course, that's when the waiting began.

Long story short, it was a wasted trip. I was diagnosed with uvulitis, probably viral. They gave me a shot of a pain med/anti-inflammatory, but otherwise they did nothing but leave me alone in an exam room for long, long periods of time. They did a throat culture, but I still don't know the results of that. They gave me a prescription for Percocet. Then, they told me to gargle with salt water and stay hydrated. I was already doing that. I was finally discharged at 3:15 a.m.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that my condition wasn't life-threatening. But the ER was almost empty when I arrived and from the silence all around my exam room, I'm guessing it wasn't that busy. This is why I hate doctors. I will now have the pleasure of paying hundreds of dollars for this reminder.
/disengage whine

But hey, if the year starts out really badly, it has to get better, right? Right?

Christmas Card Conundrum Book II

2010-12-30T18:19:00.001-05:00

Impossible as it seems, it was four years ago that I blogged about prioritizing my Christmas card list. This year, I noticed a very different dynamic.

I usually get my cards in the mail early -- most often I finish them the week after Thanksgiving. And then I wait and watch as cards trickle into my mailbox. However, this year, I waited until the second week of December, not entirely certain I was going to send cards at all.

In the first part of December, I received very few cards -- by the 15th, I had two. After I mailed mine, a few days went by with nothing more. Then, allowing for a few days for mine to arrive and response cards to get mailed, I suddenly had a blizzard of cards.

Now, it's possible that most people wait until the last minute to mail their cards. It's much more likely that these folks only send out cards when they receive them. I know, that's a pessimistic viewpoint, perhaps even cynical. Somehow, it feels like the truth.

Now, I freely admit there are a couple of people I don't send cards to unless I receive one from them. These people are more acquaintances, not so much friends. This makes me wonder if that's what I am to the people I consider close friends?

Ironically, there are friends I know never send out Christmas cards and I feel better about them -- at least they're consistent. Most of these contact me other ways during the holidays: a call, an e-mail, a Facebook message, a text.

I wonder what would happen next year if I sent out nothing?

New Year's Eve is tomorrow night. With that in mind, I commit this sentiment to the universe: please keep those I care about safe in the coming year. Let them prosper and love and be loved in return.

This Makes Me Happy

2010-11-28T10:43:00.001-05:00

Surviving Black Friday Drivers

2010-11-27T10:23:00.000-05:00

Black Friday sucks.

Oh, the shopping is hellacious, that's true. I hadn't planned on any early morning shenanigans (or middle-of-the-night shenanigans, this year) but when I awoke at 5:00, I remembered that there were some cheap DVD's on sale at Best Buy I might like to get. So, I dressed and went to my local Yellow Big Box Store and discovered crowds, long lines and no DVD's. So, I went home.

Much later, I needed to run some errands, including a trip to the DMV to get my license tags renewed. As I ran my errands, I couldn't believe the idiocy of drivers in town and on the highways. I have raged about bad drivers before, but this was unusually insane. I couldn't drive a block without seeing lousy driving. All I could do was use my best defensive driving skills to prevent myself from being victimized by the morons.

I saw numerous people make right-hand turns from the left lane, across three lanes of traffic. Ya know the "2-second rule" for safe braking? I lost count of how many times people used that space to cut in front of me or cut me off. I followed one woman (from an increasing distance) who signaled a turn, put on her brakes, and then decided to keep going forward. She did this three times and then finally did make a turn -- without signaling! Incredible. People ran red lights with wild abandon. Insanity.

I get that people are probably sleep-deprived, hyped up on caffeine and anxious to jet to the next sale. Truly, I get that. But, THOSE PEOPLE SHOULD STAY OFF THE FRIGGIN' ROAD!!!

Seriously. 'Nuff said.

Capt. America Movie: Good News/Bad News Edition

2010-11-08T18:28:00.000-05:00

The Good News:
One of my favorite actors, Chris Evans, was signed to star as Steve Rogers aka Captain America. The actor rose to the physical challenge of such an imposing role by stepping up his workouts and vowing to increase his muscle mass.

The Bad News:

Evans shaved his chest for the role. I'm in mourning.

Set Sail Again on the Great Big Sea

2010-10-22T12:45:00.000-04:00

Last night Missie and I went to see our favorite Canadian, Celtic band from Newfoundland: Great Big Sea. I've blogged previously about my love for their upbeat arrangements of new material and traditional songs from Newfoundland. They are, quite simply, one of the best bands on the planet. Who else could pull off an acapella song about the hazards of being chemical mine worker followed by a hard-rocking ballad followed by a sea shanty, followed by a love song?

When I first heard last spring that GBS was going to be featured at the Kent Stage, I was amazed. It seemed like a small venue for them. However, as soon as I learned that tickets were going to be available through the GBS fan club, of which I am a member, I started watching the internet. When Ticket Sales Day arrived, scheduled to start at 11:00 a.m., I was on the webpage, hitting "refresh" at 10:55.

I got center section,row B, seats 1 & 2 on the aisle. I'm not sure who the people in the front row had to blow to get their seats, but I'll get my lips in shape for the next time.

Our seats, considering how little we actually sat in them, were fantastic. The couple in front of us drove up from Columbus, having seen GBS there, in Cincinnati and in Newfoundland. Okay, as fans go, they beat us. But, they were nice and friendly, so it was hard to begrudge them their spots.

The audience seemed largely older, with a sprinkling of younger faces. There were a couple of college-aged cuties in front of us as well. They were so effusive and surrendered so completely to the experience that it was hard to hate them, too. Damn.

The band, was, as always awesome. They played two sets with no opening act. The first set had a few of their standards, but consisted largely of songs from their new album, Safe Upon the Shore. I downloaded several of the songs from this album, but I had been waiting to buy it at the show, figuring more of the money would go directly to the band and less to a distributor. After a brief intermission, the band came back with a set composed largely of hits from previous albums and some playful sing-along Alan instigated of songs from other bands and genres.

Alan seemed genuinely surprised and amused that he could shout out "O-H" and the crowd roared back "I-O!" Alan, with his full beard and patterned shirt, resembled a lumberjack.

Sean, always less emotive, pours his heart into his voice and music. Sean put out a solo album earlier this year and it is a keeper in my collection.

Bob Hallett rounds out the group with his expert musicianship -- I lost count of how many instruments he plays -- and warm vocals. Chris, their drummer this tour, stepped out from his drumkit from time to time (as seen in the photo at the top) and Murray, their bass player, had one of the deepest, sexiest voices I've ever heard.

I picked up the new CD on the way out, intoxicated by the band's music and stage presence. Missie and I agreed we need to make the trip to see the boys in their native environ, Newfoundland. Not, however, in winter.

A Very Special Boss's Day Episode

2010-10-17T19:29:00.001-04:00

I seldom cross-post what I put on Facebook, but I wanted to capture this event for posterity. Friday, I walked into work and halfway down the isle to my little acre of the Cube Farm, I saw my cubicle decorated in streamers and balloons. "Uh oh," I thought. "My staff got some bad information and think today is my birthday. What do I do? Do I pretend it is and next month quietly let my real birthday slide by?

I shouldn't have worried. The blue, aqua and green decorations were to celebrate Boss's Day, a 'holiday" that had stealthily approached, leaving me completely unaware. "Wow!' I exclaimed upon entering my cube. In addition to the decorations, my staff has also left a sign, taped to one of my monitors:

eliciting another "Wow!" and left a card (third "Wow.") and what appeared to be a lovely plant in a vase (fourth "Wow!"). The ribbon tied around the neck of the vase matched the streamers and was tied like a man's necktie. The stones in the bottom of the vase also reflected hues of greens and blues. Then, came the final and loudest "WOW!" when I realized the vase also doubled as a fishbowl for a Siamese (also called Japanese) Fighting Fish aka a Betta.

I was moved almost to tears. Almost.

I named the fish "Dood."

I said it on Facebook and I'll say it again here: my staff rocks!

Some Days Are Better Than Others

2010-09-04T13:51:00.000-04:00

This morning, I pulled this out of the mailbox:

It's a letter from the V.P. of my employer, praising my work on a project and thanking me for assistance.

Good day.

Musical Dreams and Other Musings

2010-08-02T06:41:00.001-04:00

Last night I dreamed I created sentient music. There were four songs, actually the choruses of four songs, that gained sentience and became alive. They propagated by infecting the minds of their listeners, who got the tunes "stuck in their heads" and whistled and hummed the living music in the presence of others, thus spreading the music further. The music was beautiful and benign.

I watched The Matrix again last night. The movie still holds up. I was once again struck by the hairy-chested redhead, Choi, who buys software from hacker Neo and, with his "white rabbit" girlfriend, take Neo to the club where he meets Trinity.

The actor who portrayed Choi was credited as Marc Gray but according to imdb, that is a pseudonym for Marc Aden who apparently also goes by the combined name of Marc Aden Gray. (Dude, how can I cyber-stalk you if you don't stick with one name? Sheesh.) Gray is a major hottie, and I'm not really into redheads. Alas, I can't find any decent photos of him, sitting back in the club baring his chest and having one of his companions light his cigarette for him. Here's the best I could do:

Note: doing a Google Image serach on Marc Aden brings up photos of gay pornstar Aden Jaric. Interesting...

In self-destructive news, Saturday I threw my back out lifting/dumping the grass catcher bag from my lawn mower. Also, I seem to have pinkeye. And tomorrow I leave on a business trip to New York and Connecticut. Huzzah.

Hot Avengers at Comic-Con

2010-07-25T09:44:00.000-04:00

It's too hot and humid to blog. So instead, I offer this edited photo of Chris Hemsworth with his arm around Chris Evans from the Avengers panel at Comic-Con. When I saw it, I had two immediate thoughts:

1.) Hemsworth is TALL!
2.) This photo guarantees my purchase of at least three movie tickets: Thor, Captain America and Avengers. Yowsa.

Actually, there were other, naughtier thoughts, but I'll leave those to your imagination. I'll be in my bunk.

Edit: Just saw this and had to add it:

Speechless.

Akila Update

2010-07-17T11:21:00.000-04:00

Akila is gone.

Last Saturday, I was spending time on the patio, petting Akila and playing fetch with Jake. When Jake and I went into the yard to play ball, Akila could see us through a gap in the hurricane fence. The poor creature was so anxious to join us, she head-butted a loose board until she moved it enough to slip into our yard.

Although surprised (and unhappy, in Jake's case), we all just continued playing fetch. For a dog who never had any training, Akila understood the concept innately, getting the ball and bringing it back to me, if not giving it up very readily. She was incredibly hyper - jumping on me and racing around the yard in circles, particularly if Jake happened to get the ball. It was typical puppy behavior, but magnified to the Nth degree.

After about a half-hour, I decided she needed to go home, so I tossed a puppy biscuit through the opening in the fence and replaced the board, smacking it into place with my hand. I kept tabs on her the remainder of the weekend, but did nothing to encourage more visits.

The following Monday, I was getting dressed for work and had just let Jake out prior to leaving. A flurry of activity caught my attention. Akila had moved the same loose board and was in the yard, racing around Jake.

Unlike my neighbor, my yard has a vinyl fence on one side with spaces big enough to easily permit Akila to pass through. I couldn't leave her in my yard and hope that the neighbor would notice her absence and come do something about it. With a sigh, I went out to corral the large puppy and send her back to her own yard. She was so excited to see me, she jumped and lunged, tearing my clean shirt and nearly yanking down my shorts. The poor thing was just so attention-starved! Still, she had to go home. The cookie toss didn't work this time, so I had to physically push her through the fence. Then, at 6:45 a.m., I pounded fresh nails in the fence to keep her there and keep her safe. I hoped.

After a quick shirt change, the rest of the day went as usual; I took Jake to daycare; I went to work. Eight hours later, I picked him up and we came home. I immediately went out to the patio see Akila. She was gone. No sign, no whimper, no Akila. I got on a ladder and peered into my neighbor's yard to make sure she wasn't lying sick or injured. Nothing. All Monday evening, I waited for the neighbors to come home so I could ask. I finally gave up around 11:00 p.m. I heard them come home as I was dozing off to sleep.

And so, I have no idea. My neighbors are never home to ask. I can only hope they found a good home for her and not some shelter or worse, the local dog pound. I have checked all those institutions' websites for some sign of her, to no avail.

Wherever you are, little dog, be happy and healthy! I'm so sorry your formative months were absent of love and nurturing, discipline and instruction. Have a good life.

The Sad Tale/Tail of Akila Through-the-Slats

2010-06-20T20:18:00.001-04:00

My next door neighbors, that is, the married couple with children who live on the other side of my duplex (or is it twinplex? I can never remember) recently adopted a dog. They named the female black lab Akila -- my best guess at the spelling. It might just as easily be Akeela. As far as I can tell, they adopted the pup for the exclusive purpose of leaving it alone in the backyard all the time.

I wish I was exaggerating. Before they adopted the dog, it seemed like they were always home. My neighbor is a baptist minister who also manages a Chik-fil-a restaurant. His wife stays at home with their two small children and newborn baby. When they first moved in last Fall, it seemed like he was always at work and she was always home. The kids never play outside, but I could hear them tearing through the apartment hitting walls and ceilings, as kids are wont to do.

Once Akila (dammit, that's the spelling I'm going with!) entered the picture, they suddenly became absent tenants. Weekday evenings, Akila is outside until I go to bed and outside again (still?) when I leave for work in the morning. No one is ever outside playing with her, training her or keeping her company. Weekends are even worse because her family (her pack) is never home -- and so forlorn Akila fends for herself, chewing on whatever she can find, occasionally howling her loneliness or whimpering in despair. It kills me. I can only hope they are giving her enough water during these hot sunny days and getting her inoculated against the mosquitoes I know are the bane of her existence.

So, I try to visit with her as much as I can, through the slatted fence that separates our patios. I sneak her treats, which I share with Jake, of course. I talk to her for hours and let her chew on my fingers. In the weeks since we began our clandestine relationship, she has learned how to get atop the table they have pushed up against the fence, so when I sit at my table, Akila is at eye level with me. In the evening, when the bugs chase me indoors, I leave the patio light on, hoping it attracts some of them away from the poor beast next door. This afternoon, I spent several hours on the patio, reading and listening to NPR on the radio. Akila intermittently napped with her back up against her side of the patio fence while Jake slept at my feet, his back to our side of that same fence. Akila would nap for short spells, then start playing and pawing at me either through the slats out from beneath the fence, wanting to play. At least once, she barked a happy bark and startled the crap out of Jake.

For his part, Jake isn't certain what to make of the situation at all. He definitely does not like me feeding or playing with another dog and often insinuates himself between Akila and I. I asked my neighbor if I could "borrow" Akila one afternoon for a playdate with Jake and he was unimpressed with Akila's energy and boundless enthusiasm. I find those same qualities absolutely charming.

But I worry, knowing it's really none of my business. I cannot fathom why someone would bring a creature into their life and then shun them and consign them to solitude. They clearly aren't starving the pup or denying it water, but they are failing to give it the things a juvenile dog craves: affection, attention, direction and discipline. I sense that Akila has the makings of a terrific companion, but she may never get the chance to develop into one.

Poor Akila.

Save (NOT Shave) the Chests!

2010-05-27T07:05:00.000-04:00

Watching the LOST finale recently, it occurred to me that an important character from the first season of the show was conspicuous by his absence. Not Michael. Nope, not Walt. Not Artz or that guy who got sucked into the engine.

No, missing was Jack's hairy chest. It was featured prominently in the first season, beginning with the pilot. More recent episodes, particularly the flash-sideways, revealed the bald truth: Matthew Fox started shaving his chest. The hairy chest was dead. So why wasn't it in the church?

I get it. As performers age and their chest hair turns gray, they shave to hold onto that last shred of their youth. I'm looking at you, Tim McGraw. And you, Jeremy Piven -- I know all about your waxing as well.

Ron Jeremy, he who rocks the Hedgehog look, realized that his chest hair was an integral part of his appeal. Okay, possibly the entirety of his appeal. So he gets it dyed. He did so famously on The Surreal Life. Pubic hair is notoriously difficult to color, but he takes the time and makes the effort.

I get it. That kind of effort might be considered an exercise in vanity. While shaving or waxing or Nairing seems like the path of least resistance, I maintain that it requires even greater effort and maintenance and achieves the same vanity-enhancing goal. Cue Carly Simon.

On the other hand, Patrick "The Artist Formerly Known as Puddy" Warburton just shows off the gray fur at any opportunity. He revels in his physical maturity and Gods love him, sez I.

Now, Carmen Electra has joined with Norelco in promoting the unnecessary deforestation of hairy chests.

This woman must be stopped!

Dean Lennox Kelly Redux

2010-04-25T13:27:00.001-04:00

Sometimes a banana is just a really hairy-chested banana.

Meeting Russel Tovey last month at Megacon stoked my interest in watching the BBC series Being Human from the beginning. Into the second episode of the first series, I spotted a familiar face and chest. Lo and behold, the hairy Mr. Dean Lennox Kelly graced my screen as Tully the werewolf. Talk about perfect casting!

Waaaay back in 2007, I called Kelly the "sexiest Shakespeare yet."

In Being Human, Tully is the werewolf who inflicted lycanthropy on Tovey's pitiable George. George doesn't know this fact as Tully mentors him and teaches him how to make the most out of his "condition." I have to say, the scene where Tully embraces George piqued more than my interest. The werewolf thing seemed less like a curse for those few seconds. The final scene of that episode, wherein Tully awakens naked in the woods, left me speechless.

So once again, I endorse Dean Lennox Kelly as the Sexiest Shakespearean Shape Shifter ever!

Oh, and Being Human has lots of scenes of Russel Tovey in his birthday suit. FTW.

Spring Has Sprung (Not Original, But True)

2010-04-20T17:54:00.000-04:00

It's official. Spring is here. It must be -- I just finished mowing my lawn.

The apple tree in my yard is in full bloom:

In many ways, it's an odd time for Yours Truly. Work is busy and that's good. The days are warm; the nights are cool-to-cold, and that's fine. But friends continue to challenge my trust. And the relationship I thought had potential turned out to be just another extended liaison.

Speaking of friends, the economy still isn't being kind to mine. Michael, a seasoned architecture designer, is now working as a waiter. Tim, an IT network specialist, is going to school to become a truck driver. Recovery, wherefore art thou?

But hey, Glee is back; so it can't be too bad!

Megacon 2010: Tovey or Not Tovey?

2010-03-15T21:26:00.000-04:00

I just got back from MegaCon in Orlando, and boy are my arms tired!

Ugh. I can't even get an old standard right, that's how tired I am. This is my second Mega, a trip that combines the opportunity to see the comic/media convention, hang with friends from the ViewAskew web board ("Boardies") and mine my choice of theme parks from Orlando's rich vein of expensive madness.

MegaCon had several allures for me this year. The show always has a good selection of vendors, although the Big Comic Book Companies ignore anything smaller than San Diego's insanity. This year, the media guest list leaned heavily toward the Star Trek actors: Brent ("Data/Lore") Spiner, John ("Q") de Lancie, Robert ("EMH Doctor") Picardo, Levar ("Geordi Laforge") Burton and this lovely lady:

(The inscription, in metallic gold ink, reads: Tim - Blessings & Love, Nichelle Nichols.)

Guests also included Star Wars actors, like Billy Dee Williams, Ray Park and Jeremy Bulloch. Farscape's Virginia ("Zhaan") Hey was also a guest I looked forward to meeting. (Ironically, when I approached her, she completely ignored me and continued talking to someone at her table. After a few minutes of standing there uncomfortably, I walked away. Feh.)

But the guest I most wanted to meet was Brit actor Russel Tovey, Midshipman Alonso Frame in two episodes of Doctor Who and werewolf George Sands in Being Human.

I met Russel first on Saturday and found him to be a warm, friendly young man who seemed unfazed by all the convention weirdness going on around him, including the Mooby outfits my group was wearing. When I went back to the con on Sunday, I walked past the signing area several times and saw no one approaching Russel. Several times, I noticed all the other booths doing brisk business while Russel and his handler (his Father?) sat chatting alone at their table. One of the con vendors had a headshot of Russel as Alonso, so I bought it and chatted Russel up a bit while he signed. He liked the headshot and seemed ever warmer and more engaging that the previous day. I may have swooned, just a bit.

Of course, the weekend also featured lots of time with friends I get to see infrequently, chatting, playing Circle of Death, playing (or in my case, mostly watching others play) Rock Band and just generally goofing off. I shared a room at our townhouse (one of two "quiet" houses) with my friend Bill, who brought his iPod to drown out my snoring, Gods love him. Also in our house: James, who spent the weekend acting as our chauffeur (for which he will always have my gratitude,) Drena and Christina who counteracted all our testosterone.

I also got to break out my largely-unused cooking skills. We had a potluck dinner at the other quiet house Friday evening. I cooked a pot roast, with potatoes, onions and carrots. It was a big hit. I also made breakfast casserole Sunday morning for my housemates.

Speaking of cooking, whenever you throw together this many disparate people 24/7 for several days, you have a recipe for drama. There was some of that. It's inevitable. But, I love all those people, so no amount of drama was going to spoil my time with them.

I'll post some photos of them wonderful folks after I get some rest and convince Jake that I'm not leaving him again.

Oh, and if you ever get a chance to meet Russel Tovey -- take it. He's a good bloke.

In Xanadu did Kula Khan...

2010-03-08T22:30:00.001-05:00

... a stately pleasure-dome decree.

Friday I went to see the stage musical Xanadu in Cleveland. Interesting, in a campy, over-the-top way. I think my friend Missie found it a little too camp, what with the drag queen muses and 80's short-shorts. Personally, I believe it can never be too over the top. I enjoyed all the little theater in-jokes and faux Aussie accents. Plus, the leads were nice to look at, the songs were familiar and it was all done in one act. Ninety minutes, in and out and back to Bricco for martinis. Twas a pity the actors didn't show up at the restaurant as the cast from In the Heights had just a few weeks earlier. I think the Xanadu folks would have been fun to meet.

When you live in a cold climate, the least little bit of warmth, the tiniest drop of sunshine makes you all crazy. It was that kind of weekend. Days in the high 40's/low 50's and nights in the teens. Freeze. Thaw. Rinse. Repeat.

Saturday I dallied with a couple of my regulars. That's always fun. Sunday I had brunch with my friend Sara at the restaurant where my other friend Michael is waiting tables. It was so warm, I washed my Explorer and saw up close what all the salt was doing to it. Keep in mind, the poor beast is 13 years old already.

In a couple of days I leave for Orlando and an extra-long weekend with VA Boardies. I can't wait! Megacon and Disney, here I come!

Shmebruary Mach II

2010-02-27T15:48:00.000-05:00

Another snowy weekend. Thursday, snow. Yesterday, more snow. Today, still more snow.

And today I broke my snow shovel.

It wasn't one of those cheap, plastic, one-step-up-from-a-child's shovels, either. This was tube steel and sheet metal and a padded handle, angled to avoid back injury. And this winter killed it.

I'm screwed. And not in a good way.

That was last weekend...

February Shmebruary

2010-02-14T21:57:00.000-05:00

So, what's the second month of 2010 brought yours truly?

Snow.

Inches and inches of the stuff. Feet, even. One snowstorm after another. Some days, I've had to shovel my driveway three or four times. My back is killing me.

Today is St. Valentine's Day. Yipee. It's also Chinese New Year, the year of the tiger. Tuesday is Fat Tuesday -- so at least there's Pączki to look forward to.

My apothecary is coming along nicely. I'm in no hurry and finding small jars for holding my herbs by visiting second-hand shops and charity stores is kind of fun. The variety of shapes and sizes and styles makes me happy. So, there's that.

Back to work tomorrow. And guess what? It's supposed to snow! Huzzah.

Excuse me, while I stomp off, grumbling...

Spenser Silenced: Robert B. Parker Dies

2010-01-23T20:21:00.000-05:00

I mourn the passing of a personal hero.

As reported by NPR, Robert B. Parker, author of 37 crime novels starring private detective Spenser, passed away last week in his Cambridge, MA home on January 18. He was 77. His Spenser novels were the inspiration for the Spenser: For Hire television series and movies, starring the late Robert Urich. The TV movies were direct adaptations from Parker's novels.

I discovered the Spenser novels in my late 20's. I borrowed my first, Promised Land, from my local public library and was immediately entranced with the smart, wise-cracking toughguy detective with a heart of gold. I hurriedly read the series' previous books at the time in chronological order: The Godwulf Manuscript, God Save the Child and Mortal Stakes, devouring each in a matter of days. From that point on, I was hooked, buying each as soon as they were released.

Parker wrote other books: the Jesse Stone novels, the Sunny Randall series and Perchance to Dream, a sequel to Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep, among others. His books were always lovingly devoted to his beloved wife Joan. Of his more than 50 books, I own 38 in hardcover and others in audio and paperback. I own a few in all three media. And while I found the TV series disappointing (despite my enamoration of Urich) I also own the collection of TV movies on DVD. I count two of his books among my most prized possessions: an old, book club edition of his first novel, the afore-mentioned Godwulf Manuscript that I picked up at Goodwill for a dollar and a signed first edition of his 1981 Spenser novel, A Savage Place that I bought at a local bookseller for a bit more.

I freely admit that Spenser was my favorite of his characters. His relationships with Hawk, Susan Silverman, Paul Giacomin and the many and varied dogs named Pearl, felt so real to me. After so many years of inviting them into my mind through the doorways of my eyes, their lives mattered.

Most importantly, I always closed a Parker novel feeling smarter than when I opened it. I envied his writing style with its believable dialogue and witty narrative. Parker created three dimensional minority characters and non-stereotypical gay characters long before it was fashionable to do so.

Rest in Peace, Robert B. Parker. Thank you for so many moments of delight over the last thirty years.

“Sleep after toil, port after stormy seas,
Ease after war, death after life does greatly please”
-Edmund Spenser, 1552-1599

What's with All the Glitter Anyway?

2010-01-10T15:27:00.000-05:00

I've been dosed with glitter.

I started cleaning up my Christmas decorations, taking down Christmas cards and just generally starting to get my life back to pre-December "normal." This is a lengthy process, as it involves loading large containers into my Explorer, driving them to a storage unit and stacking them precariously. With the constant snow and bitter cold, I'm in no hurry to get it done. The wreath is off my front door, so as far as the outside world is concerned, I'm temporally accurate. If only they knew.

In the process of putting away the gifts I received and taking the cards off my coat closet door, I seem to have released a plague of glitter. Everywhere I look I see little glimmers of the shiny shrapnel. It is lodged in my carpet, on my sofa cushions, in my dog's fur, in my clothing; hell once in a while, I find a speck on my skin. I believe a portion of it has become airborne, has escaped the heater filter and is probably lodging itself in the lining of my lungs even as I respirate and type. If I come down with some exotic form of gliterthelioma, I'm gonna be pissed.

Everything I bought or was given this year seems to have been covered in glitter. Everything. I'm not even sure what it is. Oh sure, Wikipedia says it is, "an assortment of very small (roughly 1 mm²) pieces of paper, glass or plastic painted in metallic, neon and iridescent colors to reflect light in a sparkling spectrum." That sounds fairly benign, right?

Don't believe it. Here's my theory: remember all those nukes that went missing during the fall of the U.S.S.R.? I think they ended up in China, where they were ground into teeny, tiny bits of ever-so-slightly radioactive glitter that the Chinese use to "decorate" all the cheap holiday crap they sell us. It's a long-term, insidious plot to sterilize the rest of the world.

I showed 'em! I have no intention of breeding DESPITE the accursed glitter-plague!

(Blogger Note: This is a joke. I'm not a paranoid schizophrenic nor do I have anything against the Peoples Republic of China. Rush Limbaugh, please don't quote me.)

And now for something completely different: I keep hearing that the Economic Recovery is upon us and we should rejoice and start spending frivolously again. This week, two more of my friends lost their jobs. Hey, Economic Recovery! Ya wanna hustle it up a bit here?

Whatever Happened to November?

2009-12-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

An entire month slipped by without a blog posting. Sorry about that. Who am I kidding -- almost no one reads this. It is primarily an exercise in cyber-vanity. But then, aren't most blogs?

The new job is going well. I still love the company and most of the people. I got excellent scores on my "Search and Add" QA audits and am learning a lot about medical billing.

In addition to working, November also saw me:
* Turn another year older. Ugh.
* Become a great-uncle. My nephew Josh has a son, James Randall.
* Buy a '96 Explorer XLT to replace my soon-to-end leased Fusion.
* Have a lovely Thanksgiving meal with friends Kiehl, Doug and Randy.
* Attempt my first Black Friday shopping spree in many years. I got a new TV and a blu-ray player. I'm still not sure it was worth getting up at 3:00 a.m. to go to Wal-Mart (I know, I'm ashamed) and then stand in line for 1.5 hours.

We've had our first real snow -- on the afore-mentioned Black Friday. When I exited Wal-Mart at 7:20 or so the sky was filled with huge, pan-sized snowflakes and almost every car in the full parking lot was covered. Nothing stuck to the ground and all evidence of the celestial fallout was erased in a few hours. But it's only a matter of time now. Winter will be here soon.

Speaking of celestial events, December offers a rare one: a second full moon on the 31st, the "blue moon" of legend. This should provide a unique opportunity to charge any magickal implements with moonlight. I wonder if I should forgo my New Year's Eve plans to take advantage of it?

One Chapter Closes and Another Begins

2009-10-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

I'm employed again.

Really, gainfully, full-timely employed.

After the third interview with AMR which included giving a 15-minute presentation on "How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich," I waited over a week, knowing that hiring for the Training Supervisor position was down to two people. I had talked myself out of the job after the first several days so that when the HR Manager finally called me to offer me the position, I said, "Wait... can you say that again?"

But it was true, she was offering me the position. I was thrilled. I still am.

Now I need to focus some positive energy on gainful employment for my still-unemployed friends. Papa Tim has been unemployed since just after last Thanksgiving and Mike has been laid off since February. Hear me, Universe! Grant these men good-paying jobs with benefits and whatever security can be found in these uncertain times.

Here's a little something from Hallmark's Shoebox website that really tickled me this week:

Rainy Days & Mondays Always Make Me Blog

2009-09-28T09:06:00.000-04:00

Well, not always. Sheesh, almost the entire month of September has whizzed by without a posting. In that month, I...
* Delivered a bunch of training (for which I still haven't been paid)
* Went back to SGS to volunteer for Family Fun Day, an annual fund-raiser to benefit Making Strides Against Breast Cancer
* Had two interviews with American Medical Response (AMR) for a Training Supervisor position
* Learned my next-door neighbor/landlord is moving out, so I'll have a new neighbor for the first time in 15 years
* Had a visit from my friends Tammy & JR

Oh yeah, I also got this:

My friends Lori and Charm got me this at Sheila's Tattoos as an early birthday gift. I created the design years ago and just never found the money or opportunity or artist I trusted to execute it. I have to admit, I'm thrilled with the result. Or I will be, when it gets over the tender/scabby stage.

But on this rainy Monday, I'm experiencing some disappointment in, well, people. It started with my neighbor, Sandy. The disappointment lies not so much with the moving thing. She has this ugly/cute, 5-year old female dog named Maggie. Maggie is 100% people-oriented. She has been raised around my neighbor, a middle-aged woman, and her two grandsons. Maggie has never been socialized around other dogs. As a result, she lives for human contact. Apparently, my neighbor can't take Maggie with her to live with her daughter's family. Maggie is being shuffled away to live with a nephew. Not so bad, right? Except that for weeks now, Maggie has been living alone next door in a dark, empty house. My neighbor comes once a day and lets her out. ONCE A DAY! When I learned this, I volunteered to take care of Maggie until the nephew can take her in. And so, for a couple of weeks, I would go next door 3-4 times per day, let the poor thing out (could you hold it for 24 hours or more?) feed her and generally spend some time with her. The poor dog just sits beside me, leaning against my leg and looking up into my eyes. I tried bringing Jake over for a "playdate" but Maggie had no idea what to do with another dog and Jake found her disinterest boring and proceeded to explore the yard. Maggie will play with me, however. Saturday, my neighbor came home while I was feeding Maggie and asked me to return her key, saying she would take Maggie to the nephew the following day, Sunday. Twenty-four hours later (ugh!) she returned and I thought that was the end of the story. Alas, Maggie is still next door and I can't do anything to help her. It is literally making me heartsick to think of that poor, sweet dog locked up in that dark house alone!

The disappointment also extends to a couple of friends who have made major changes in their lives that I learned about well after-the-fact. Are my friends required to inform me about life-altering situations that have nothing to do with me? Of course not -- don't be silly! But sharing those kinds of changes is part-and-parcel of building and maintaining friendships. Learning those things months later or from other people makes me doubt the validity of our friendships -- relationships I never had reason to question previously.

I'm disappointed that basic human decency seems to have been eliminated from the hiring process these days. I wish I could list all the employers who interview and interrogate, then don't have the decency to contact you to let you know the results of their hiring process. Of course, that number is vastly exceeded by number of employers who simply don't acknowledge receiving/processing your application or resume at all. Sigh. Anyway, I got a call from AMR for a third interview next week, so I may get to leave the wonderful world of semi-employment behind soon. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hopefully, someone will come along soon and restore my faith in humanity. Just in case, I wonder if there are any hermits looking to turnaround their cave-dwellings?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

2009-08-13T22:35:00.000-04:00

...Tonto, disguised as a doorknob, came off in the Lone Ranger's hand.

...unaware The Lone Ranger was disguised as a pool table, Tonto racked his balls.

...The Lone Ranger is disguised as a wall. Tonto comes in and plasters his crack.

...know any more?

Chicago Comic-Con Recap

2009-08-09T20:18:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, thanks to my friends Tammy and JR, I attended all 3.5 days of Wizard World Chicago, now renamed Chicago Comic-Con. Like most conventions these days, it featured plenty of dealers, costumes, celebrities and panels. What it didn't have was booths by any of the major comic companies. Apparently, DC, Marvel, Dark Horse et al have jumped ship to the upcoming Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo (or "C2E2") at McCormick Place next April.

One of the companies that did have a booth, Top Shelf Productions, turned me on to a fantastic new book: The Surrogates. My curiosity was primarily piqued because the book has been made into a movie starring Bruce Willis. There were posters for the movie all over town. I bought the TPB of the original 5-issue series and fell in love with the smart writing. Writer Robert Venditti signed my copy and chatted for a few minutes. If the movie does justice to the book, it will be a must-see.

Some other highlights:

Erin Gray, aka Wilma Deering of Buck Rogers TV fame is still smokin' hot. And speaking of Buck, the man himself, Gil Gerard, is looking mighty fine again -- a big change from when I originally met him at the same con back in 2003.

Among the celebs there for paid autograph/photo opportunities, several tempted my wallet: Luke Goss, he of Hellboy II fame, Andre Arlovski, former UFC champ, Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight, and Emma "Anyka" Caulfield. I didn't pay for any of them, but I did attend Emma's Q&A. She is co-creating a new online comic called "Contropussy."

I literally walked into Edward James Olmos, Adama himself. I smiled and apologized, he smiled patted my arm and walked on. Awesome.

I brought my copies of Legion of Three Worlds #1 in the hopes of getting them signed by artist George Pérez. No such luck. He was swarmed every time I tried.

On Saturday, I dressed in full Mooby Funployee regalia and had, like, 50 photos taken. I also managed to plug most of the holes in my comic collection.

The con was fun, but I enjoyed hanging with Tammy and JR even more. Good food, good times, great weekend!

How I Spent My Summer "Vacation"

2009-07-16T09:35:00.000-04:00

I drove for just over 30 hours.

Okay, I did a bit more than that. You see, my friend Tim Hamblen was moving from the Chicago area to an Atlanta suburb. He had plenty of help at the origination point, where he had lived for years and developed plenty of friendships. But he knew almost no one in Atlanta. So, I volunteered my assistance and corralled our friends Kiehl and Mike. Tim, like Mike and me, is currently unemployed (thanks, U.S. economy!) but offered to help get us there by plane, train or whatever.

Kiehl offered up his car for the trip, if we "made a stop on the way" to visit his foster mother in North Carolina. Get our your atlas, if you have to, kiddies. Havelock, N.C. is in no way, shape or form "on the way" from Akron, OH to Atlanta, GA. Kiehl hates to drive and agreed to pay gas to Havelock (home of Cherry Point Marine Corp Air Station) if I would do the bulk of the driving.

Here's where things get a bit sticky. Kiehl wanted to extend our trip from four days to eight. For me, that meant paying double what I planned to put Jake in the kennel. I tried to dissuade him or at least shorten the trip, but he hadn't visited his "Mom" in years and really wanted to have a few days with her. (He just really didn't want to drive.)

Finally, I agreed and we set off for North Carolina. The drive to Havelock would take just over 11 hours. The drive from Havelock to Atlanta was another 8 hours. And then, the drive from Atlanta back home was about 11.5 hours.

I could make a long story boring with lots of details of the trip in Kiehl's car with no air conditioning in 100+ degree weather, but you get the idea. Not fun. And Kiehl not only disliked driving, he flat out refused to give me a break, other than gas/food stops. Live and learn. Fortunately, I really enjoy driving.

Kiehl's "Mom" was a gracious hostess, although her boyfriend, Bud, was a bit on the odd side. We spent the majority of our time here:

on Atlantic Beach, which is actually closer to Morehead City than Havelock. The ocean was cool and inviting and off-duty Marines frolicked in the waves every day.

I have always been hesitant to do more than wade in the ocean. I think the film Jaws did real psychological damage to me as a youngster. My first few days on Atlantic Beach did nothing to assuage that inner panic. The first day, Kiehl and I went for a nice, long walk down the beach, ankle-deep in saltwater. About a half-mile away from the public beach, we watched as a couple of fishermen hauled in a big catch. Their prize? A hammerhead shark. Not a big one, by any means, but a man-biter nonetheless. No swimming for Timmy that day.

The second day we went early in the morning to collect the best shells. Just a few dozen feet away from the public beach, I spotted what looked like a purple condom, left by the tide and rapidly drying out on the sand. As I watched, part of the condom moved. Yes, it was a jellyfish and the beach was littered with them. No swimming for moi that day, either.

Finally, on the third day I came upon the realization that hundreds of people were swimming all around me and no one was dying horribly. So I went in. And I loved it. Playing in the waves, being beaten by the surf, tasting the salt water -- all of it was a primal delight. And I survived. I didn't hesitate to brave the ocean for the rest of our time in North Carolina.

Aside: the seafood in and around that area was divine! At the recommendation of Kiehl's mom, we went to the oddly-named Sanitary Restaurant and Fish Market in Morehead City and had what was easily of one the best cooked seafood meals of my life.

The drive between Havelock and Atlanta was uneventful. Hot, but uneventful.

Finally, we arrived at Tim's new house in the Atlanta suburb of Lithonia. I knew we had a problem as soon as we pulled up to the house. The house sat well off the road, down a steep grade. The driveway wasn't all the long, but it was at a 45 degree angle. Power and communication lines were strung over the driveway, making it impossible for anything particularly tall to go down the drive. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad? Maybe the professionally-hired driver could back down the steep grade?

Alas, no. Tim hadn't hired a moving van or a truck. He had hired a tractor-trailer and packed it COMPLETELY full of furniture and household belongings, each of which would have to be carried down the steep driveway from the street, with another trip up the drive to fetch the next load or item in 100 degree temperatures (hotter inside the truck.)

"We're fragged," I told Kiehl.

And yet, we managed. The driver Tim hired was immeasurably helpful and between Tim, his S.O. Danny, Kiehl and I, we unloaded the trailer successfully and no one was permanently damaged. Even with my dodgy back, I managed to work and sweat as hard as anyone and get the job done. And Tim was good as his word, giving Kiehl a check for gas and me a check to help defray the cost of Jake's kennel bill.

After unloading and moving some of their belongings into the house, it was time for Kiehl and I to drive home. This drive was the worst. With no air conditioning, we had to drive with the windows down, which was incredibly noisy. At one point, something flew into my eye, making it tear up and snap shut while driving at highway speeds (70MPH legally, of course.) Despite being a nurse, Kiehl offered no assistance, seemed completely unconcerned by my cries of pain or our weaving on the road and still refused to do any of the driving. As I said before: lesson learned.

We made it home in one piece, separated our belongings and went our ways. I picked Jake up at the kennel and returned to my life. And all was right with the world.

So, what did I do for my summer vacation? I drove... a lot. I swam in the ocean and walked the beach and admired toned bodies glistening in the sand. I worked my ass off until my clothes were so heavy with dried sweat and bodysalt that I had to put them in a sealed plastic bag. I slept the exhausted, satisfied sleep of someone who had genuinely accomplished something. All-in-all, not a bad way to spend a few days.

Note to self: no more long roadtrips with Kiehl. And what, you might ask, happened to Mike? He arrived a few days after the heavy moving was finished and helped with painting and cleaning. Lucky sod.

If It Sounds Too Good to be True...

2009-06-06T01:39:00.001-04:00

It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day.

Yesterday, I responded to an ad I found on Monster.com which had been placed with our local newspaper, the Akron Beacon Journal. The ad was looking for a Customer Service Manager, no relocation required. The ad was placed confidentially, no information other than a telephone number. "What do I have to lose," I thought and called the number.

The recording I reached said the position was for a respectable U.K.-based cruise line looking to start up in the U.S. Customer Service experience was required and management experience was preferred -- the person who got the job would be managing a large staff. Pay would be between $950-$1,250 weekly. If I was still interested, I should leave my name and contact number.

Within a couple of hours, an older-sounding gentleman returned my call, ran through the spiel about the company again, its "AAA" rating, and how the cruises it arranges aren't open to the general public, only to the rich and elite. He asked me a few questions about my background -- very few, I thought, and then said I should expect a call the following day (today) between 9:30-10:30 to let me know if I was going through a complete telephone interview or if they decided to look elsewhere.

Today, I waited anxiously and finally the call came. The same guy called, asked me most of the same questions he asked yesterday, along with one or two more. He again gave me the company background and told me he was going into a meeting where they would decide who to fly out to San Diego for face-to-face interviews. Was I willing to commit to an interview if they picked me and would I be available next week? Hells yeah! Dude said he'd call me back after his meeting, around 11:30 a.m.

(Keep in mind, I haven't been asked for a resume, proof of eligibility to work in this country, nada. Feeling suspicious? I was, just a bit.)

I was way too nervous to sit around the house and wait, so I packed up the pooch and headed to WaterWorks Park. Sitting at a picnic table in the shade, I got the call. They had narrowed the field from 17 candidates to five for interviews. I was one of the five. Would I still commit to taking a day to fly to San Diego in the morning and back at night? Of course! The guy on the phone said he hoped that all five candidates would work out because that was the exact number they needed to hire and they were already two weeks behind schedule. He would arrange flights with "the home office" and call me back in an hour with details. "Make sure you have pen and paper," he said.

I was ELATED! A decent-paying job and it was practically mine if I didn't screw up the interview too badly! The whole chain of events was moving so quickly -- I was just overjoyed to have someone finally interested in giving me a real, honest-to-Goddess job.

Jake and I walked to my friend Mike's house, borrowed pen and paper and awaited the call I knew would change my life.

Long story short: the call came, after much story-telling, the guy on the phone told me that I needed to pay half my airfare ($249) which would be refunded as soon as I arrived in San Diego and was met by Regional Vice President Stan Ellison. This was their corporate policy, implemented because so many people didn't show up when the flight wasn't on their dime. He needed to ticket the five fares today; was I still in or should he move on to one of the "backup" candidates?

Now, I've been unemployed for just over six months. That kind of cash doesn't come easily these days. One tiny little voice in my head started going over ways to get the money together -- after all, it was just for a few days. Luckily, another little voice said, "there's too many red flags here."

"Move on," I said, defeated.

The phone dude said he'd call me back on the 15th to let me know if one of the other candidates didn't work out and if I was still interested. My hopes, so recently resurrected, were now dashed.

Still suspicious, when I got home I did some research. When I couldn't track down the cruise line or V.P. Ellison, I Googled "employment scam cruise line." What I saw made me glad, just this once, to be poor. According to Snopes, this is an old con. Here's a link to the page detailing the swindle and how it has been separating dupes from their cash since 1992: Airfare Scam.

Well, I feel a lot better about losing out on "the interview." But man, did it feel nice to think I was on the brink of gainful employment! That's the problem with roller coasters. After you get off the ride, the giddy, hey-I-survived feeling doesn't last.

Kev in the Dream Zone

2009-06-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

Brief bursts of updates today...

My friend Tim is visiting today from Chicagoland, and I have to clean like a whirlwind, in addition to doing laundry, mowing the lawn before it rains and making a trip to the Post Office to drop off an eBay sale. Egad. So nothing lengthy!

Somehow, in May I managed to miss blogging about the 4th anniversary of writing this blog. Where does the time go? Back in May of 2005, I was talking to my friend Doug about the ending of the musical Wicked and he said, "get a blog." So I did. And I still do.

Last night/this morning I had a wonderful dream about this guy:

In the dream, we met at a convention appearance of his, hit it off immediately as friends and did some cool stuff together. I remember waking, looking at the clock, pushing myself back to sleep and using my sole superpower, lucid dreaming, to go back to the dream. In the rejoined dream, it was winter and Kevin and I made ice dummies resembling he and his wife. I dunno... go figure a dream. There was more, but the details are already slipping away. Curse me for not starting this earlier!

I came away from the dream with warm, positive feelings about Mr. Smith. Of course, I've always had warm, positive feelings about the man -- I've hung out on his web board for over a decade and met him many times in person. But somehow, my dreams made him more real to me. More human? Dunno. But I like it.

Crap. It's getting cloudy. Time to hit the lawn.

Happy Memorial Day! Now, Go See Star Trek!!

2009-05-25T08:06:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's been a month since my last blog. It's been a quiet month, here at Lake Wobegone... wait... wrong blog.

Today is the American Memorial Day holiday, the "official" start of summer, some will tell you, calendars and solstices be damned. It is intended as a day to commemorate those who died defending this country, although in my experience relatively few people actually do this. Most Americans show their gratitude for their freedom by grilling hamburgers and hot dogs and uncovering their pools. Growing up in my family, it was the day that my grandparents took us to virtually every cemetery in the area to clean, trim and beflower the headstones of family and friends, regardless of their military record.

My brother and I picked up this tradition a few years ago and continued it this year. Friday afternoon we started with a stop at Pat Catan's for supplies, then made our way to Mount Peace to offer our respect to the graves of our mother and grandmother. Grandma got violet roses with trim:

...while Mom got red roses:

After that, we drove out to Greenlawn Cemetery on the Barberton/Akron border to adorn the headstone of the man we grew up calling Grandpa:

Then, on a whim, we went to Chestnut Hill Memorial Park in Cuyahoga Falls to visit the marker of our biological maternal grandfather. We didn't take flowers, but after much searching (and some assistance from the nice lady in the office) we found his headstone, trimmed the grass around it and gave it a good wash. On Saturday, I took flowers to the graves of my friends Mark Willsey and Sean Cannon.

On to more cheery topics. In the month since last I blogged, I caught two movies: X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Star Trek. Wolverine was okay, on par with the second X-Men movie, imho. I still think Watchmen was a far superior product.

However, Star Trek was phenomenal! J.J. Abrams reinvented the franchise with spectacular results. He definitely paid homage to the original, while keeping the movie action-based (as with his Mission Impossible updates) and giving some nice, unexpected twists to the story. He used the original Spock, Leonard Nimoy, superbly, giving him far more than a cameo, but incorporating him fully. He has a hot new cast, with the genius casting of Simon Pegg as Montgomery Scott.

There have been many, many positive reviews of this movie, so I won't try to echo them. Go see the movie. I have -- four times. And when you go, keep your eyes peeled for:
* The reference to the TV show Enterprise
* Tribbles
* The Vulcan IDIC
* R2-D2 (I kid you not.)

Live Long and Prosper.

I Saw a Bee Today

2009-04-26T09:53:00.000-04:00

It's a perfect Sunday morning in Akron, Ohio. The weather is a mild 74 degrees, humidity is a reasonable 46% and there is enough breeze to keep air circulating but not enough to muss my patio umbrella.

As I often do on days like this, I took my newspaper, my coffee and my dog out to the patio to enjoy some fresh air.

(Some days I also take my laptop. Today, I decided to unplug for a bit.)

While I was outside, I watched a bumblebee buzz past me on its way to the bright yellow dandelions in my yard. I've never been so happy to see an insect before in my life. This is the first bee I've spotted for at least two years. I still blame their absence on my failed pumpkin crop last year.

I hope this means the little buggers (heh!) are rebounding from CCD.

My Boycott of Marvel $3.99 Titles!

2009-04-23T09:05:00.000-04:00

BIG NEWS: The economy is in the crapper! Unemployment is at an all-time high in many states! People have less disposable income!

Marvel Comics' response? "Let's increase the cover price on the majority of our books from $2.99 to $3.99, a whopping 33% increase with no added content or appreciable difference in quality." Insane.

I begrudgingly accepted the extra subtraction from my wallet, even after losing my job back in November. I enjoy reading a lot of Marvel titles and a lot of DC titles, as well as a selection of comics from smaller publishers. But the number of Marvel titles moving up to the $3.99 price point keeps increasing. The final straw for me was Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada's tweet back on April 7th: "G' morning, Marvel U! Is DC still publishing comics? Just curious." Arrogance. I can't stand arrogance. He may have meant it as humor, but I've seen the man at conventions, listened to him speak on panels. He ain't funny. I removed him from my Twitter feed.

So this week I stopped buying all Avengers titles. Christ, there's so many! Don't get me wrong, I like Bendis' writing, but Dark Avengers, Mighty Avengers, New Avengers... really? It's the "make everything X-Men related by putting an "X" in the title and we'll make a mint! Bwa hahahahaha!" thing all over again.

(Yup, I stopped buying "X" titles years ago.)

Every week, I will look at the cover price of Marvel books. It's time to start putting back every $3.99 (or higher!) comic I pick up from my regular pulls, unless there is some appreciable reason for the increased price. (Appreciable reasons might include a larger-than-normal page count ending a storyline, a significant anniversary-numbered issue, or a one-shot by a writer or artist whose work I find particularly interesting.)

Four dollars is simply too much for a comic book. The only way consumers can get the corporate types to understand this is to stop purchasing them. Draw a line in the sand.

Oh and friendly competition? Cool. Arrogance in a public forum? Not cool. Step off.

A Resurection of Appreciation

2009-04-12T18:54:00.000-04:00

Festivus, the winter "Holiday for the Rest of Us" includes Airing of Grievances as one of its activities. I decided to start a similar, yet different tradition this spring: the Airing of Appreciations. My current financial situation has opened my eyes to just how lucky I really am. Accordingly:

@ I appreciate my friend Tami, who surprised me with a wonderful, indulgent gift basket on my birthday. When we chat online, she calls me "love" and never fails to raise my spirits. Thanks, Tami!

@ I appreciate my brother, Tom, who gave me a generous cash Christmas gift and told me to use it as I like. He also gave me a PetSmart gift card for Jake. Thanks, Tom!

@ I appreciate my friend Lori, who shared bingo winnings with me, bought me lunches and got me the BIG can of Tim Horton's coffee from Canada. She checks up on me and generally lets me know I'm loved. Thanks, Lori!

@ I appreciate my friends Doug and Larry, who sent me Giant Eagle gift cards and books from Amazon.com. Doug sends links to job postings and offers me encouragement. Thanks, Doug & Larry!

@ I appreciate my friend Missie, who treats me to dinners and drinks and took me to see Rent for Christmas. She saved my St. Patrick's Day from blending in to the rest of the calendar. Thanks, Missie!

@ I appreciate my VA Board friends Tammy & J.R., Tanya and Dan. All of them check in with me and offer their support and encouragement. Knowing there are people out there who keep me in their thoughts means a great deal to me. Dan even sent me a pair of Spider-Man PJ bottoms because he saw them at T.J. Maxx. Thanks, Tammy, J.R., Tanya & Dan!

@ I appreciate the folks who own and operate Alpine-Vistah Kennels, Paula and Chuck. They always take excellent care of Jake, whether it is for boarding or day care. Last month, Paula found a check of mine from November that she had misplaced. Knowing I was out of work, she tore the check up. In this economy, that is a significant gesture. Thanks Paula & Chuck!

@ I appreciate my dear, dear friends Michael and Kiehl. I talk to both of them almost daily. We do lunches and dinners and share resources and support and love. My life would be vastly diminished without them. Kiehl has recently encouraged me to rediscover the spiritual (not religious) side of my life. These guys complete me. Well, at least until the position is filled romantically. Thanks, Mike & Kiehl!

I don't know if any of these folks read this blog, but that's not the point. I thanked them all for their kindness and generosity. This is really about using the holiday spirit to send my appreciation out into the universe, or at least cyberspace.

Today, I had dinner with Kiehl and friends Craig, Doug and Randy. My contribution to the meal was a bottle of my Spiced Apple Riesling and what I'm calling a Resurrection by Chocolate trifle:

Blessed Spring Holiday of your choice!

How Cute Is This?

2009-04-07T15:20:00.000-04:00

Jake is so adorable when he's asleep... and taking up the end of the sofa.

I Missed Posting on St. Paddy's

2009-04-06T09:42:00.000-04:00

So this will have to do. So true. My friends Doug & Larry sent me this card.

For my Easter posting, I'm planning something special. The Seinfeld-created winter holiday Festivus includes the traditional "Airing of Grievances." For my spring holiday, I will begin the tradition of "Airing of Appreciations." Check back and see. Oh, and bring your aluminum pole. I have special plans for that.

Unemployment Redux

2009-03-11T09:59:00.000-04:00

Okay, it isn't fun any more.

I admit, it was kind of cool to be unemployed at first. I could sleep until whenever. I could walk around the house all day in my Guinness "lounge pants" (aka pajama bottoms) and a holey t-shirt. I could cruise craigslist any time I wanted. After more than thirty years of continuous employment, this was an extravagance, a luxury, a novelty.

But that got tiresome pretty quickly. Thus was born my current daily routine: rise early (the alarm is set for 6:30 a.m.), make coffee, take care of Jake's needs, get online, hit the jobsites, apply for anything new since the previous day, take a shower, get back to the computer. I spend at least 6 hours every day applying for or looking for employment.

I break up my week with trips to the library for DVD's (a practice that replaced my weekly trips to Best Buy to purchase the damn things) and to the Job Center to print resumes and fax them to places that don't accept online submissions.

I just want a job. It would be nice if it paid more than unemployment, but I can take a little less than that if it comes with medical benefits, of which I am currently bereft. My savings are gone, so frugality has taken on a whole new meaning. The bills are still getting paid... barely.

Unemployment teaches you who your real friends are. I have one friend who shared her bingo winnings with me. She also got me the BIG can of Tim Horton's coffee, just because I mentioned liking it. She's a gem. Other friends take me out for lunch or dinner, the only times I eat at restaurants now. Still others call or e-mail regularly and check on how I'm doing.

And then there are those who act like I have a disease. You know... being laid off might be contagious. Or I might ask them for something. (For the record, I never ask for help. I have gotten better at accepting if it's offered, but that is a very recent adaptation.) Or maybe they have some form of survivor's guilt. Whatever the case, I'll move on without them.

I keep thinking of this refrain from A Chorus Line:
Give me a job
and you instantly get me involved.
If you give me a job
then the rest of the crap will get solved.
Put me to work,
You would think that by now I'm allowed
I'll do you proud.

And yeah, I know how gay it is to quote a showtune in your blog. Like the gay faith healer says, "Get over it, Mary!"

Remembering Scholastic Books

2009-02-15T12:51:00.000-05:00

Reading this news article last week on Scholastic Book Clubs being criticized for using their schoolroom "in" to sell non-educational materials made me wistful for the days when I brought home the Scholastic flyer, chock full of reading opportunities at reasonable prices.

Scholastic has always hawked popular mass-media. After all, what better way to "trick" kids into reading than to give them subjects, like entertainment, they find interesting? They sold paperback media tie-ins, as evidenced by the Partridge Family book from my own collection, above. They also offered novelizations of current movies. I remember getting Blackbeard's Ghost, from the Disney movie. I have a vivid memory of using a passage from that book in English class as an example of a perfect metaphor. In describing the pirate of the book's title, it said something like: He was an angry, grimy Zeus, hurtling verbal thunderbolts at his crew.

(Partridge Family Aside: What can I say? I convinced myself I was in love with Laurie Partridge, as portrayed by Susan Dey, when I was an impressionable youth.)

In the 80's, Scholastic made the leap to investing directly in television with one of my favorite shows: Voyagers! The program was action/adventure, starring a time-traveling young boy, and thus offered up a side-helping of history. Sadly, the NBC series didn't win the ratings it deserved and was canceled after only one season. The Scholastic novelization of the pilot episode (below) is one of the few tangible markers of its existence.

But back then, Scholastic was all about reading. Even their colorful, picture-laden media magazine Dynamite! was a reading opportunity. There were dozens of chances to own popular children's fiction books, like The Marshmallow Ghosts and Timothy and the Snakes, which managed to survive my turbulent youth. (The latter introduced me to the Spanish equivalent of my name, Timoteo, and sparked my interest in that exotic language.) I remember begging my grandmother to buy me a kid's cookbook I found in one Scholastic Bookclub flyer. Somewhere, I still have the copy of Hercules and Other Tales from Greek Myths by Olivia E Coolidge. My lifelong love of mythology got started for a measly 60 cents.

Owning Scholastic books stimulated my nascent intellect. For me, a poor kid growing up in a low-income housing project, these were cherished treasures.

Of course, I haven't seen a Scholastic Bookclub flyer in decades. If the allegations are true that Scholastic defended their sale of toys, stickers and makeup by saying that they are reading-related because they come with instructions, I am sorely disappointed.

But that doesn't change my love of the books I enjoyed as a child one iota. Give Scholastic a chance, sez I. Let them return to their core value: providing kids with affordable opportunities to expand their minds.

Snowstorm Aftermath

2009-01-29T10:37:00.001-05:00

As promised yesterday, here are some photos of the aftermath of the 1/28/09 snowstorm:
Backyard, with path to the feeders.

No place to throw snow!

Snow-covered dustbins

My sidewalk, leading to my next door neighbor's car. Despite the fact that she has adult children in their 20's and former Marines who are capable of helping, I suspect I will need to help her unbury her car and driveway. Oh, my aching back!

The accursed driveway!

And finally, Jake waits patiently at the gate for me to finish taking photos.

Message for the Snow Gods: Enough Already!

2009-01-28T19:06:00.000-05:00

I had to shovel a path for my dog to take a crap today. All told, I spent about 6 hours shoveling snow. This involves shoveling some relatively contained areas: my driveway and sidewalk, my patio and the space under my bird feeders. Oh yeah, and a path out to a flat area I created in my yard for Jake to poop.

My first foray into the cold was at 8:00 a.m. and involved only the patio and bird feeders. It was still snowing heavily, so I decided to wait a bit before tackling the larger areas.

At 11:30, the snow seemed to be tapering off, so I uncovered the patio, refilled the bird feeders, and started excavating the driveway and sidewalk. In the early morning hours, there had been a period of snow mixed with freezing rain -- not long, but enough to create a thick crust. Thus, shoveling involved removing three layers: a layer of bottom snow, a layer of ice and a thick layer of recent snow. Two hours later, I was finished and my back was killing me. In the meantime, the snow had started anew and buried most of what I shoveled when I started. Sweaty and aching, I decided to go back inside and wait for the frozen precipitation to cease.

It finally did around 4:30. I threw my barn coat, jeans and socks in the dryer and then went back out to re-shovel everything and to uncover my car. I paused only briefly when one of my neighbors got stuck out on the street. The redneck next door help me push her PT Cruiser into her driveway. It must have killed him to help "sissyboy" do something. Amazingly, he was pretty cordial.

This last shoveling created a new problem: I actually ran out of places to discard snow. It is piled so steeply against the house and the side of my driveway, that when I add more, it just slides back onto the surface I just uncovered.

My street hasn't yet been plowed, so trying to go anywhere is just an exercise in frustration. Fortunately, I have everything I need right here. If the spirit moves me tomorrow, I'll take some photos of the aftermath of this most recent snowstorm.

There is a popular urban legend that Eskimos have 100 words for snow. (See the Wikipedia entry for truth.) I just want to know one word to communicate to the Snow Gods: stop!

There Are No Strangers in Snowstorms

2009-01-12T16:45:00.000-05:00

I'm not a particularly good neighbor. Oh, I don't have wild parties with loud music and men urinating on other people's grass (as if!) and I don't allow my dog to defecate on lawns other than my own. But I also don't throw barbecues or attend block parties or buy Avon from the lady who nonetheless continues to put her fliers in my mailbox. I know a few of my neighbors by name, but only a few. I throw up my hand and say hello on occasion and otherwise try to stay out of people's way, as I hope they will stay out of mine.

The recent snowstorm made my residential street virtually impassable. Saturday evening I attempted to leave my house to attend a friend's party and found myself hopelessly stuck in the deep, rutted snow. Out of nowhere, one of my neighbors - a man to whom I have never uttered a word - fell in behind me and started pushing. Within moments, another neighbor got out of his condo-sized pickup truck and assisted until I was on my way. I rolled down my window and shouted my thanks, but they were already retreating back into their own homes and separate lives.

This simple act had a profound effect on me. I came home Saturday night, got into bed and just started to drift off to sleep. About two a.m., I heard the unmistakable sound of spinning tires out on the street. When the sound continued after a few minutes, I threw on clothes and went out to help. Another neighbor was already assisting and we pushed whoever was in the car out of the rut and onto the larger, plowed thoroughfare.

Sunday dawned bright and snowy. I shoveled my driveway, again, and decided to do the same for my neighbor next door. She apparently left for the weekend and her driveway was untouched since the beginning of the snowstorm. I knew this would be no small task as, at that point, we had about a foot of snow. But, she's an older lady who lives alone with her dog and I didn't want her to have to tackle the chore herself. An hour later, drenched in sweat, I came in tired, but satisfied.

Around three o'clock in the afternoon, the city plowed our street. I was thrilled! I didn't mind one tiny bit that it meant marching back outside and dislodging the packed snow and ice from the end of my driveway -- at least now the road was passable! The city plow driver drove past again and I stopped shoveling long enough to smile and wave and flash him a "thumbs up." In exchange, he turned around and used his plow to clear my driveway. I was astounded! It's entirely possible I whooped for joy.

As I was digging out my neighbor's now-buried drive, the lady across the street backed out of her driveway, not realizing the mound left there by the recent plowing. She and her father became hopelessly hung up in the morass. I walked over with my trusty shovel and started digging them out, joined within minutes by two other neighbors. The lady said, "well, this is one way to meet your neighbors!" and we all laughed. It took us all about twenty minutes of digging and pushing, but we finally dislodged their car and got them on their way.

Wikipedia defines a neighborhood as: "is a geographically localized community within a larger city, town or suburb. Neighborhoods are often social communities with considerable face-to-face interaction among members." Until now, I never really gave this much thought. That may just change.

Oh, and just how much snow was there? I took this photo just after noon on Saturday, before the snow had even stopped:

The Undeserved Rep of New Yorkers (NYE in NYC)

2009-01-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

I spent New Year's Eve 2008 and New Year's Day 2009 in New York City. My VA Board friend Adam (aka Silent Boba Fett) hosted a party in his Queens apartment. The invitees consisted of Boardies (including my friend Ben - HeWhoMassagesAtCons, his wife Amy, another Amy - Minikitkatgirl and her roommate Dan and another, "proper" Dan - Champ Blankman) and locals from the New York Browncoats and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan group. As a result, the pre-midnight festivites tended to be Whedon-centric: a Dr. Horrible sing-along, a viewing of "Commentary: The Musical," a sing-along to the Buffy musical episode, "Once More with Feeling," and viewings of the Buffy and Angel episodes "Hush" and "Smile Time" respectively. Awesome fun!

(A quick aside: one of the guests, a Manhattanite named Richard, was the cousin of porn star Steve Drake. As this was probably the closest I will ever get to that particular personal hero of mine, I was thrilled and delighted.)

During my brief visit to the city, (certainly not my first, although my first in this century,) I encountered scores of New Yorkers. To a person, they were all friendly, outgoing and personable. I have never heard and/or recited the "Happy New Year" litany more times in my life. Folks held doors open for me. Couples in elevators smiled and wished me well. People in traffic yielded to my turn indicator. Men at toll booths smiled and offered the holiday salutation. A man delivering pizza pulled up behind my parked car and asked where I was from in Ohio. With a charming Brooklyn accent (I'm guessing, I was in Queens) he told me he had a friend in Akron and had lived in Cincinnati for five months. He finished our exchange with a radiant smile and yet another "Happy New Year!"

Where were the angry, nasty, apathetic New Yorkers made popular on television and in movies? I didn't encounter a single one. Not in convenience stores or Dunkin Donuts or delicatessens or on the street. I remarked about this aspect of my experience to Adam, who just shook his head. "New Yorkers have a bad rep," he said. "It's largely undeserved, but it's tough to erase."

Let this blog be my small contribution to righting that wrong.

Perhaps it was the holiday -- one where NYC is truly in the global spotlight. Maybe I was just really, really lucky. Who knows? For my part, I came away with a much improved opinion of the Big Apple.

Merry Christmas to All

2008-12-25T09:34:00.000-05:00

Here is a brief Christmas wish to all my friends: May you all have a warm, wonderful holiday, however you choose to spend it. Be safe, find cheer and love one another as well as yourselves.

For those of you who can't make it to my place, I wanted to share some photos of my decorations:

This is my silver foil Christmas tree, circa 1960's. This year I decorated it entirely in green and Irish ornaments. Note the color wheel, the musical train around the base and the olive wood nativity.

This is the ceramic tree I inherited from my Grandmother. It has colorful cracked-glass marbles set into the branches. Lighted, it looks a bit like this:

My small bookcase displays Irish Christmas items, including an Irish nativity, leprechaun nutcracker and some Irish Santas on the top:

My entertainment center displays my collection of International Santas, some Christmas music boxes, nutcrackers, etc.

The left speaker displays my collection of Santa and Christmas Pez dispensers:

And finally, my large bookcase displays some of my Christmas snowglobe collection and my Avon nativity:

Here's a close-up of the white bisque porcelain nativity:

This photo also shows my favorite snowglobes: the tacky, plastic figural Santa globes so popular in the 50's and 60's. I'm always on the lookout for more Christmas figural snowglobes, especially regional ones.

Enjoy your day, my friends! New Year's Eve for me will be spent with friends in NYC!

Reactions, Recruiters and Ramblings

2008-12-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

When the going gets tough, the tough use alliteration.

I haven't been unemployed in a long, long time. The last time I was jobless, after being downsized from Montgomery Ward, was the 1980's. Cliche' as it sounds, times have changed a lot for the unemployed. Unemployment benefits, job searches, resume and cover letter submissions -- all are handled over the Internet now.

However, reactions to the news of a job loss haven't changed one iota. The initial reaction is almost always, "What are you going to do?" Um... find another job. What other options are open to me? I have no wealthy relatives, no trust fund, no "fall back" position. Duh.

One of my favorite reactions is, "What do you do every day?" This is closely related to the almost-daily inquiry, "So, how's the job hunt going?" Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the interest and/or concern. Trust me, when I get a new job, I will trumpet it from the rooftops. Well, the rooftops of my e-mail and cell phone, anyway.

Typical Day: I rise at 5:30, like I always have, make coffee, let Jake out, and begin the hunt. I start by getting online and checking out jobs on the major employment websites (Monster, Indeed, etc.) followed by more local websites (OhioMeansJob.com) and then hitting the websites of local large-volume employers like Summa. I do this for about 6 hours each day.

When I'm not online, I play with the dog, take him for walks, etc. I have taken to putting DVD's on in the other room for background noise. I've gone through the first three seasons of the new Doctor Who and the first season of Torchwood, having recently viewed the latest seasons. Sometimes, I play Christmas CD's on my computer or holiday music on iTunes.

To all who read this: I'm doing fine. My savings, although dwindling, are tiding me over. Unemployment is staunching the flow a teeny bit. I'll manage. Thank you for your concern -- it means the world to me. But, remember when we used to chat and I rarely talked about work because I thought you'd find it boring? I'd just as soon not talk about being unemployed the same way. Let me bring it up. Thanks.

My online resume with Monster seems to have attracted the attention primarily of recruiters. It always did, which is why I made it unsearchable while I was employed with SGS. So far, I've been asked if I want to move to Columbus for a 4-month contract (no, thanks) or work on a training project for 3 months in Cleveland -- no benefits, just a "competitive salary." Sigh. I understand that a recruiter's job is not to find me a position, but to find qualified bodies to toss to an employer. But the offers are frustrating anyway. It's like walking through the desert and having someone dangle a cold bottle of water in front of you, then offering only a capful.

But enough about that. Here's my question du jour:
When did walking through the mall become a contact sport?

In recent months, I've had several occasions to visit both Chapel Hill Mall and Summit Mall. The hawkers at the kiosks in the mall have made such visits downright uncomfortable. You can't walk twenty feet without being solicited or accosted by salespeople for cellphones (strangely, almost always men) or beauty products (almost always attractive young women) or other goods. When you politely decline their offers, most get brusque. I want to walk through the mall, get to my destination, do my shopping and leave without being hassled, thankyouverymuch. If I need a cellphone or Dead Sea cosmetics, I'll be sure to approach you. Egad.

And one last rambling: a shout-out to my friend Tami, who sent me a huge, fantastic gift basket for my birthday. It was full of things that are bad for me: soda, candy, chips, snacks and so forth, all wrapped up in a bucket. Oddly, I never had a mopbucket until now. Coming right on the heels of my layoff, this extravagant gift made me feel loved and comforted (as well as sugar buzzed.) Thanks, hon! Here's what it looked like:

Welcome to the Land of Unemployment

2008-12-01T19:18:00.000-05:00

Today was my first full day as an unemployed man.

Yup, some things have happened since last I blogged.

In early November, I hosted and delivered a training program for 15 customers at SGS. The program went off without a hitch (travel delays notwithstanding) and got rave reviews from the participants. "Tim is an ideal spokesman for SGS Tool," one participant wrote on his evaluation. Follow-up e-mails from several others favorably cited my performance as chauffeur, instructor, organizer and event planner.

I followed that by driving to New York to attend a "meet and greet" held by one of our customers. After spending a couple of days meeting the salesmen from all their branches and passing out my business cards, an e-mail from my boss had me driving back to Akron in a blizzard. Top speed through PA: 20 MPH, driving Interstate 90 single-file, staying in the tire tracks of the car ahead of me.

And what did I get for that white-knuckled, hair-raising experience? Laid off from my job of twenty years. SGS has a mass workforce reduction, laying off 73 people or about 25% of their total employment. Twenty years of dedication, gone with the stroke of a pen. I asked for and was given the three days before Thanksgiving to wrap up the projects I had pending.

Monday the 24th was my birthday. Happy birthday to me.

Thanksgiving I drove to Salem, OH and spent the day with my friend Steve, his wife Farah, their children, Steve's parents Bob and Beverly and Farah's dad. Farah, her son, Bob and Beverly are all deaf, so it gave me a good chance to freshen up my ASL.

I did a bit of cyber-shopping on Black Friday and actually set foot in one store, well after the early morning insanity had come and gone.

Over the weekend, I started putting away Halloween and fall decorations and started dragging out the Christmas decor. Somewhere in there, I also managed to apply for unemployment compensation and register online with OhioMeansJobs and reinstate my resume on Monster.com (#3i4zqzqjt99b75ya for any interested employers reading this, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

And today, I am officially unemployed. I woke this morning to the realization that I had no real purpose for getting out of bed. Yet I did, at 6:30 a.m. and got online to start the hunt.

Losing a job is like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You wonder what you did wrong, why someone else was kept instead of you. You wonder if they'll call and want you back. You wonder if you want to go back.

From the beginning, I decided that this is an opportunity. Fuck SGS. I have mad skills and someone else will be lucky to hire me. I know the carbide cutting tool market inside and out -- from manufacturing through application, everything about distribution, both domestic and international. I know supervision, from keeping call centers running to juggling employee schedules and maintaining ISO 9002 documentation. I know event planning -- from hotels to welcome baskets, from delivering training to organizing lunches and dinners. I know marketing, from flyers and graphics to websites and e-mail blasts. And of course, I've never lost my touch for freelance writing/editing. And I'm not afraid of hard work; at SGS 50 hour weeks were hardly uncommon.

I'll be okay. In fact, this may be the kick in the ass I needed to find something I truly enjoy, something I can believe in.

And if anyone from SGS reads this, you lost one of your best "associates." Idiots.

But I'm not bitter.

Halloween Memories

2008-11-01T22:12:00.000-04:00

Before the season slips away, I wanted to take some photos and capture my Halloween decor for posterity...

(Above) Most visitors enter through and spend time in my living room, so that's where the bulk of the decorations reside.

The stairs to the bedrooms feature my colection of McDonald's Happy Meal Halloween Pails, with at least one of each offering, starting in 1986. And at the top of the stairs...

...the first three pails offered in 1985 and repeated in 1986 (bottom row) and the final years' pails, including the awful last year which featured a cardboard ring rather than a lid. But, it had that cool "bat-handle" so there's that.

My large downstairs bookcase is topped with Gargoyle Gulch...

...while the small bookcase includes my new favorite knick-knack, the pumpkin snowman. I've had a Halloween doormat for years with a pumpkin snowman on it and finding the figure this year was a cool case of serendipity.

Around the base of my gargoyle fountain I created a lighted pumpkin patch, although I have more electric pumpkins scattered around the house.

The downstairs bathroom is decorated in Halloween rubber duckies.

And while there are additional holiday items throughout the house, the final one I will post here is...

...the wine bar in the kitchen.

Here's a kind of artsy shot of one of my favorite things... a lighted ceramic Wizard of Oz Scarecrow.

I hope your Halloween or Samhain or Dia de Los Muertos was everything you wanted it to be.

I Went to See the Wizard (Again)

2008-10-20T18:21:00.000-04:00

Missie and I went to see the Carousel Dinner Theater production of “The Wizard of Oz” last night. To be honest, my expectations were pretty low. In my experience, dinner theater usually manages to be barely passable as either dinner or theater. However, Missie knows I am a fan of L. Frank Baum’s creations and wanted to take me to the show as an early birthday present. Who am I to argue about the prospect of an evening out with one of my closest friends?

Much to my surprise, the presentation was very, very enjoyable. The production was a staging of the 1939 film musical. There were a few changes (the Professor Marvel subplot was dropped entirely) and a few additions (a complete staging of “The Jitterbug” musical number, excised from the film.) The actors were Equity professionals and did a fine job recreating their roles without straying too far from the iconic portrayals so familiar to everyone.

During intermission, the audience was given cardboard 3-D-type glasses with green lenses for the Emerald City scene, just like the book. (The city dwellers were all dressed in resplendent white – including white wigs.) Several of the multiple roles played by Frank Morgan in the film (City Gatekeeper, Wizard’s Palace Guard, etc) were played by a huge mechanical puppet fashioned to look like Morgan. Nice touch. and yes, the role of Toto was filled by a live dog, although not a Cairn Terrier. They made up for the gaff by having Dorothy in a sepia-colored dress while she was in Kansas and the traditional blue gingham when she arrived in Oz.

Even dinner wasn’t bad. Missie had a filet and I had pork. We shared an excellent cheese tray during the first part of the performance and split a chocolate-peanut butter dessert at intermission.

All-in-all, it was a truly enjoyable evening. I even managed to squeeze out a few tears at the same place I always boo-hoo during the film: when Dorothy says goodbye to her Oz companions. (“Oh, Scarecrow, I think I’ll miss you most of all.” Sob!)

Since last I blogged, I’ve traveled to Baltimore and Philadelphia for work and jumped more completely into my new Sales Engineer role at work. This weekend, I fly to Chicago to attend the wedding of my friends Tammy (aka LouieGirl) and J.R. And I’m sharing accommodations with my friend Tanya (aka Bitteroptimist.) After that, it’s off to New Jersey for a Kevin Smith event.

The trees are displaying their autumnal brilliance and all is truly right with the world. I hope the same can be said of your little corner of creation. Peace.

End of Summer

2008-09-01T08:41:00.001-04:00

Today is the American Labor Day holiday, which traditionally signals the end of summer. My pumpkin vines have spread all over the yard, but seem to bear no little pumpkins. I suspect it is because there are no bees to pollinate the bright, yellow-orange flowers. Damn those insects and their colony collapse disorder! I tried pollinating myself, but that seems to have no real success.

(Is there a name for the color yellow-orange? I was raised poor and never got the big box of crayolas. You know, the one with the sharpener. We always got the cheap ones with lead, which goes a long way toward explaining my brother...)

Anyway, some end of Summer 2008 thoughts:

Movies: I saw quite a few blockbusters this summer. Iron Man rocked. The Dark Knight (aka TDK) rocked harder. (And reminded me just how sad the loss of Heath Ledger really is.) Hellboy II nearly made my head explode... in a good way. Mamma Mia was okay, but Pierce Brosnan's singing made my ears bleed. Just a little. The Incredible Hulk was... meh. So was the new Indiana Jones movie. Worth mentioning: Mummy 3, WALL-E, Hancock and Death Race (if only for Jason Statham.) Find your own website for those. I'm feeling linky, but not that linky.

Music: I have to admit to being pretty underwhelmed with what was coming out of the radio this summer. Coldplay's new album (ain't it cute that I still call 'em albums?) isn't bad and Kid Rock's new song, "All Summer Long" is growing on me. Never thought I'd write that sentence. It's probably because he samples two other songs I basically like. Whatever happened to Warren Zevon? Otherwise, I'm still listening to the Latin music I started in the spring: Juanes, Juan Luis Guerra, Sin Bandera and others. I also picked up Great Big Sea's new album, Fortune's Favor, and am in the process of absorbing it. After hearing him sing "So Close" on the Enchanted soundtrack, I picked up Jon McLaughlin's album, "Indiana." The guy has a fantastic voice.

Mayhem: Okay, really not a lot of drama this summer. I am, by-and-large, a low-drama kinda guy. I went to Cedar Point and rode everything I could except the Top Thrill Dragster; I waited in line 2-1/2 hours to discover I was too big to buckle into. (Body Fascists!) I got in a fender bender. I went out for margaritas and munchies with Missie. I drove to Canada for work and hit a casino. I put a personal ad on craigslist that had good, bad and ugly responses. Kiehl, Mike and I have been doing movie nights. (So far, everyone liked "Latter Days" best.) I'm still single and living with my canine lifemate.

That's about it. I'm looking forward to the colors of autumn. Of course, I'll have to go out and buy a friggin' pumpkin somewhere. I wonder where they got their bees?

Catching Up

2008-07-27T17:27:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while and have some catching up to do. And yes, dear reader, there have been changes:

My new position, Sales Engineer/Director of Technical Training, requires that I work from home. It's the best thing ever! No more babysitting grown adults, no more stress over internal politics, no more swimming with the sharks aka working with the backstabbers. Glorious!!! True, I seem to be getting little (read as: no) direction on the "Technical Training" portion of the new job, but I can live with that.

Part of my territory is what we call the "Mid-Atlantic" which consists of NJ, MD, and Eastern PA. I'm going there in a few weeks to sus out the lay of the land for our products. Can't wait.

And supposedly there may be some international travel associated with the afore-mentioned "training" position. I'll believe it when I see it, but that would be a welcome change for me. I loved seeing different countries and experiencing different cultures, at least until the demand of constantly travelling burned me out. Time will tell.

My brother has been having some health issues. He was in the hospital last week where it was discovered that he had fluid building up around his lungs and heart. Friday, he had an operation to cut a pericardial window in the sack around his heart to relieve the fluid build-up there. His lungs have been drained twice. The frightening thing is that the doctors don't yet know why this is happening. He shows no signs of infection, so it may be a viral outbreak. He is still in the hospital as of this writing.

Last weekend, my friend Missie and I went to see the Vatican Splendors exhibit at the Western Reserve Historical Society in Cleveland. Fantastic! If you get a chance to see this touring exhibit, do so. Afterward, we checked out the Puerto Rican Festival. The empanadas were terrific, the arepas pretty good and the piña coladas were cold and refreshing but there wasn't much happening late Saturday afternoon. We decided that next year we'll come back in the evening, when there are singing acts and probably more people.

But Turbo had a good time:

Translation:
"At the Puerto Rican Festival, TURBO eats an empanada and rice with beans and sips a cold piña colada while watching the pretty ladies walk by. Smooth."

Where will Turbo pop up next?

P.S. I hope everyone managed to catch Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog while it was online. Some of those songs are still stuck in my head!

Home Again, Home Again, Higgety Jig

2008-06-29T13:31:00.000-04:00

I'm home. Here's how I did in accomplishing my goals from Thursday's blog:
1. Check
2. Check, although not as much as I'd hoped
3. Check - found 3 out of 4 gaps in my collection
4. Check - although the experience was pretty disappointing*

*The bakery was a small place, which I was prepared for, but there was a strong feeling of anti-American (anti-English?) sentiment from patrons and employees. They were out of most of the hot food, but we got the last remaining empanada to share and an arepa chocolo (sweet corn arepa) with cheese each. The arepa was tasty, although I prefer arepas made with masarepa. Overall, the trip probably wasn't worth the 45 minute drive into the city, the 20 minute wait and the 45-minute drive back to the burbs. Shame.

My visit was cut short and I drove home through the night, finally pulling into my driveway at 3:30 this morning. Thank God for Doctor Who CD's or I'm sure I would have fallen asleep on a half-dozen occasions.

I didn't make it to dinner with the Boardies Saturday evening, but I did get to spend some of time with my friend Tammy. She went to a lot of trouble fixing up her place to host me and it showed. And I got to spend a bit of time with my friend Ben at the con. We attended a panel by Ahmet Zappa, with whom Ben has a connection, but I chickened out when Ben offered to introduce me. Curse me!

It wasn't the weekend I planned/hoped for, but you'll have that. It had good points and not-so-good points, but hey, isn't that a microcasm of life itself?

Chicagoland Once More

2008-06-26T18:17:00.001-04:00

I'm typing this from a Panera Bread franchise in Downers Grove, IL. I'm back in Chicagoland to, in order of importance:

1. See my friend Tammy
2. Hang with VA Boardies
3. Attend the Wizard World comic convention in Rosemont and fill some holes in my comic collection
4. Find a Colombian bakery in Lincoln Square (Mekatos) that is famous for its arepas and sample my favorite Colombian/Venezuelan corn bread... The empanadas are supposed to be delish as well.

The drive here was relaxing and uneventful. I threw a stack of Doctor Who Big Finish CD's in the car for entertainment and made a couple of sidetrips to spots that struck my fancy along the way. I didn't encounter any real traffic until I hit I-294. My new BlackBerry buzzed more than a few times, but I've successfully ignored anything work-related.

So now I'm chillin' and waiting for Tammy to join me at the sushi place next door for dinner. When I'm home on Sunday, I'll post again with details on how well I met my objectives.

Salud!

"Sensuous" Can Have Many Meanings

2008-06-08T14:21:00.001-04:00

I had one of the most sensuous experiences of my life yesterday. And I shared it with two beautiful women.

My dear friend Missie and I planned a barbecue for Saturday. She was picking up swordfish steaks and I was making a spinach salad and bringing margarita makings. Along the way, another friend, Lisa, joined the festivites, contributing a broccoli caserole. I was in charge of the grill (man + fire = good) and we grilled skewers of squash, onions and zucchini. The afternoon meal was fantastic! The day was a bit too hot to sit outside, so we ate indoors.

The salad I prepared was a study in contrasts: baby leaf spinach, mardarin oranges, sweet peas, crumbled bacon, sliced hearts of palm (thanks to José Luis for turning me on to those) and shredded extra-sharp cheddar with a sweet and sour dressing. The idea is to stimulate all five taste areas of the tongue while keeping the flavors in balance.

As day turned into evening, it seemed like we just could not pull ourselves away from one another. We moved outside and eventually got hungry again. Missie, God love her, prepared a massive snacking tray with fruits and veggies and crackers and cheeses. We started talking about combining flavors and savoring all that life has to offer. As darkness approached, we discovered many joys of combining sweet and savory, tangy and tart. (Our favorite: fresh strawberries stuffed with bleu cheese and followed with a dry, red wine.)

We finally, regretfully parted ways sometime after midnight. It was one of the most relaxing, indulgent, exciting, sensuous days of my life.

Here's to sharing life's treasures with good friends!

Speaking of good friends, José Luis has been gone for more than a week now. He loved Turbo. Saying goodbye to him was not easy. The Monday after he went back to Spain, I called him and we chatted for a few moments. His mom got on the phone and thanked me for finding the Go-Bot and for being so kind to her son. I was very touched. José and I exchanged e-mails throughout his holiday week in Spain. Yesterday, while I was having the time of my life, he flew back to England and his self-imposed exile from all he loves. My thoughts are with him. I hope, when I read back to this posting a year from now, that we will still be in touch.

Rediscovering La Alegría de la Vidawith José Luis

2008-05-18T16:45:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. I've been busy rediscovering my love of life with a 26-year old named José Luis Ucar La Salvia.

José, a native of Venezuela whose family relocated to Spain, has been training with my company since the beginning of April. He was hired by our office in the U.K. with the intention of making him the field engineer for Spain and Portugal. He learned English in Sweden, along with some Swedish. I can't speak for his Swedish, but his English is virtually flawless.

When I first learned that José would be training with us, I admit to some trepidation. I worried that I would be pressed into service babysitting another wayward lamb. Then I met him. José turned out to be bright and personable, funny and warm. We set him up in one of our guest houses and gave him the use of a company car. On his first day, I took him shopping for groceries and to dinner at Applebees (his choice.) Our conversation was so completely relaxed and effortless, that from that first day I stopped seeing this wholly remarkable young man as an "assignment" and started seeing him as a friend.

His first weekend I took him to Cleveland for the Arms & Armor from Imperial Austria exhibit at the Cleveland Museum of Art. It was a warm, sunny, spring day and we drove with the moonroof open, chatting in English and Spanish. Despite his disdain for showtunes, we managed to find some music we both enjoyed. José was fascinated by the weight of the suits of armor and how someone could function is such gear. After the museum, we checked out Big Fun in the Coventry Road area of Cleveland Heights. It was a real joy to watch him rediscover the toys from his youth in Venezuela, even though he didn't find the one Go-Bot he really wanted: Turbo. Then, we had a relaxing lunch outdoors on the patio at Panini's. We took a quick driving tour of downtown Cleveland and headed back to Akron to meet my friend Missie for drinks at Bricco. Later that evening he beat me resoundingly in chess. (I used to be pretty good at that, dammit! Our first game was a massacre and the second went on for 1-1/2 hours before he finally defeated me. Egad.)

After that first weekend I decided I wouldn't let this bright, energetic young man rot in the guest house unattended. I made a deliberate attempt to spend time with him: having lunch or dinner together during the week and finding things to do on the weekends. I was rewarded in many, many ways. José is easily one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He truly enjoys his life and has a love of learning that reminds me of a younger (and vastly more attractive) me. Somewhere along the line, we became real friends.

(Attention cynics: I know all about the "halo effect" and its influence on perception. This guy charms and beguiles everyone he meets. That many people can't be wrong.)

The love of José's life is a beautiful young woman from San Sebastian named Cristina aka "Kiki." Working in England has separated the young lovers, forcing them to steal time on weekends travelling between Spain and England. Kiki managed to take two weeks to come to the U.S. and spend time with her amor. Their first weekend was spend seeing Chicago and their second weekend visiting Niagara Falls. In between, I spent some time with them, having dinner at Bricco, accompanied by Missie, or lunch at local haunts. Kiki was charming and delightful.

One fine evening they invited me to their casita for a dinner they cooked: skirt steak with diced onions and shitake and a salad that was delicious beyond description. We had some drinks and before I knew it, José was proposing marriage to Kiki. She was crying, he was crying, hell, I was crying. It was a night to remember. (And although I was a little weirded out by being part of it, I was honored as well.)

Portrait of a Happy Couple: José & Kiki

Kiki went back to Spain yesterday. José and I spent the day together, trying to distract him from missing her too much. Then this morning I took him to the airport to catch a 7 a.m. flight to Monterrey to work in Mexico for a week.

José returns next Saturday, just in time for the Memorial Day weekend. After that, he is with us for another week and then flies back to the U.K. and the rest of his amazing life. I will miss him terribly. He has added spontaneity and purpose to my life; I hadn't realized they were missing. He tells me I have to come to Spain for his wedding. If I'm invited, I will be there, come hell or high ticket prices.

Through José I have rediscovered my love of the Spanish language. I've been listening to latin reggae and Juanes and Juan Luis Guerra in my CD player. I've been drinking Polar malta and Polar cerveza, both acquired at La Borincana, the latin grocery in Cleveland's Ohio City neighborhood. And I have been loving and anticipating life again. It was at least in part due to his influence that I decided to step away from my boring and increasingly political office job and go back out into the field as a Sales Engineer. Who knows, I might even be able to talk my way into doing some international travel again.

Thanks, José, for reminding me how much fun life can still be! ¡Gracias mi amigo bueno -- eres una persona increible de verdad!

P.S. Don't tell him, but I managed to get my hands on an original "Turbo" Go-Bot, still in the package. That will be my "adios" gift to him.

Moobys Maraud Megacon!

2008-03-15T08:45:00.000-04:00

My Orlando trip is now just a memory. Here are some highlights:
Thursday, March 6 - Arrive in Orlando via Airtran, narrowly avoiding an ice storm back home. Pick up rental car after a longish wait and head to townhouse. Townhouse isn't ready, so get directions to local Publix grocery store to obtain alcohol and foodstuffs. Met there by roomies Nicole, her husband Joe and the spendiferous Tami. Eat lunch at a sub shop, then on to townhouse. Townhouse is FANTASTIC -- honey, roomy, welcoming. Settle into bedroom I will be sharing with Tami and Rob. Hang out for a bit until roomies leave for birthday party at local English pub for Boardie DouglasFir (Paul). I intended to join them in progress after meeting up with another Boardie, my dear friend Tammy, who happen to be in Orlando on business. Rob arrives at the townhouse and I chill with him for a bit, watching "Lost" until I get a text from Tammy to meet her at her Disney hotel. Drive in an unfamiliar state, in the dark, in the DRIVING rain. Hook up with Tammy (joy!) and have a drink in the bar, catching up on wedding plans, her new job and lifestuff. Can't convince Tammy to come to birthday party, but by the time we're done the party is over and everyone's back at the townhouse. Hang for a bit, hit the sack, ignore nocturnal goingson.

Friday, March 7 - Hang with roomies for a bit. Townhouse is located very close to convention center, so make the quick drive over and get Megacon bracelets, check out con for a bit. Drive roomies in the Taurus wagon I rented to Downtown Disney for group dinner at Planet Hollywood. Run through DD until reservation is ready and then sprint back to restaurant. Have excellent meal (L.A. Lasagna)and watch everyone else drink a lot, but can't imbibe because I'm designated. ARRGH! Drive drunks back to townhouse and greet final roomies: Terri and Brad.

Saturday, March 8 - Dress in Mooby gear and sit in traffic with Tami and Rob, waiting to get into Megacon. Sing through the entire CD of "Buffy: Once More with Feeling." (Awesome geek moment - although Rob didn't singalong, he was very patient and indulgent of Tami and I.) Walking into con, have youngish couple ask to have out photos taken with their children. Meet up with the rest of the Moobys for group photos before dispersing. Walk through con with Tami. (This is our true bonding experience.) Buy a cool print of Lost In Space casts - TV and movie. Go to media guest autograph area with the books and photos I brought and end up getting nothing signed. See "Garibaldi" from Babylon 5 just standing around -- not a guest, just hanging out at the con. He's taller than I thought, but still sexy. Arrange dinner at tapas restaurant, Cafe Tu Tu Tango. Again, act as designated driver. Have the black bean soup and try to converse over the really loud sound system. The artsy atmosphere is fantastic, but the ambiance is spoiled by the noise. Drive drunks back to townhouse, which becomes party central as remaining Boardies arrive. Have a few drinks, tire out and go to bed. Robbie has already left the party and we lay in our respective beds watching his Family Guy DVD.

Sunday, March 9 - Roomies do the park thing while I go back to Megacon and pick up some cheap figures and merch. Walk the con by myself, hoping to run into other Boardies, but don't. Attend "panel" by Mark Goddard of "Lost in Space." Sit amused and amazed by his stories and New England accent. Attend second panel with Gil Gerard (who looks good -- much better than he did at Wizard World a few years back)and Erin Gray. Leave con and go shopping for dinner: pot roast, veggies, salad, rolls, key lime pie and Deanna Troi sundaes. Prepare dinner and await Boardie return. Eat dinner (a success!) and then sit as a group and watch Shaun of the Dead with roomies. Go to bed, watching South Park marathon on TV with Rob and Tami.

Monday, March 10 - Say goodbye to Joe & Nicole, hang with roomies until they leave for Universal, then drive to Downtown Disney and do some shopping. Buy Disney Star Wars figs and make a lightsaber. Drive "home" and hang for a bit before driving to timeshare to pickup Gavin and Karen. Check out their digs, feed the ducks then drive back to townhouse, drink a bit and await return of roomies. Rob insists that after being the designated repeatedly, it's my turn to get effed up. So, we (Karen, Tami, Brad, Gavin Rob and I) drink all night, playing circle of death and getting pretty messed up. Go to bed at 4:30, knowing I have to get up in a few hours to drive to the airport. Rob and Tami moved into the vacant bedroom, so I have the room to myself. Sleep fitfully for one so inebriated.

Tuesday, March 11 - Wake early, shower, pack and wake roomies in preparation for being out of the townhouse by 10:00 a.m. Say sad goodbyes, then drive Gavin and Karen back to their timeshare. Drive alone to airport, turn in rental car, get through security and wait for flight, texting roomies and missing them horribly. Come back to Ohio, where I managed to avoid a blizzard and 1-1/2 feet of snow. Home from airport, I can't pull into driveway because it is blocked with snow and ice. Shovel for two hours before pulling in and unloading. Pick up Jake from kennel and settle back into "real world."

Yearn for return to Orlando and Board friends. Rinse. Repeat.

Seriously, my roommates, Nicole, Joe, Tami, Rob, Terri, Brad, Jake and Rebbecca were the bomb. I couldn't wish for better people with whom to share living space. And the other Boardies who spent time with me in Orlando (Gavin, Ben, Karen, Paul, Simon, and the rest) were beyond wonderful as well. Prom aside, this was one of the best vacations I've ever had.

My Glass Irish Heart

2008-02-13T09:03:00.000-05:00

As promised in my post on Sunday, here are a couple of photos of the glass heart paperweight I made at Akron Glass Works:

The top view shows the nice line created by dipping the second gathering of molten glass in the colored green sandy-like pigment. The swirl at the center is from the molded first gather, best viewed from the side:

The first gather is also dipped in pigment prior to being pressed into the fluted mold. The "bubbles" in the first and second gathers are created deliberately. The glass artisan can add as many as he or she desires. I used a light green pigment for my first gather and a dark green for my second. (It's an Irish thing...) The third and final gather was left clear.

Big fun!

Catching the Addiction to Hot Glass Artistry

2008-02-10T14:39:00.000-05:00

I made glass art today from molten glass and pigments. I think I may be addicted to working with hot glass.

Hi, my name is Tim and I'm a glass addict.

(Group responds, "Hi Tim.")

For months, I have been meaning to sign up for one of the hot glass workshops held at Akron Glass Works, in our Northside arts district. Last week, Sandy Holata, who works at the studio (and is a fabulous artist in her own right -- I have attended several of her photographic mixed media shows here and in Chicago) tracked me down through her mom, Marge, who is one of my dearest friends at work. I had expressed my interested to Marge last fall, but never followed up. This time, I made the call, put down my deposit and drove to Northside.

It bears mentioning that the weather today has been God-awful. We had a good bit of snowfall last night (including an eerie thundersnow storm) and today the frozen precipitation is being driven by blizzard-force winds.

So, I bundled up and drove to the studio. The glass artwork on display was gorgeous. Marge was also taking this workshop, where our project was to make a glass heart-shaped paperweight. Our instructor, co-owner John Boyett, explained the process thoroughly and used Sandy to make a demonstration heart. We got to select our own colors and work the hot glass under John's watchful supervision.

I selected a light green for my first layer, which is pressed into a fluted mold and then carefully rolled. I went with a darker green for my second gathering, which is rolled and heated in a furnace called a "glory hole." (I kid you not.) then, John adds the final gathering of molten glass and we shape it with a number of instruments to form the heart.

Our paperweights have to be cooled incrementally in a process called annealing, so I can't pick it up until Tuesday. As soon as I have it, I'll add a photo to this posting.

I can't wait to do this again! In the fall, there is a workshop to make glass pumpkins, a project that involves both shaping and blowing. There is another workship that makes "friendship balls" which are round, blown ornaments. Sandy said they are looking into doing pink ribbon paperweights as a Making Strides Against Breast Cancer fundraiser. I want to do them all!

Ah... I just realized I didn't post anything about the terrific time I had on the 31st, working again as an Extra on "Zack and Miri." Unlike the previous trip, this time I knew I'd be able to hang with friends, so I made a hotel reservation and decided to drive down the day before shooting and leave the morning after the shoot. Thanks to priceline, I got a $38/night rate at the Springhill Suites by Marriott, just minutes away from the Monroeville Mall, where we would be filming. I ended up sharing my room with a couple of "Boardies," Bill (Hoagie) and Karla, both Michigan natives.

Wednesday night, a group of Boardies drove into Pittsburgh to have dinner and drinks at the Carson City Saloon. They have a couple of HUGE drinks that seemed to garner favor among the alcohol-imbibing. I sampled each, but being a driver, couldn't afford to get sloshed. The jumbo "Call a Cab" wasn't bad, but not my favorite. However, the gigantic, sweet, blue "Papa Smurf" seemed to be everyone's favorite. Ben and Gavin had something of a drinking contest with these, which did not end well for Gavin. I had the ponderous fish sandwhich plate for dinner. And I got to chat with and generally socialize with folks from the Board who I never get to see often enough.

Our casting call was at 7:30 a.m. There was less paperwork to fill out as the Extras for this shoot were all volunteer. We each got a crisp, new $10 bill to buy lunch.

The experience was much like the previous one, although this time our holding area was the food court at the mall. And, many of my favorite Boardies were on hand to chat with and fill the downtime. I was surprised how many Extras from Mosser Casting came back for the volunteer call. Heather Beschizza, one of the "theatre folk" I befriended during the first shoot came back, and once again she was a delight to get to know. Throw in the zaniness of Adam, the quiet sweetness of Paige, the genuine wit of Mark (Chivas on the board), the rugged appeal of Dan (FantomaS) and the warm familiarity of Karla and Bill and you have the making of a really pleasant day.

After shooting, Bill and I grabbed showers, then dinner at Olive Garden before joining the crazies at the Raddison bar, where we finished out the night.

It was an amazing experience.

My Day as an Extra, Part 2

2008-01-21T06:29:00.000-05:00

(Part 1 recap: as of lunchtime, the score was: Scenes filmed with Extras = 0, Trips to set = 2, Hours spent in Holding = 6, Lunch = $8.75. Sheesh. But all that changed upon our return to Holding after lunch, at 2:00 p.m.)

So, those of us who were available grabbed our props and raced to the set. (The call was for 20 Extras, but the A.D. ended up taking everyone back from lunch early, and as we tromped to the set, more and more Background joined us as they saw the parade.) The A.D.’s staged us around the set, in this case the upper concourse of the mall, near a fabricated yarn-selling kiosk, where the small, blond stand-in was being tested. I was paired with a guy from the second group of Extras, a flight attendant for Southwest. Nice guy. We were directed to walk together, crossing from our set point by the tooth-whitening kiosk and walking down the opposite aisle. The director yelled “Background!” and we made our leisurely, pre-Christmas mall shopping way down the aisle until someone yelled “Cut!” And then we re-set and did it again. And again. And again.

It’s true – multiple takes are really the norm. I’m guessing even moreso when you are filming at a mall that is still open to the public and filled with loud, really inconsiderate members of the general public.

After this scene was in the can, ("Check the gate!") we were wrangled back to Holding, although not for very long. Within minutes we were brought back to the set, this time another area upstairs in the mall near Macy’s, the GNC and the escalators.

I was staged on the deck above the escalators with a young guy from Mosser with the straightest, whitest smile I had ever seen. We were supposed to be talking, which, of course meant fake talking. My cohort kept backing toward the railing so he could lean while he talked, forcing me to turn toward him and seemingly look into the camera. We were repositioned a couple of times before the A.D. pulled me because my light-tan jacket was a little too bright and distracting in the shot. At first I was a little taken aback, as I was sure I end up in the movie if this scene was used. But not being in the scene meant hanging back near the area Kevin was watching a monitor and directing his actors. This was bliss.

In the scene, Seth Rogen (Zack) and his friend, played by Craig Robinson, Darryl of “The Office,” are riding up the escalator and delivering some lines. It was fascinating, watching Kevin’s reaction to each take of delivered dialogue and then giving the actors very specific instructions on what he was looking for. While I watched, I also ran into Jason Mewes, who wasn’t acting that day, and Kevin’s mother-in-law, Gail.

After many, many takes and re-sets, Kevin got what he wanted and my little slice of nirvana ended. Once again we were taken back to Holding and almost immediately returned to the set – this time downstairs, but still near the escalators. Again we were set and given instructions on where to walk, where to cross, how fast to move. The same two actors were walking up the aisle delivering lines. Somehow, as I started from the opposite side and crossed behind them, I ended up almost immediately in their backs. This scene was shot from several directions, including an overhead shot.

This was also when the general public was at their worst. People just refused to be quiet for a few moments or not walk into a scene. You’d see the same kids walking into the shot over and over again, desperate for their 10 seconds of fame. People stood in clots watching, many of them in the shot. On more than one occasion, I had to vary my path on a re-take because some twit decided to stand directly in my path in the middle of the shot. The A.D.’s finally started incorporating some of the bystanders into the scene, following the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy. I know how frustrating this was for me, so I can only imagine what it was like for the crew.

Finally, Kevin got enough film and yelled “Cut!” and “Wrap.” We were done for the day and the production had completed its first day of shooting.

The Extras had their props collected and we were marched back to Holding to get signed out and sent on our merry ways. It was 7:20 PM. Earlier in the day, I helped one of the A.D.’s by prepping some forms, writing in the name of the production company (“Blue Askew Inc.”) and the name of the production (shortened to just “Zack and Miri”) on the forms all Extras used as their W-4 and I-9. When she checked me out, she remembered my name and thanked me, which I thought was a nice touch. I earned $7.15 per hour, PA state minimum wage, plus time-and-a-half for anything over 8 hours, not including our 1-hour walkaround lunch. They could have paid me nothing and I’d have been just as happy.

I went out to the dark parking lot, opened my car, got my keys from the visor and drove off without once being approached by Security. In fact, I didn’t even see anyone other than the other Extras getting into their similarly unlocked vehicles. At that point, I really didn’t care, since it all ended well.

Thus, my flocked car and I made the 2-hour drive back to Akron and home. When I was driving home, I switched on my cell (off due to the heavy schedule of filming all afternoon) and had a message from the casting company. The following day, Thursday, I got a call from Nancy Mosser apologizing for the lack of lunch the previous day. She also said, “The movie people want you back, so remember what you wore and bring some other outfits.” My adventure continues on January 31st, when I return to the Monroeville Mall and “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”

My Day as an Extra, Part 1

2008-01-19T08:29:00.000-05:00

Wednesday was a long (but interesting) day.

Note: I'm going to try to describe my experiences as completely as possible without giving away any plot details or actual dialogue from the movie. Bear with me. To read more about the production from The Man himself, check out his blog, HERE.)

My call time was 7:00 AM at the Monroeville Mall. So, I set my alarm for 3 AM and left the house at 4 AM so I had a little “lost time” in case my directions weren’t entirely accurate. Traffic was (not surprisingly) light and I pulled into the mall at just after 6:00. We were instructed to park and enter at the back of the mall, near Burlington Coat Factory. The production, with all its trucks and trailers, was pretty easy to spot. I pulled into a parking space and was greeted by an A.D. (Assistant Director) who told me to stay warm in my car until they needed me, around 7:15. Slowly, more extras joined our little section of the parking lot and by 7:00 we were a full complement of 20 “background actors.” Another A.D. came along and asked several of us to pull our cars over to a section of parking lot that was being sprayed with powdery fake snow and instructed where to park. The flocking truck then sprayed each of our vehicles and we were told to run the wipers so it looked like we just pulled in. Then, the A.D. told us to grab our wardrobe and forms and walk with her to Extras Holding. We were instructed to leave our cars unlocked and put the keys in the visor.

(I’m a city boy. My vehicle is always locked. Leaving mine unlocked all day made me incredibly paranoid, but I was assured that security would keep an eye on it.)

Allysa, the A.D. who was our wrangler for the day, took us to Extras Holding, and checked us in. Holding was an unheated room at the back of the mall with two small bathrooms adjacent. This was our base for the day. Extras are allowed to go to the bathroom and outside to smoke, but otherwise they are kept in Holding. After a few minutes, we were paraded back outside to the mini-metropolis of trucks and trailers to have our wardrobe approved. It was still dark outside. I grabbed my garment bag and trotted along. The wardrobe supervisor lined us up and then walked the line, pointing and saying, “Love it,” “Love it,” “Love it,” “Oh, that won’t do – do you have another shirt?” My shirt/sweater/jeans outfit got the nod. For the rest of the day, I never opened my garment bag with the additional three outfits we were required to bring, complete with shoes. Then, we went back to Holding to wait.

Around 8:00 we were called to the set – the hallway in the mall leading out to the portion of parking lot that had been prepared with fake snow. This proved to be a false alarm – The Powers That Be decided not to use us, so we trundled back to Holding. From our vantage point inside the mall, I could see a rusty pickup truck set-up in the shot with a female blond stunt double ("Second Unit") in the driver’s seat. The A.D. told us this would be a near-miss accident scene and they couldn’t have anyone outside. They thought they might be able to see into the mall and wanted to have people walking around, but the glass doors were opaque in the early morning sun.

(The “accident” thing didn’t make me feel any better about having my unlocked car parked so near the pickup. On the plus side, my car may make it into the movie even if I don’t.)

Back in Holding, the A.D. said they would bring us some breakfast from craft services. A truck pulled up with coffee, which I availed myself of immediately. Breakfast consisted of a half-dozen leftover muffins and some plain donuts that looked suspiciously well-handled. I decided to wait for the hot lunch promised on our call sheet.

I had plenty of time to talk to the other “background actors” and learned most of them were from Mosser Casting and had performed the same function in other movies, notably the as-yet-unreleased “Adventureland.” They were a pretty wide cross-section of humanity – all sizes, shapes and ages. There were soccer moms and college kids and an elderly couple dressed in their Sunday finest. Most were pretty friendly and somehow, I gravitated into a small group of theater people. We talked about shows we had been in and roles we had played. I felt terribly bohemian.

Props came in and gave most of us gift bags or wrapped presents to carry on set. Apparently, there had been an emergency call to get the Extras props as soon as possible. About an hour later, six extras were selected to be taken to the set. I wasn’t one of them. The six returned a while later, saying that they stood in another hallway and weren’t used. One lady, coincidentally also there from Kevin’s web board, was selected to go out to her car, get out and enter the mall. At 11:15, another group of 20 Extras arrived – all hastily called in by the casting company to hurry up and wait with the rest of us.

Around noon, Catering started putting condiments on our tables and I could smell food being set-up in the room next to our holding cell. Our wrangler assured us that lunch would be a delight: rosemary chicken, steamed veggies – the works. Around 12:30, Catering reappeared and took most of the folding chairs for use in the dining room, leaving us standing. At 1:15, a different A.D. dismissed us for a “Walkaround Lunch” and told we could go buy something in the mall food court and be back in Holding by 2:15. Yup, that was it. My theater pals and I went to a cheesesteak place and grabbed a quick bite before returning to Holding – just in time to be called to the set!

And this time, it was for real!

I'm Making "Porno" with Zack & Miri

2008-01-15T19:22:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning I'm driving to Pittsburgh to work as an extra in Kevin Smith's new movie, "Zack & Miri Make a Porno." We are filming at the Monroeville Mall and my call time is 7:00 AM!

I can't even begin to describe my elation! A friend of mine said the opportunity was "a dream come true" and at that exact moment, I realized it was.

I'll post again upon my return. Until then -- rejoice!

Vivid Dream: Mousecapade

2007-12-30T08:20:00.000-05:00

I had a whopper of a vivid dream last night.

I had written and was producing a TV pilot or filmed play. The cast was assembled and included professional actors and personal friends, notably from the ViewAskew board. Things were chaotic -- bits were filmed and we were in the process of doing a bedroom scene but needed some props.

One of those props was a live mouse. You have to understand something here -- I hate mice! I grew up in a housing project where mice were a daily fact of life: in the walls, under the beds, nibbling at the corners of boxes in the food pantry, running through the shower, etc. Both my brother and I came away from that experience afraid of rodents. Why I would write one into a script is clearly the stuff of dreams.

Anyway, several of us piled into a car to get a mouse for the scene. The star of the project, who seems to be an amalgam of actor Michael Rapaport and my friend Jim, was driving. I had a powerful emotional connection to the man. Accompanying us was my friend Tami from the VA Board and my dog, Jake.

We went to the mouse supply store and bought a small field mouse, fresh from the trap (!) but very much alive and packaged in a sanitary, white wrapper, like a prize from a cereal box. If you peered intently you could see the terrified little rodent inside, but otherwise it could be anything. Tami refused to hold the wrapped rodent and Michael/Jim was driving, so that left me. Jake was insanely curious about the packaging, thinking, perhaps that it was a wrapped Scooby snack and kept snapping the parcel out of my hand and into his mouth, without biting or chewing. I would pry the package out of his mouth, rescuing the dreaded critter from the literal jaws of death. Each time, I would hold the package up to the light to make sure the mouse was still alive, and each time it was.

My nerves were frayed. I had cast myself in a gay role in the production and was wondering if I should wear a pink polo shirt. I was in the upcoming bedroom scene and wondered how I would block everything out. Michael/Jim was driving (on an expressway) and kept talking to me in the backseat and taking his eyes off the road. I'd yell at him to pay attention to his driving and then tenderly place my hand on his shoulder to let him know I wasn't really angry. All the while, I'm fending off Jake who is intent on swallowing the packaged pint-sized rat.

I awoke both horny and with the heebie-jeebies.

According to dreammoods.com:
"To dream that you or someone is eating mice, indicates that there is something that has been nagging your conscience and you need to get off your chest."
Also:
"To see a mouse in your dream, indicates fear, meekness, and a lack of assertiveness. You possess feelings of inadequacy and not measuring up. Alternatively, it may symbolize minor irritations and annoyances."

I can't think of anything I need to get off my chest, but I have plenty of minor irritations and annoyances, especially at work. I'm gonna go with that one. Weird, huh?

Christmas Survey

2007-12-22T21:34:00.000-05:00

I hate cross-posting from MySpace, but a friend (Hi, Tami!) sent me this survey there. I really enjoyed responding it and it helped put me in touch with some of my feelings that were getting lost in the annual hustle and bustle. So, here goes, expanded a bit from the original:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
- I love the tactile gratification of wrapping with paper and adding ribbons and tie-ons and bows. I think presents should be almost too pretty to open, little works of art in and of themselves.

2. Real tree or artificial?
– Artificial. In fact, I have a silver aluminum tree and color wheel from the 60's.

3. When do you put your tree up?
- Usually the week after Thanksgiving, when I'm on vacation. If I'm not out hunting Bambi, of course.

4. When do you take the tree down?
- I grew up being told it was bad luck to take it down before the New Year. So, I usually put it away the first couple of weeks in January.

5. Do you like eggnog?
- Yes, in small doses. I make a pretty good nog with rum and/or Irish whiskey.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
– Musical xylophone train that then went around the base of our Christmas tree. There were color-coded keys you insert into the track to construct songs. The original didn't survive my turbulent childhood; but I found one, still in the box, on eBay a few years back.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene?
– Several, including the one that did survive my childhood (mostly) intact, a white ceramic nativity Avon sold a few pieces at a time over the course of a decade and one carved from olive wood from the holy land.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
- My brother; fucker won't put up a wishlist online

9. Easiest person to buy for?
– My friend Missy. I know her tastes and I can usually do well with alcohol. Also, this year I insisted my nephews have wishlists on Amazon, which made them much, much easier

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?
– Do "white elephant" gift exchange presents count? I always get hosed with those things. This year, I ended up with something called "Angel for Men parfum." Egad. I'm totally re-gifting it to my brother.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
– Again, I enjoy the tactile sensation of writing out cards, putting them in envelopes, etc. I usually send 30-50 each year. For the last several years I've also designed my own postage stamps to send to close friends and family. So far, only one person has noticed, but that made me really happy. (Thanks, Jim!)

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
– I'm a HUGE fan of the Rankin-Bass TV specials. My favorite is one almost no one remembers: The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold. I really enjoy Ron Howard's live action version of Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas

13. Colored Lights on tree/house or white?
– Colored on the tree (when I do a tree that requires lights) and white on the outside. I did a sci-fi tree one year by spraying a fake tree black and used white lights as "stars."

14. Do you hang mistletoe?
- Nope. My dog needs no such incentive.

15. Favorite things to eat at Christmas?
- Peppermint stick ice cream and McDonald's eggnog shakes. Both drive my lactose intolerance crazy, so they are "forbidden treats." Also, Christmas cookies. Any variety. How can you not love those?

16. Can you ice skate?
– Hell no. Nothing this large should be supported by two little strips of metal.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
- The Little Drummer Boy aka Carol of the Drum (MercyMe does an excellent version)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
- Home, but I have an open invitation to visit my friend Steve in New Zealand for Christmas and someday I'm going to take him up on it.

19. Can you name Santa's reindeer?
– Yes. But if I put 'em here you'll all be able to do it, too. I can also recite "Twas the Night Before Christmas (A Visit from St. Nicholas)" from memory. (Clement Moore originally named the seventh reindeer Donder, two D's, not Donner, btw...) How much do you want me now?

20. Do you have an angel on top or a star?
- On the silver tree, it's an ornament tree topper, which is kind of vaguely star-like; on the Oz tree, it's Glinda; on the Irish tree it's an angel (shamrocks on her robe, of course) and on the sci-fi tree it was Princess Leia.

21. Open the presents Christmas eve or Christmas morning?
- My family does it Christmas Eve. I'd prefer Christmas morning, like when I was a kid.

22. Snow! Love it or hate it?
– Love it until December 26th at which point it can go away until the next holiday season.

23. Do you like candy canes?
– Yeah, although I rarely eat 'em. I don't understand all the new flavors, though. Candy canes are peppermint, dammit!

24. Do you still believe in Santa Claus?
- Sadly, no. I wish I could recapture that innocence. I'd even settle for believing in the innate goodness of mankind, but I'm not sure I believe in that, any more either.

25. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
– Shopping. I live near a mall and it's insane. Thank God for the Internet.

That's it! Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year, peeps!

Escape from the Dream Zone

2007-11-11T09:47:00.000-05:00

I've been having some really unusual, vivid dreams recently.

Long ago, I learned that I am a lucid dreamer, able to intentionally shape the form of my dreams. I do this when good dreams go bad -- in the midst of a nightmare, I can change the outcome of the dream. Admittedly, once in a while they get away from me and more often than not I deliberately allow a nightmare to run its course. These often involve people with whom I have an emotional connection and I want to see if they are going to be safe or if I need to be aware of something back in the "real world." And, of course, some dreams are a pure mishmash of the previous day's events and thoughts and hopes and require no intervention whatsoever. Some are pure nonsensical fantasy and these are the ones I cherish the most.

I will also mention that I have a really high incidence of deja vu, which I attribute to my ability to lucid dream.

The other day, I dreamed about an old friend of mine, Tim Ganoe. Tim is my age, a tall, large-build bear of a man who has been a paramedic for decades. When I first met him, he was a cop and a paramedic. In my dream, Tim invited me over to see his new house. The house was really a mansion -- dozens of extravagantly furnished rooms, ostentatious, expensive, and completely unlike Tim. I was immediately suspicious.

Midway through his tour, Tim's new "roommate" came home. He was a dumpy, overweight, pasty-faced, completely unattractive guy. If there is a complete opposite to the kind of person Tim usually finds hot, this guy was it. Nice personality? Forget it. The roomie started screaming that Tim hadn't finished this chore and that and wondering aloud why he had time to socialize with me.

It suddenly occurred to me that Tim was this guy's houseboy. Mystery solved, I woke myself up.

Warning: The next dream has some sexual content and my not be appropriate for all blog readers.

Last night's dream was equally bizarre. It involved a guy I know from the ViewAskew Board. I wouldn't say I know this guy particularly well, but we met and partied together earlier this year, along with a couple hundred other "Boardies."

In my dream, we were at some VA event, although not the one we attended recently. We were at the hotel and there was a party going on. Somehow, he and I and two gorgeous women ended up in an adjoining room, having sex. And not just sex: hot, sweaty, acrobatic sex. Here's the kicker: he and his lovely lady were across the room from my beauty and me. And although I remember seeing the two of them go at it, there was no contact between the couples.

The sex was fantastic! It was, perhaps, the best I've ever had (in my dream, anyway.) Afterwards, we emerged into the next room, party still raging in full force, to the cheers and admiration of the revelers. At some point, the thought entered my mind that he paid these supermodels to have sex with us, but I didn't care. I remember telling people to stop applauding and congratulating us, but secretly I lapped up the attention. I woke up singing some ridiculous rhyme that is now lost to me.

Weirdness. Freud would have a field day with that last one. I don't know why the sudden onset of these vivid dreams, unless it has to do with the fitful sleep patterns brought on by my back pain. I'm not taking anything for the pain, so the dreams aren't chemically-induced.

Anyway, we had our first snow this week -- nothing measurable, just wet flakes flying around. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and having the holiday meal with my friends the Lelands. After that, it's a week of vacation. Bring it on!

Autumn Catch-Up

2007-10-20T08:40:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in about a month. Summer is officially over. The days are still largely warm, if often overcast, and the nights are cool. My yard is full of tiny, decaying crabapples, flavoring the crisp air with a tart-sweet smell. I've started filling the bird feeders almost every day.

Work sucks lately. There is more-than-usual drama and back-biting going on amongst the layers of management above me while below me, growing incompetence coupled with refusal to accept responsibility has erupted from several of the people who report to me. This is a toxic combination. Every night I go to sleep fantasizing about turning in my notice and every morning I wake dreading the thought of going to the office. Once upon a time I liked my job and my employer. Those days are gone, I fear. After almost 19 years, maybe it really is time to take my talents and dedication elsewhere. Any ideas, dear reader?

There have been several bright spots:
1. I'm teaching Advanced Sign Language at the Stow-Munroe Falls Public Library. A photographer from the local weekly, the Stow Sentry, came in and took photos, two of which have appeared in the different editions of the paper. Ironically, I was a reporter for the same paper several years back and got used to seeing my byline, but never my picture. Egad. The class is a blast! Last week, my friend Bunny came and spoke to my students. Bunny was in my first sign class more than a decade ago and went on to become a professional ASL interpreter.
2. I'm going to see comedian/ventriloquist Jeff Dunham in Lakewood on November 3rd.
3. For the third year (in a row) I'm participating in the VA Board's Secret Santa gift exchange. This is always fun.
4. I dragged out the Halloween decorations and dressed up the house. Even if I'm the only one who ever sees them.
5. I'm reading Center Square, the biography of Paul Lynde. After that, I anticipate Amazon will deliver the new Spenser novel by Robert B. Parker as soon as it is released.
6. I just got a new Zak Spears DVD that is rocking my world.

Well, having just completed my Saturday morning ritual of bagel, coffee and wireless Internet at Panera, it's time to buy a section of fence for my backyard, water the new dwarf bushes for my grandmother at the cemetery (don't ask) and get ready for margaritas and munchies with my friend Missie.

Another Summer Wanes

2007-09-15T08:26:00.000-04:00

The days are noticeably shorter, the nights appreciably cooler. Labor Day is long gone and autumn approaches. Soon, I will put away the patio umbrella and stack the chairs. Tiny crabapples already litter my yard from the tree that seemingly yesterday exploded with fragrant white blossoms.

If you are sensing melancholy, you may be right. Not sadness, really. I don't mind the march of the seasons. I don't associate them with creeping age or fearsome mortality. But I admit that I will miss sitting outside in the sunshine to post these little electronic signposts to my life.

(It's cloudy and quite cool this morning, so I'm sitting at Panera, having my usual asiago bagel with plain cream cheese and hazelnut coffee.)

What's new? Work is getting increasingly annoying. I know it's the domain of employment to suck the life out of employees, but shouldn't it reach some level of equilibrium after almost 19 years? Does anyone know of a decent-paying position for a talented writer/trainer/desktop publisher/sales manager? Heavy responsibility is no problem, but sanity and support from upper management would be kind of a nice change. Hell, I'd be happy if any of the managers in my department (all of whom make truckloads more money than I do) came in on a single Saturday or came in a couple of hours early to make life easier for their direct reports or recognized the contributions of the people they supervise even once.

I expect too much.

Ugh. Enough whining. What's good these days?

Good stuff:
* Buffy Season 8
* Doctor Who, Season 3
* Freema Agyeman (see above)
* Eureka
* eBay
* Jake (my dog - now with less skunk smell!)
* McDonald's hazelnut iced coffee
* The VA Message Board
* Choriqueso
* Pepcid AC (see previous)
* Vintage porn
* Zak Spears
* Asiago bagels
* Free wi-fi
* You, if you made it this far :-)

Ghoulardifest and Meeting Your Heroes

2007-09-01T19:57:00.000-04:00

I went to Ghoulardifest today and relived some wondrous memories from my youth.

If you don't recognise the name "Ghoulardi" you aren't from the Cleveland area or you are and you're too young to remember Ernie Anderson's late-night horror movie host and his antics. I'm just a tad too young, but I clearly remember Anderson's successors, Hoolihan and Big Chuck (Bob Wells and Chuck Schodowski, respectively.) Friday nights of my youth were spent in from a our small black-and-white TV set, watching wonderful comedy sketches interspersed between breaks in old horror movies.

The sketches included "Readings by Robert" (bad-funny poetry) enactments of popular novelty tunes (i.e., a very G-rated version of "The Streak" starring Art Lofredo) and many, many jokes at the expense of "a certain ethnic" character popularized and played for decades by Big Chuck. (The ethnicity was always understood to be Polish.) I remember many Friday nights, staying up after the 11:00 news on channel 8 to watch Hoolihan and Big Chuck, even after Wells left for warmer climes and Lil' John Rinaldi took his spot.

(There were other horror show hosts on different Cleveland stations -- The Ghoul on channel 61 and Superhost on channel 43m but they didn't have the good-natured appeal of Hoolihan & Big Chuck/Big Chuck & Lil' John.)

Bob "Hoolihan" Wells, "Big Chuck" Schodowski and "Lil' John" Rinaldi at Ghoulardifest

Recently, Chuck Schodowski retired from television with a prime time TV special. I missed much of the show, so I decided to haul myself out to Medina and see if I could pick up a DVD of the show and maybe, just maybe meet my long-time TV heroes.

(Priscilla Barnes and Joyce Dewitt of TV's Three's Company were also guests and I really wanted to add Barnes' autograph to my Mallrats DVD signed by Kevin Smith. Of course, I did this knowing I'd have to pay for the privilege, but hey, that's how some of these folks make their living these days.)

Long story short, I bought the "End of an Era" DVD and had Chuck, John and Hoolihan all autograph the case. I shook hands with each of them and thanked them for so many years of entertainment and for imparting such wonderful childhood memories. They are all much older than I remember them, of course, but all very vital and sharp. Actually, Lil' John looks much the same. Chuck has a firm handshake. Bob Wells seemed genuinely touched by my comments.

"Hoolihan" looked over the DVD of a program he had not yet actually watched and pointed to an actress he knew had passed away recently. "We're dropping like flies," he said with just a touch of sadness in his voice. I replied, "But you'll live forever, right?" "No," he said with a smile, "it will just seem that way."

There were plenty of other vendors at Ghoulardifest, offering up horror fare and local nostalgia. Next year, I'll take more money. There was a stage show and a little theatre showing various Hoolihan, Big Chuck Lil' John DVD's. There was a 60's Batmobile recreation and a Lost In Space B-9 Robot. It was actually a nice little, largely local convention.

Sometimes, meeting your heroes and finding them to be human can be a really positive experience.

VA Weekend Redux

2007-08-11T11:14:00.000-04:00

It's been a week now since the fun and festivities in Red Bank. I still my my friends from the View Askew web board, but life is returning to a semblance of normalcy. So here are some random Good Thing/Bad Thing memories from last weekend:

Good Thing: Seeing so many Boardies I knew again at the Dublin House before Thursday's Q&A.

Bad Thing: It was really hot upstairs and most people fled to the outdoor patio, where smoking was permitted.

Good Thing: I found out my seat at the Q&A was right next to my first Secret Santa, Zeta. She's a marvel.

Bad Thing: When I came back from the concession stand with bottled water for Zeta, Drena and I, Drena was in my aisle seat. She looked at me and said, "No, I'm sitting here. You're sitting over there," indicating her seat further in the aisle. Zeta, sweetie that she is, then asked, "Is it okay if you switch?" Despite the fact that I deliberately bought an aisle seat 'cuz I'm a big guy, I couldn't resist Zeta's charms. Of course, ten minutes into the Q&A, Drena disappeared and never returned. I didn't know that, so the seat I really wanted sat empty for almost the entire evening.

Good Thing: Sitting in Drena's seat placed me next to another Boardie -- the incredibly sexy Rob, with his towel and sandals. I immediately forgave Drena.

Good Thing: I offered my friend Adam a ride back to the hotel from the Q&A.

Bad Thing: I got lost. I always get lost in Jersey. The problem is, I only go every couple of years, just enough time to forget my bearings. I always try using the Mapquest directions that involve getting on the Garden State Tollway instead of the much-easier two-turn directions Ming always shares. Still, we eventually made it back, after a few missed turns.

Good Thing: Taking my friends Tanya and her hunky husband, Chris, into Red Bank with me for a pilgrimage to The Secret Stash and then following Ming's suggestion and getting lunch at a little Italian place called the New Corner.

Bad Thing: The dish I ordered at lunch had a LOT of garlic on it. My olfactory sense is still a bit addled by recent events and the pasta smelled like skunk. I still ate it of course and the taste was wonderful.

Good Thing: Being able to pick up some VA merch I'd been wanting, but knowing I could get it signed at The Stash.

Bad Thing: Going back to my car and discovering a parking ticket, despite having 2 hours and 2 minutes left on the meter!

Good Thing: Upon seeing me at the Browncoats Askew Big Damn Prom Shindig bash, my friend Gavin said, "You look younger."

Good Thing: Enjoying every single minute of the BCA bash, although I didn't watch that much Firefly. I stuck around and helped Tami and Gavin clean up.

Good Thing: Changing, then going down to Kelvin's birthday soiree in Morgan's. I wasn't there long before the party got hooked to another location, but I got a big hug from Chay as she was leaving. I decided I had imbibed enough and went to bed. The hotel had Sci-Fi, so I think I fell asleep to Doctor Who.

Good Thing: I sat around in the lobby Saturday, chatting with Boardies and eventually went into Morgan's for some lunch. The service left something to be desired, but the club sandwich was pretty good. As I sat munching and reading some comics, the Beeftrain Incident guys joined me. God, these cats reminded me of me in my mid-to-late 20's.

Bad Thing: When I went back to my room to get ready for prom, there was NO HOT WATER! My room was pretty cool from cranking the AC, so the cold shower was not fun.

10,000 Good Things: Prom. 'Nuff said.

The drive home, feeling hungover and dehydrated wasn't exactly fun, but worthy penance for the night before. I stupidly almost ran out of gas in PA, doing that, "I can make it one more exit" thing. Note to self: Exits on I-80 in Pennsylvania can be few and far between. Idiot!

As you can tell, Good Things vastly outweighed the minor annoyances I encountered last weekend. Heck, I chalk these up to the little bad things all of life throws at us every day to help us appreciate the positives.

And, speaking of positives, here is my little tribute to the Hunks of VA Prom 2007:

Not a comprehensive representation by any means, but taken from the photos I have on hand. I'll work on a Hot Ladies of VA Prom when I've had more coffee. There's more to choose from, in my humble opinion.

VA Prom: Never Say Goodbye

2007-08-06T08:17:00.001-04:00

Kevin Smith's View Askew prom was 10,000X better than my own prom ever was. I spent the entire evening with people I genuinely liked, drank to my heart's content (and my wallet's lament) ate fantastic food, danced and genuinely had a blast.

I rented a vintage, light green tux at Mr. Fun's, as shown above, which garnered a good deal of interest. Thing was, it was mostly polyester and hot as a sauna-suit. Ah, the things we do in the name of fashion.

Everyone was greeted as they entered prom by Kev, his lovely wife, Jen, and adorable daughter, Harley. The Grand Ballroom at the Holiday Inn was decorated in a Hollywood theme (what else?). Attendees had the option of getting professional photos taken. Dinner was a fantastic buffet -- one of the best I've ever sampled. And trust me, I've sampled a lot. Kevin announced that the Mister Softee truck was parked behind the ballroom and soft serve was free for the next two hours. The hotel also provided dessert -- a selection of cheesecakes, pastries and a cupcake tree with little "37's" on the cupcakes.

Then the dancing began -- totally 80's style. After several hours of dancing, karaoke was served up hot and delectable. I will never forget my friend Zeta's singing or Malcolm's version of Elvis.

I snuck away a couple of times with Dave & Dave (Captain Whacky and Mr. Plough) the Beeftrain Incident guys, for Irish Car Bombs. When the prom shut down at 1:00 a.m., we went back to the room for more drinking and B.S.ing until the wee hours. I have no idea what time I finally staggered back to my own room.

I awoke the next morning still pretty buzzed and dehydrated, but needing to start the long drive home. Thank God for Big Finish audio.

Honestly, I'm still basking in the afterglow of the weekend. I can't remember having a better time -- possibly ever. I know that makes me sound like I've lead a sheltered, uneventful life, but that's not true. This was just one helluva kick-ass weekend!

2007 Red Bank Adventure: Day 2 BCA Party

2007-08-04T21:39:00.000-04:00

There weren't any "official" ViewAskew events on Friday, but there were plenty of unofficial ones. I spent the morning hanging out in the hotel lobby and restaurant and hooking up with old friends. Then, I went into Red Bank with my friend Tanya and her husband, Chris. We made the obligatory stop at the Secret Stash and then had lunch at The New Corner for some really excellent Italian food.

The only negative of the weekend occurred when we got back to my car. Despite still having 2 hours and 2 minutes on the meter, I somehow got a parking ticket for having an expired meter!

Then, back to the hotel in time for the Browncoats Askew (BCA) party, also known as the Big Damn Prom Shindig. This was fantastic! Not only did I get to spend time with some of my favorite people AND make new friends AND win fabulous prizes, the group raised $500 for charity! I even managed to watch a couple of episodes of Firefly. I was one of only two people to wear their knit Jayne hats. Considering that it was still friggin' hot out and the room's AC couldn't keep up with all the body heat being generated, I had to take it off frequently.

Door prizes included an actual Fruity Oaty Bar, like those in the Serenity movie, a Chinese takeout box chock full of all kinds of chochkes, fortune cookies with Firefly-themed fortunes, and more. I won three raffle prizes; a copy of Serenity #1 signed by Nathan Fillion, a copy of Firefly #2 signed by Ron Glass and a signed photo of Nathan and Morena. I also managed to snag a Firefly shot glass! Quite a haul!! Throw in pizza and booze and it was an evening of 100% pure fun.

At 8:00 the BCA shindig wound down and a birthday party for Kelvin, a cute young Scottish Boardie, started in the hotel lounge. I went down for a bit of that until about midnight, when it was time for this old fart to call it a night.

Did I mention that some of the guys I met at the BCA party introduced me to a new drink obsession? It's called an Irish Car Bomb. You drop a shot glass of 1/2 Bailey's and 1/2 Jameson's into a glass of Guinness, then chug it. Delicious and oh, so bad for you! Kudos to the guys from The Beeftrain Incident for hooking me up with these!

2007 Red Bank Adventure: Day 1 Recap

2007-08-03T10:25:00.001-04:00

It is freakin' hot in Jersey.

Seriously, it was like 100 degrees yesterday, when I arrived in Red Bank, NJ, for the Kevin Smith Birthday Extravaganza weekend. Just carrying my luggage from the car into the hotel had me drenched in sweat. (Okay, the 50 pounds of blubber I carry with me at all times probably contributed to that as well, but...) Fortunately, the cleaning staff here at the Holiday Inn Tinton Falls had the AC cranked all the way up in my room.

I agree with the demon Azrael, in Kevin's film Dogma: "No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater, than central air."

After resting for a few short minutes from the 7-1/2 hour drive (with only one bathroom break and one stop for petrol) I went into Red Bank, stopped at The Stash to pick up my name badge and then went to a local pub, The Dublin House, for the web board meet-up. I saw many of my favorite people, especially Tanya, Karla & Cheryl and met a few more Boardies I hadn't actually peeped before.

Then, it was off to Kevin's Q&A at the Count Basie Theater. This special birthday Q&A show was being recorded for release on DVD. So keep your eyes peeled for the latest seconds-long installment in my 15-minutes of fame, people! The Q&A started at 7:00 p.m. with Kevin's wife, Jen, and daughter, Harley, introducing The Man and leading the sold-out crowd in singing "Happy Birthday to You." The Q&A went on for about seven (!) hours. After a confusing, weary drive back to the hotel (I always get lost in Jersey!) I chit-chatted with some Boardies until the wee hours and then collapsed into bed in my icy cool room.

Today: Pick up prom tickets, wander around Red Bank and then the Browncoats Askew party! Can't wait!!!

The Skunk Whisperer

2007-07-20T20:16:00.000-04:00

Jake got skunked last night.

It wasn't his first encounter with mephitis mephitis or common striped skunk. A few weeks back, he woke me at 3:00 a.m., wanting to go out to the back yard. Upon releasing him through the sliding glass door to my patio, he ran right to a dark patch in the yard and then sprang back. That was a bad sign. I flipped on the patio light, only to see a good-sized skunk running right toward me. If I closed the door, Jake was stuck outside with the polecat. If I didn't, the critter either sprayed me or ran inside the house or both. I gave Jake a stern call and he ran right past the skunk and into the house. I slid the door shut and turned off the light. Even through the closed windows, I could smell the animal's fetid stench all night.

But, no one got sprayed and the smell went away after a day or so. No harm, no foul and luck was felt all around. For a while, I flipped on the light before letting him out, but eventually allowed myself to be lulled into believing Stinky moved on to greener pastures. Or at least, someone else's back yard.

Last night, around 10:00 p.m., I let Jake out for his usual last potty break of the evening. Again, he ran to a dark corner even further out in the yard and jumped back. A quick flick of the light switch revealed that LePew had struck again. And once again, he was running right toward me - fast!

Jake refused to come this time. I could already smell the acrid odor expelled from the damn skunk's anal glands. I guessed Jake had already gotten a dose. Repeated and increasingly stern calls went unheeded. He followed the skunk from a respectable distance. And the skunk was advancing on me. It finally stopped at the edge of the patio and just stood there, looking at me.

One last, desperate cry got Jake's attention and he bounded into the house. The skunk just stood there, sniffing the air and sizing me up. Quickly, quietly but without panic, I closed the glass door and turned to Jake to assess the damage.

He actually wasn't sprayed too badly. He obviously had gotten a few drops on his nose, but as far as I could tell, that was it. Several baths later (one each with dog shampoo, people shampoo, tomato juice and liquid hand soap) and he still smelled pretty bad, though a teensy less pungent. At around 3:00 a.m. I gave up, toweled him off and tried to get a little sleep.

That smell just keeps coming back at you. I never prayed for olfactory fatigue so much in my life.

This morning, I got ready for work, thinking the smell had largely dissipated. After a trip to my car, I realized my mistake upon re-entering the house. The smell almost knocked me over. So, I dropped Jake at daycare, put in a couple of hours at the office and came home to scrub carpets and upholstery and wash towels and linens.

The smell is a little less intense, but still present. I managed to decontaminate Jake this evening and a few furnishings using a mixture of peroxide, baking soda and hand soap I found on Wikipedia. Every time I walk outside and come back in, I'm reminded that all my efforts have yielded limited results.

Now, both times I encountered this skunk, it ran to me without a threatening posture. This has caused me to postulate that either the critter's name is Jake and he's just being really, really obedient, or my secret skill is being a Skunk Whisperer.

Just my luck...

Sexiest Shakespeare Yet

2007-06-29T23:11:00.000-04:00

I have to admit that while studying Shakespeare throughout high school and college, I never conjured a particularly attractive image of the man himself. Brilliant? Certainly. Enviable genius wordsmith? Indeed. Handsome? Not so much. Not even the rumors that some of his sonnets were allegedly written for male lovers was enough for me to give The Bard a second thought as a man.

Then, in 1998 I saw the film Shakespeare in Love. Actor Joseph Fiennes made me rethink my image of Will. He was young and handsome and, well, hot. (And his character was friends with another actor Ned Alleyn, played by ViewAskew alum Ben Affleck. Two hotties for the price of one movie.)

Alas, handsome as he is, Fiennes doesn't really trip my trigger, so Shakespeare was relegated to the back of my mind once again.

Until yesterday. Yesterday I got a DVD in the mail from a friend of mine in the U.K. with the first two episodes of the third "new" series of Doctor Who. The second episode was entitled "The Shakespeare Code" and featured an actor who will now be burned into my memory as the permanent image of The Hot Bard: Dean Lennox Kelly.

Kelly's Shakespeare is a fully bearded, hairy chested, bear of a man. His rock star swagger as The Bard is engaging and um... arousing. Of course, once I finished watching the episode (I love the new Who series, by the way -- RTD is a genius!) I hit the 'net to learn as much about him as I could. I leave you to do that for yourself, dear reader.

But do yourself a favor: when Sci-Fi starts showing the new Doctor Who episodes, make sure you catch "The Shakespeare Code." The story, full of witches and historical references and fun, is reward enough. But Dean Kelly is the reward within the reward.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate,"
-Sonnet 18

Another Glorious Spring Weekend

2007-06-10T16:01:00.000-04:00

Today is fabulous. The weather is sunny, but neither too hot (mid-70's F) nor too humid. I finsihed my yard work yesterday, so this morning I had breakfast, drank coffee (Stewart's Hazelnut, my latest caffeinated obsession) and read the newspaper on my patio.

As part of my Sunday routine, I filled my bird feeders, although with Jake and me nearby, only the most courageous of birds fed until after we went inside. Usually, I see blue jays and cardinals and sparrows and thrushes, perhaps the occasional morning dove. Today was unusual. I was sitting at the table on my patio, Jake beside me, and suddenly a duck -- a mallard -- drops into the yard, waddles over to the feeder (quacking all the while -- in my experience, ducks are never silent,) and nibbled at some of the sunflower seeds and grains that had fallen to the ground. I restrained Jake from chasing it off, and to his credit he never barked or charged. I was fascinated that a waterfowl would come to ground so far from any body of water, let alone in such an urban setting. (A few years ago, a deer visited my backyard, but that's another story.) Eventually, the duck finished nibbling and started to exhibit leaving behavior, so I "released the hound" and Jake made his dominance known.

Then I did some trimming/pruning of the apple tree in my yard to make it easier to perform lawn care beneath it (and encourage grass growth,) then came in for a cool shower (glorious!) and a cold beverage. It seemed like a good time to post a blog, as well.

This week, I started teaching a sign language class at the Stow-Munroe Falls Public Library with my deaf friends Beverly and Bob. Nothing gives me greater joy than teaching sign. Truly.

Oh, and through persistence and the expenditure of more money on eBay than I care to think about, I finally completed my set of Legion of Super-Heroes figures. Check it out:

Have I mentioned that one of my favorite LSH websites is hosted right here on Blogger? I read The Legion Omnicom religiously. It reminds me of reading The Legion Outpost in my younger days.

Enough indoors, already! I think I'll go out and wash my car. Peace.

Memorial Day Weekend

2007-05-28T15:01:00.000-04:00

In America, the summer season is framed by two holidays: Memorial Day and Labor Day. Although summer doesn't start officially for another month, you'd never know that in Northeast Ohio. The days are warm with occasional showers and the evenings are cool. Today has been gorgeous. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the air smells of freshly mowed grass and barbecues.

Saturday, my brother, Tom, my youngest nephew, Pat and I took up our grandparents' tradition and went to the cemeteries and trimmed around headstones, washed markers and left flowers. In addition to my grandparents and my Mom, we also located my biological grandfather's grave (Arthur C. Holland) in Cuyahoga Falls and my great-uncle's (Russell Foster) almost-overgrown headstone in the same cemetery as my friend Mark Willsey. Although I never met Art or Russell, they live in the memories of the stories my grandmother told. I also made a sabbatical to my friend Sean Cannon's grave in Uniontown.

Yesterday I did some lawn work, and visited my friends Jim & Marlo Nighman at their new house. The actual move is next weekend, so they were busy painting and cleaning. Then last night, I watched my own Firefly mini-marathon, catching the following episodes: "Jaynestown," "Out of Gas," "Ariel," "Trash," "The Message" and "Objects in Space." No matter how many times I watch this program, it never ceases to grab my attention. Amazing stuff.

So far today I've clipped some hedges, fed the birds, played online and took one of the most relaxing naps ever. Jake is a bit out of sorts -- this morning he was all set to go to daycare, not to have his Dad around the house all day. I really need to buckle down and get my materials together for the ASL class that starts next week. I still need to clean up the code on my Charon's Map web pages and add two more for Art Holland and Russell Foster.

It's just so damn pretty outside! I'd much rather sit on the patio with a cool drink in my hand and my faithful canine lifemate at my feet. What to do, what to do?

Charon's Map

2007-05-13T09:20:00.000-04:00

Spring has finally sprung in Northeast Ohio. I've already mowed grass twice and it really needs it again. The patio furniture is cleaned and the umbrella is in its perch. Hell, I've even killed my first batch of ants foraging in my kitchen -- it must be spring!

I recently finished a web project I've been working on for more than a year. I hope to have it online before Memorial Day, as it was originally intended in 2006. This might seem a tad... morose, but bear with me.

I'm usually not much for paying my respects to the dead. I've visited the gravesites of my friends Mark and Sean sporadically over the years, as well as those of my grandparents. But it's always kind of an ordeal. I can never remember exactly where they are buried and then I have to tromp around cemeteries, looking at headstones and hoping I'm even in the right section.

I made a concerted effort to get better at this back in Spring, 2005. It had been so long since my last visit to the graves of my grandparents (buried in different cemeteries with their respective previous spouses) that I actually had to stop at the offices and get maps. The folks in both places were very helpful and as I started to gather this documentation, an idea germinated. To avoid having to go through all that again, I should scan the documents, take some photos and create an online guide to where my friends and family reside in perpetuity.

See, told ya, morose, right?

I kept the documents, made some notes on where Mark and Sean are buried and promptly forgot about the whole thing. Then in September of that same year, my mother passed away and I had another reason to think about commemorating the dead. So last Memorial Day, I bought fake flowers for all the people who have passed through my life and left an indelible impression and set out to record their burial places and monuments. They are scattered around five different cemeteries in four different communities. But I have them all.

My brother and I recently had a headstone set for my mother and new vases installed on her grave and on my grandmother's grave as well. It seemed like the right time to create the web pages and upload them, linked through my personal website. The pages are done, though I used Microsoft software to create them, so I need to go into the HTML and strip out all the superfluous "dirty" code before posting.

I'm calling the group of pages Charon's Map, an homage to my love of Greek mythology. Charon ferried the souls of the dead (who could pay the fare, the reason Greeks were buried with coins on their eyes) down Acheron (the river of woe), then down the Cocytus (the river of lamentation), into the Lethe (the river of forgetfulness), through the Phlegethon (the river of fire) and on to the Styx (the river of hate) to arrive at the gates of the underworld, where they were greeted by Cerberus, the three-headed Hound of Hell. (If any of this sounds familiar, rock bands, television and films have been borrowing this imagery for many years.)

So what do you think, dear reader? Is this too somber, too obsessive? Should the dead be left in the ground and forgotten, their lives commemorated through the memories of their days in the sunshine?

Winter 2007, Mach II

2007-04-06T08:36:00.000-04:00

Good Friday, April 6, 2007
'Nuff Said.

Geek Room Update

2007-03-11T12:44:00.000-04:00

The big push was to get my Geek Room finished before my guests arrived for the Kevin Smith event. Now that that has come and gone, I've been making little adjustments to the room -- mostly to satisfy my OCD, er.. I mean sense of aesthetics.

I added a Phoenix poster to the front of the door, since I couldn't find a good "Abandon Hope..." sign. Why? Because Jean Grey and the original Phoenix saga rocked!

Nothing much different when you first enter the room. Seeing my Spock bear wearing GIANT headphones always gives me a guffaw. And I added my Jayne hat, which every true Browncoat will recognize.

As I mentioned in my original Geek Room post, I moved one of the "V for Vendetta" posters to complement the wall grouping I already assembled. The Venom black light poster doesn't currently have a new home. Instead, I hung...

The "Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder" poster I got from a fellow VA Board member. Kev, after all, is The Man.

I rearranged some things on the bookcases and took this photo to document them.

It wasn't until I started assembling my Geek Room that I realized how much Green Arrow and Green Hornet stuff I had. GA has long been one of my favorite characters; something about blonds with beards and hairy chests wearing tights just does it for me, I guess. Who knew?

And here's a close-up of my Justice Society of America figures. Roy Thomas has long been one of my favorite writers and I consider his run on the JSA as the definitive work on the group. It was certainly his work that made me a fan of the group, throughout its many incarnations.

That's it for now. It's a sunny, relatively warm day here in Ohio and I thin Jake and I will take advantage of that fact. Geek Room be damned!

Afterglow: The Kevin Smith Q&A

2007-03-03T09:13:00.000-05:00

Photo by Karla

So, after months of anticipation, I attended Kevin Smith's Q&A at EJ Thomas last night. My brother scored me four "VIP Seating" tickets, which allowed my little group (Tammy, JR and Tanya) our pick of seats down front. (HUGE props to Tom, my bro.) We chose third row center, so we weren't looking up Kev's nostrils. As it was, we lost everything but the top of his head when he stood at the podium -- which he did very infrequently, lucky for us.

Now I've seen Kevin do the Q&A thing several (bordering on many) times. I've met him numerous times, shook his hand, talked to him. But there was something really special about having him in my hometown. He was looking resplendent, still on his Optifast liquid diet and totally lickable.

The quality of questions was better than at some previous events I've attended. The two guys from the university who introduced Kevin had people look around to see what a sold out event at EJ Thomas looked like, .

My only real complaint about the venue, other than the 3-hour time limit, was that they blocked out the entire first 6 entranceways (I'm guessing several dozen rows) for VIP ticket holders, which left a lot of empty seats right up front. As an usher, I knew they usually wait until just before the start of the lecture and let people "fill in." Last night. this created a mini stampede and generated more confusion than I thought was really necessary. I'm not sure how to avoid it though -- what speaker/performer wants to stare at a bunch of empty seats down front?

You could tell Kev is still coming off of Clerks 2 as he mentioned that project several times, including the fact that he thought it was his best work to date and that Jeff & Brian are his favorite onscreen pairing, over even Affleck & Lee.

Highlights off the top of my head:

Gavin, from the VA Board, aka TearsInRain, was the first person to ask a question. As he spent the entire day shepherding Boardies and generally being the kind generous guy he is, the fact that he was first makes me believe in karma just a bit more. He actually had pint glasses made commemorating the event for everyone from the Board. Incredible.

One of Kevin's early stories involved meeting George Clooney, who was upset about a negative review on Kevin's old website moviepoopshoot.com -- a review not written by Kevin himself. Kevin talked about looking for something to hit Clooney with -- a folding chair, anything, because he knew if it came to blows, Clooney could take him. I'd heard the story before, but it is always a killer.

I may never think of Vin Diesel the same way again.

I hadn't heard Kevin's Jennifer Garner/Tim Olyphant "Catch & Release" story live. It's a tad long, so I won't recount it here, but apparently Ms. Garner, upon hearing that her Man, Ben Affleck, forgot his personal assistant's birthday, believes that "it's the responsibility of the person having the birthday to let people know it's their birthday." Egad.

Kevin was making the point that no director always, consistently delivers groundbreaking films, which started a long barrage of people yelling out names ("Kubrick!" "Scorcese!" "Lucas!") and Kevin giving his reactions to some of their films.

In the middle of answering a question, Kevin spotted a little old lady in the audience and was amazed that she stayed as long as she had. She was attending with her son, filming the event and made a remark about liking glass tables, which was priceless.

Kevin told a long story about learning to suck his own cock when he was younger and discovering that the taste of his own jizz made him realize he could never be gay. This was the final straw for most of the senior citizens in attendance. Quietly, in groups of twos and threes, they filed out of the theater. I have to admit it was funny and not at all surprising.

Kevin finished the evening with a story about his wife being constipated due to a taking Vicodan after some surgery. After hearing about her "impacted fecal matter," I may never look at Rudolph and see Yukon Cornelious the same way again. Ever.

There was much, much more of course. I got to see the always-resplendent Karla and meet some folks from the Board I hadn't met before. And I got to hang with my peeps, who are still here as I type. It has been a terrific couple of days.

Countdown to Kev: 48 Hours

2007-02-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

The event I've been anticipating for months will soon be upon me: Kevin Smith in Akron. I'm hosting some of my favorite people from the VA Board: Louiegirl, her boyfriend, JR, and bitteroptimist. In anticipation, I have been cleaning and straightening and generally trying to make ready with the hosting.

Not much else to say, except I can't wait! Kevin is one of my personal heroes, so getting to see him in my own town is sublime. Like a kid anticipating Christmas, I know it will all be over in a few hours, but I'm savoring the experience nonetheless.

I will post a complete recap after Kev's Q&A.

Behold, True Believer: The Geek Room!

2007-02-24T10:59:00.000-05:00

It's taken me months to clear out my spare bedroom, clean it after years of disuse and abuse and turn it into a shrine to my obsessions (and infrugal spending -- is infrugal a word?). I'm still tweaking some things, so I may swap out some of these photos as the room develops. This post is pretty graphics-intensive, so give it a chance to load before you start typing whiny complaints :-)

The Geek Room Door
With a sign I bought at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash in Red Bank, New Jersey. It's signed by Walt Flanagan. If you don't know who he is, you're not a Smith fan. I've been trying to find a good "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here" sign to add.

Inside Entrance
Yes, that's an original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers poster. The original Rangers rocked! Especially that Red Ranger, Jason. On the left there is a Superman Returns 2007 calendar and a Daredevil movie figure. You can see it from this angle, but there is a Star Wars Episode 1 poster on the right-hand wall, behind the door.

First View
What can I say? Superman was always one of my favorites. The moon chair is for reading and listening to vinyl.

To Your Left...
Movie and comic posters adorn the walls and the doors to the closet. The line of photos above the closet door and around two walls are all signed pictures of actors from comic-inspired movies or TV shows. It has taken me years to get all these together and I'm always seeking opportunities to get more. I'm probably going to swap the Venom black-lite poster for one of the V for Vendetta posters and make that short wall beside the closet all Vendetta.

V for Vendetta Grouping
Currently, I have a photo signed by Hugo Weaving, a V action figure and a V mask. This Alan Moore story has been my favorite for many, many years. I've worn out two copies of the graphic novel.

Long Wall
Sci-fi posters, including the brilliant Serenity and the not-too terrible Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Left Wall Beside Window
More photos and posters. The left portion of the room is also home to my comic book collection.

Bookshelf One
This small bookshelf hold comics-related books, graphic novels, Alan Moore-written comics and some of my larger figures. The wall shelf holds the original series of Star Trek animated starship Christmas ornaments by Hallmark.

To Your Right
Three more bookshelves, including the largest that holds my vinyl LP collection.

Bookshelf Three
Books on sci-fi and Wicca, Star Wars Pez dispensers, various figures, including a Red Power Ranger figure signed by actor Austin St. John.

Bookshelf Four
More Pez dispensers, my Justice Society figures (all unpackaged and worthless -- bite me) and my animatronic Lost In Space robot. And yes, a boxed roll of Spider-Man and Hulk toilet paper.

View-Master Collection
The shelves on the wall above the bookshelves houses my View-Master collection that includes viewers and reels from the 1940's to present. I tend to collect specific topics, like figural viewers, Christmas, science fiction, super-heores, etc.

Work- station
Nothing terribly exciting here, unless you count my Opus the penguin telephone.

Special Emphasis
Original comic art from Astro Boy #1, Astonishing X-Men #1 (two covers) signed by Joss Whedon and other signed items.

Long Boxes
The real measure of the depth of my depravity. Forty long boxes (at 250-300 comics each) and a few short boxes. So many comics... so little time.

So, go ahead, tell me how sick I am...

Random Thoughts

2007-02-02T08:55:00.000-05:00

The next time I blog about global warming and how I miss winter, kindly remind me to shut the hell up. Okay, winter was delayed, not cancelled. We've had cold and snow for a couple of weeks now, with the meteorlogical Gods telling us that the cold will become especially bitter this weekend. Yikes.

So, of course, I take a few days of vacation during the coldest period thus far in 2007. I'm using the time to work on my home improvement project. My spare bedroom has almost completed its transformation to Geek Room. I'll post photos when it's done.

Still enjoying re-watching Wonderfalls. Still can't get that friggin' theme song out of my head. Curse you, Andy Partridge! Still building anticipation toward Kevin Smith's appearance here in Akron. Still wanting to go see "Catch and Release" again.

Okay, the battery on my laptop is low, my coffe cup is cold and empty and someone else can probably make better use of my booth here at Panera. Time to sign off.

I Wonder Why the Wonder Falls on Me?

2007-01-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

I'm always late to the party on really good TV programs. I originally thought Star Trek: The Next Generation was a boring rip-off. Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- a TV show from that silly movie? Bah! I didn't realize how good Firefly was until it hit DVD. Not having Showtime, I never watched Dead Like Me until it aired on Sci-Fi.

It was the latter that finally made me ante up the bucks for Wonderfalls. I caught one episode of the short-lived Fox TV show and don't remember being particularly impressed. Most people I knew thought it was a copy of Joan of Arcadia, but I never saw that, either.

After falling head over heels for Dead Like Me, I noticed that Wonderfalls had some of the same creative people behind it, particularly Bryan Fuller and Tim Minear. The DVD set had been on my wishlists at Amazon and DeepDiscountDVD since it came out, but I hesitated, waiting for it to be on sale. A couple of weeks ago, I bit the bullet and ordered it.

Yup, it was every bit as good as DLM -- maybe even better. I devoured all 13 episodes over the course of a weekend. The cast was fantastic. The quirky stories kept me engaged and craving more. Hell, I can't even get Andy Partridge's theme song out of my head! I'm watching all the episodes again, this time reviewing the extras and commentary. (The music video for the theme song mentioned two sentences back is a hoot!)

Do yourself a favor -- support quality storytelling and excellence in acting and buy (or borrow or rent, whatever) Wonderfalls: The Complete Viewer Collection.

Global Warming: Remember Winter?

2006-12-30T19:21:00.000-05:00

It was in the 50's today in Ohio. I took my dog to the park for a leisurely walk in the sunshine. I didn't need an overcoat. We drove past a guy mowing his lawn.

MOWING HIS LAWN! IN DECEMBER! THE END OF DECEMBER, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!

Okay, after reading Michael Crichton's State of Fear, I was prepared to believe that all the global warming hoopla was just that -- media-incensed tripe designed to give the unwashed masses another boogeyman under their collective beds.

And yeah, the movie "Day After Tomorrow" gave me the willies and caused me to rethink my position on climate change briefly. But I got over it.

I'm not so sure now.

I miss winter. Don't get me wrong, I'm no skiing nut or sledding enthusiast or fan of cold weather in general. I hate driving in it and bundling up against it. Possibly the only good thing about a blanket of snow was that when I let my dog into the backyard to answer nature's call, he came back in clean.

But winter reminded me of the cycle of life. Birth, growth, maturity, decline and death -- they marched across the landscape with inevitability and certainty.

The freakish weather makes me very uncertain.

For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. Whatever goes up must come down. For every yin there is a yang.

So when will the other climactic shoe fall? And will we survive it any better than the polar bear is surviving this?

The Christmas Card Conundrum

2006-12-16T20:21:00.000-05:00

As I was addressing my holiday cards a few days back, it occurred to me that I tend to categorize my card recipients. Maybe you do, too. Maybe everyone does. It goes something like this:
"The Always Send List"
These are the friends and close family that you always send Christmas cards, regardless of your current relationship or whether they send you a card or not. These are the folks who get the good cards, written early in the process when you write actual sentiments and take real care addressing the envelopes.
"The Keeping In Touch List"
These are the folks you only communicate with once a year -- college friends, distant relations, former co-workers, and so forth. You send them a card, often enclosing one of those trite, poorly written "catch up" letters and signing just your name. (Depending on how long it's been since you last saw them, you may sign both first and last names.) If you don't hear back from them after a few years, they risk dropping to the next category:
"The Obligation List"
These are the last people on your holiday wish list. If you bought several different cards, these folks get the cheap ones. You are only sending them a card because of some real or (most likely) perceived sense of obligation. Professional contacts rank on this list, "friends of friends," in-laws neither you nor your mate particularly like, etc. You mostly send these because you fear the ramifications of not sending them.
"The Reverse Send List"
This last category isn't really a list at all, but a reaction to having received a card from someone who dropped off (or never made) one of the previous lists. Sometimes, you'll personalize these with a statement about what a nice surprise it was to get their card. (This, of course, is kind of an acknowledgment that you never intended to send them a card, but a well-intentioned thought, nonetheless.)

Of course, if you got a card from me this year, you must be on the top of my list. Really.

Another Birthday, Another Day

2006-11-25T18:37:00.000-05:00

So, I turned 46 yesterday.

I was visiting my friend Matt in Pittsburgh and it wasn't until halfway through the day, when he wished me a "happy birthday" that I even remembered.

S'funny but I don't feel that old. I don't feel any age. I just feel... like me.

I wonder if that's one of the (few) advantages of not having the nice, normal, married-2.5 kids-and-a-mortgage lifestyle. I don't have the usual guideposts for marking time. I don't have to set an example to my children by being "the adult." I don't mark the passage of time with anniversaries and teething and diapers and graduations. True, I watch those of my friends' families and even my nephews, but they are remote enough to seem to have to effect on my personal timeline.

True, the gray hair outnumbers the dark hair and the morning aches and pains betray the aging of my physical shell, but the spirit inside feels no different.

Sigh.

Matt took me to see a fairly interesting musical revue in Pittsburgh, "Forbidden Broadway." As a farce, it did a good job of spoofing Broadway shows past and present. (The Carol Channing bit alone was worth the price of admission.) As a musical show it was a tad uneven. I was duly impressed with the 4-person cast with their quick costume and makeup changes. Not a bad way to spend an evening in a strange town.